Just interested in what others have done (or plan to do) with their toddler (under 3 year old) when in labour with a subsequent child. Did you drop them off at a relatives house? Did someone come and watch them in your home? Did you do this early on or later when labour was more established? Did you have a back up plan in case your first choice of carer was sick or unavailable? We have a son who will be 2 years 7 months when baby is due. I will be having the baby in hospital - my mother and husband will also be at the hospital as support people. As children are still pretty demanding at this age (and he will probably not be fully toilet trained) it seems quite a big thing to get someone else to look after him. First choice is my mother-in-law, but she is having back problems and may not be able to do it. My husbands brother is an option - although they don't know our boy so well, they may be working at the time and they might already have their hands full with their own kids - although it would be a good opportunity for him to spend some time playing with his cousins. Going by my last labour it could be a long one, so I need to consider that he may need someone to look after him over a couple of days (considering that hubby may desperately need to catch up on sleep after the birth). I think this will be one of the harder things for me this time - being away from my little boy - he has never been away from me overnight. Any thoughts, advise, ideas would be much appreciated...

I stressed over this topic for months when I was pregnant- I ultimately planned on having a friend come to my house when I went into labor, and had another friend (my next door neighbor) available for back up. God was so good in that I began laboring at home around 1am and went to the hospital at 3:30, while my son was still asleep. The friend that drove me to the hospital (another stayed at the house with my son) had the job of going back to my house and bringing my son to the hospital- he was there within minutes of his sister being born, hung out for a while, went home for a while and then came back and spent the night with me there... The next day my friend took him for a few hours and they came back and picked me and the baby up to go home... I could have stayed an extra night, but was anxious to get home. I will say that this is when all potty-training efforts went by the wayside (my son was about 2 and 7 mos, too.)

Well my mother has told us to just bring Abby to her whenever I go into labour - day or night! :shock: So I will have a bag packed ready for her. But if I go into labour when she is working (during the day) then I am not sure... I haven't asked her if she would be able to leave work and come home or if we will just take Abby with us to the hospital. I don't actually mind her being in the delivery room.. but not sure how she would cope with that. She will only be 2 years and 3 1/2 months then. I have done it before (labour) so I think I can hold back this time on the screaming and face making LOL :lol: so she isn't upset by it. I will make sure I get as many top ups on the Pethidine as they can give me :lol: I actually really want her to be a part of it .......
Something I need to discuss more with my mother and Paul and my midwife too.

My son stayed with my MIL while I was in the hospital but stayed at the hospital alot during the day whne my husband would bring him to visit. He missed us and we missed him SO much that it was just terrible. I will never forget him calling me in the hospital the night before I came home and was crying, wanting me. It broke my heart! Stephanie

I had it planned so that my mom would watch my daughter. I had a c-section so i knew what time i was going to drop her off. :wink: However, if i didn't have a c-section i still would of done the same.

MY PARENTS AND INLAWS SAID THAT THEY WOULD BOTH TAKE MY DAUGHTER KWYNN, WHO WAS ALMOST 3 WHEN HER BROTHER WAS BORN. AS IT TURNED OUT MY SON CAME THREE WEEKS EARLY AND MY WATER BROKE EARLY IN THE AM ON MY BROTHER IN LAWS WEDDING DAY (DH WAS BEST MAN AND KWYNN WAS FLOWER GIRL. THE DOCTORS ENDED UP INDUCING LABOUR AT AROUND NOON. MY DH SPENT THE DAY RUNNING BACK AND FORTH FROM THE WEDDING TO THE HOSPITAL. DD KEPT TELLING PEOPLE THAT MOMMY WAS AT WORK. MY SON WAS BORN DURING THE FIRST PART OF THE RECEPTION. DADDY WAS PRESENT AND IN A TUX. KWYNNIE SPENT THE REST OF THE TIME AT MY PARENTS HOUSE. NO ONE BUT MY HUSBAND COULD COME TO THE HOSPITAL TO SEE OUR NEW DS , BECAUSE OF THE SARS OUTBREAK. WHEN OUR THIRD CHILD WAS BORN WE TOOK THE KIDS TO MY MIL AND THREW THEM INTO BED WITH OMA AND OPA ( IT WAS 4:00 AM)

My son stayed with my MIL while I was in the hospital but stayed at the hospital alot during the day whne my husband would bring him to visit. He missed us and we missed him SO much that it was just terrible. I will never forget him calling me in the hospital the night before I came home and was crying, wanting me. It broke my heart! Stephanie

