Those of you who have three, can you share your experience?

DH and I are praying right now about going for number three (and staying there b/c of csections). I remember going home from the hospital with DD looking at my two precious kiddos...thinking...I feel complete. But now, we are not so sure, and DH is more certain than i am about wanting three. The first two were easy...simple decision. Somehow I feel like I need to be more practical on this one. I will try to spare you the novel that could be written right now of where my thoughts go. I have been praying that the Lord show me somehow if it is His will to have another. Perhaps by giving me a great desire when i look at babies or something. but i am still unsure.

There are so many pros and cons that go thru my head. I think it would be good for our kids to learn to share more...and that would have to happen if we had another. it is either now...(with in five months or so) or never for me I feel (age etc...). I teach part time, I am a missionary, and husband is a pastor. So our budget is...well...as such. So flying to the states might not be as often to visit family with three as opposed to two...but God does always provide. I wish we could have an "oops" baby (for lack of better term...knowing that there is no such thing), but in our personal situation it would have to be very planned/deliberate. I wonder if i can handle three well...and not be a frazzled mommy etc...so many thoughts!

I will be 35 in November...and DS will be 4 in nov. and DD 2 in december.

any experiences you can share....to help put me at ease with which ever direction we go? I know that I need to give it up to the Lord....but the thought almost controls me day and night....and I want to put it at rest (by either start trying... or not...and leave it at that).

thanks ladies! I am new here...and I know you don't know me yet. maybe this can be a good way to get to know some of you. :)

DH and I are now blessed to be parents of 4 girls but I remember back when feeling as you do. Also, we were a family of three for 5+ years so I'll be happy to share our thoughts... I found it hardest to adjust personally when going from 1 to 2 kids (maybe because they were only 17mths apart). I found the transition to 3 pretty easy myself and found new joy as a mom in the process. I was more experienced, so I think I enjoyed our new daughter more and spent much less time worrying and hurrying towards various milestones. Because my dh teaches our income has always been somewhat of a concern as well, but the Lord has always provided for us in all areas including this one. My advice, as you mentioned you are already doing, is to continue to seek His will in this decision. I find that I always become led by a certain sense of peace myself and that He has a way of helping us to put all the little pieces together when it is His will. Please feel free to pm anytime with any questions or to talk.
Blessings,
Beth

Hi Catringa! You know it's funny that you mention this because i'm in the same boat you are. My dd is going to be 4 in nov. and my son will be 2 in april. Me and hubby were actually discusing whether to have more or not because i have already had two c-sections. We have also discussed adopting as an option. Anyhow, sorry i'm not much help. Hopefully we will both get some good info on here. *wink*

I have four. And I must say I am glad that I do. I like the bigger family, though I don't consider us BIG at all. I will say that going from three to four was a big adjustment. You can't take them one on one. There is always another out there while two of them receive attention. It requires more juggling. It was a harder adjustment than one to two was, but like all things you do adjust and they are such a blessing. I felt more like a family than playing house, if that makes any sense! LOL! (I miss my smileys) Three to four didn't seem quite as big either as two to three was. By then it had already all fallen apart and all my expectations and standards were out the window anyway! LOL! I don't regret it one bit!

Well...
My favorite quote "How big is your God?" comes to mind here. It was that quote that got us started on our family. It has been that quote that has carried us through as we are now here on our 6th.

As far as the transition, I believe going from 1 to 2 was the hardest. From then on, it's really not that big of a deal. Until you get into homeschooling and you have a 4th and 2nd grader who still need lots of one on one time and a preschooler and/or toddler that needs attention as well. That...can be a bit tricky and frustrating and overwhelming at times..but, you manage. You just do it and you manage : smiles :

You really do just have to give it to God. Ask what He wants of you. What is His conviction and plan for your life? Seek that...then follow. : grins :

I agree that going from 1 to 2 was the most difficult; going from 2 to 4 over night (we had twins) was nothing compared to changing our family circle from us and one child to us and TWO children. NOW, four is nothing and we LOVE our big family. :) It's a breeze once you find your niche and routine. :)

Hmm...DH and I were NEVER gonna have kids yet...God had MANY more plans. DS just turned 3, DD will be 2 in Dec and DS #2 is due in Oct. I'll be 35 in November.;) Ya just never know what God has in store and we have really left it in His hands. It can be frustrating at times like Tara said but also so rewarding to have them close in age.

Pray that God gives you guidance on your decision and both you & DH a peace in what it is. Blessings to you!! ~Kerri

The transition from 1 to 2 was hardest for me too… For me it was because of the age thing. They were only 23