I worry about that! But I'll probably miss Abby more than she will miss me HAHA She is just as happy to be with her Nana or aunty. Other than that... she won't stay with anyone else.
I worry a lot about how she will cope with not being the only baby anymore... :( My mum had to go and say the other night that she thinks she will be very jealous. :roll: That didn't help...
I just hope that everyone remembers to pay as much attention to her as Sophie.
I know I will make time for just the two of us. When Sophie is napping or at night when she goes to bed... that will be mummy & Abby time only.
And when I'm feeding Sophie Abby can sit next to me and I'll read her a book. And I'm getting a baby sling so I can carry Sophie around while I do the housework so that will leave my arms free for Abby as well...

Blake was 2 yrs 2 mos when Nick was born. I had a scheduled C-section, so my oldest sister, who's single & an RN, asked a week off work for that time and came the night before I went in. Blake didn't really know her (she lives 6 hours away), but her coming the day before and playing with him made it completely comfortable. We had to leave at 5 am, 'cuz the hospital's an hour away & I needed to be there by 6. It worked good, 'cuz Blake didn't have to see us leaving. I honestly don't know what I would have done if it wasn't scheduled. We have no immediate family here and all of my close friends have babies too. :?

We're having a planned C-section, so relatives can take the time off and watch Riley.

I've been there! Imagine this though, having 2 under 3 years of age and being in labor for the 3rd!
We had a back up plan, a plan A and B, just in case because we didn't know when it was going to happen. We didn't live near relatives so we had 2 sets of good friends who were on 'standby'. All went well!

I had my appointment with my midwife today and I decided to ask her about this... I asked is it ok if Abby is in the delivery room if we can't get anyone to look after her (eg if I go into labour on a weekday during the day when everyone is at work ...) and she said yes. As long as Paul is looking after her. I said I will be fine since I've already done this all before and I don't need him to hold my hand :lol: So he can just stand up by the head of the bed holding Abby.
I would just have to make sure I don't act too upset/in pain.

I am hoping it doesn't come to that though...

I don't want Paul to leave the room because I want him there to be part of the birth like last time. And I know he would be upset if he had to leave the room. He wants to cut the cord.

Since we don't live close to relatives, we had to plan ahead too. I also had a scheduled c-section this time so dh and I talked for a while about who we felt our ds would be comfortable with for the time he would be apart from us. We also wanted to make sure it was someone we trusted, so we wouldn't be worried about him!
He stayed with a lady from our Church, he was with her most of the day and then her kids came home around 3pm and after they ate dinner, they brought our ds into the hospital to visit. Then that night my dh took him home, so he was only with them for the day.
He did really well, although he almost killed their goldfish :shock: He decided to put his cars in the goldfish bowl and it overflowed and the poor goldfish was found on the floor!
Anyway I know it is a concern and I pray you will be peaceful about you leave him with!

I had the perfect plan. I did not want anyone knowing I was in labour. With the first, you can do this, with the next ones, well, not so much! Anyway, I decided that I would take my ds to the babysitters as I did daily, then go into labour as I was driving across town (I know, I know, driving in labour, but if it was early labour, it would be okay), go straight to the hospital, call my dh from there and have him come. Have the baby, dh would go get ds from the babysitters and all would be good. Nope, it didn't happen that way. We went to the hospital this time on a Sunday at 4 am. My bil lives downstairs so we told him that we were going and he moved into the spare room usptairs so that James could find him if he woke up. They sent me home (another story in itself) and then around noon when I went back in, we dropped James off at a friend's house. It was awful for me to have all those people knowing what was going on. Not sure what we will do if we have more.

We had a back up plan, a plan A and B, just in case because we didn't know when it was going to happen. We didn't live near relatives so we had 2 sets of good friends who were on 'standby'. All went well!

We are sort of doing this as well. Multiple plans for all occasions, even someone to pick Ben up from the hospital if we don't have time to get him somewhere because I am progressing so quickly. MIL will come if she's free but that is 3-4 hours away(and she could very likely not be free) and as of right now I am not getting induced or having a section. So it could happen whenever. I just hope that it starts when DH is home. DS has a guarenteed night place where he has spent the night before, but the days will be a little more dicey. I am going to pack a list of people we can start calling if our first couple plans fail. I am almost more worried about this part of having a baby than the actually labor :oops: If that makes sense.

We had my folks to watch our 20 month old when we went in to have our baby. If my folks were not available, they we were going to have my ILs watch our oldest. We had him at the hospital with us as much as a 20 month would allow us to after we had our youngest.
I ended up having to go in to be induced, which in turn I went into labor on my own, so we had things stategically planned, but still, there were many times I had to go in to L&D with preterm labor and sifted through family to find a sitter

Going by my last labour it could be a long one, so I need to consider that he may need someone to look after him over a couple of days (considering that hubby may desperately need to catch up on sleep after the birth). I think this will be one of the harder things for me this time - being away from my little boy - he has never been away from me overnight.

Our first was 15 months when our second was born. I was not overly concerned about where to take her as my mil was close by and it all seemed to just work out that way (we are very blessed) but I had never been away from our dd for any length of time and was her sole care taker so I was pretty worried about that. It was very important for me to know that she was able to sleep at home and not get her schedule too upset so we planned to have mil watch her in the daytime and daddy take her home at night. The worst part for me was knowing ahead of time that I was going to be away from her for three days. Grandma was good at bringing her up to visit during the days and Daddy came up too with her in the evenings so that seemed to help. Overall it went well and I was home with her before I knew it...I will be praying for peace!

Melanie

I would be so worried about my twins seeing me in labour incase it scared them!!! Does this worry anyone?

I am having a planned c-section due to a "low placenta", so it's really not the same thing I know, but on the day I am booked in my mother is coming to watch the twins, then after I have had a few hours to recover she is bringing the twins in to see me and the baby and visit with us for a while, then taking them back to her house for a few days.

She is then bringing them home for DH to look after them.

If I have any emergencies I guess my only call is to call DH's work and pull him home - he's only 20 mins away however.

Aiden was 24 mo. when I gave birth to Willie. We just dropped him off at Grandma's and went to the hospital. He didn't really notice anything wrong. We told him he would stay with grandma when the baby came out of my belly, and he was good with that. He stayed the night so my dh could stay with me and William at the hospital.

For Robert, Aiden was 4 and Willie was 2, same drill, stay the night at grandma's, dh stays with me and the new baby.

My MIL just called in to work those days. She brought them up for a little visit, then took them to McDonald's afterwards. They were not really bothered by it at all. She watches them at least a few times a month, and sees them at least weekly, so they know each other well. [heartbeat] She also has all kinds of supplies, a pack and play, and car seats at her house so we didn't need to take anything.

The backup plan was to get anyone we could to come to our house. First dh and I would call our sisters, then it was anyone's game after that LOL.

I would be so worried about my twins seeing me in labour incase it scared them!!! Does this worry anyone?



It doesn't really worry me but I have been basing it on Abbys personality that she will be ok if she is there. When I'm in pain or crying she has laughed at me :( instead of getting upset. If it does come to this I would try my hardest to reserve the facial expressions and noises LOL Will make sure I get as much Pethidine as I can have! LOL And Paul would hold her and they would stand up by my head not down the other end LOL
So she wouldn't see anything...

But yeah I have no idea what she will react like ...

That would be worst case scenario... our plan is to drop her off to my mum and dad. But if I go into labour during the week when they are working then we would have to take Abby with us.

Thank you for all your thoughts and comments. I have had a friend who knows Joshua quite well offer to come over if we need her to watch him. She would probably be available during the day to watch him while others are at work. But I wouldn't want to take her away from her own home for too long. Still, it is good to know that this is another option. I like the idea of him being able to stay in his own environment.

I definately wouldn't want him to see me too far into labour because he is really sensitive. He gets quite distraught if he thinks that I am upset or in pain. It is actually really sweet. The other day I said "Owch, I've got pins-and-needles in my leg" and he came over looking concerned saying "You all right?" and blew me a kiss. However, he has been known to laugh when Daddy says "Owch, that hurt!" (I think he just doesn't know when the play ends and the seriousness begins in this case).

:lol: yeah Abby sometimes laughs at me and sometimes she gets all upset and cries and tells Paul "mummy ok?!" and he has to bring her to me so I can tell her I am ok :lol:
She knows what "ouchie" is since one time I stood on one of her triangle wooden blocks and cut my foot open. I was REALLY crying and she was really upset too. So for ages after that she would point at my foot and say "ouchie". LOL Now she tells me she has "ouchies" LOL when there is nothing wrong with her LOL She always wants me to kiss her hands. She does get scratched a lot by our cats (because she teases them). But most of the time she just likes the attention she gets from telling me she has an "ouchie" LOL She even tells me "nose" when I am blowing my nose so I will wipe her nose too LOL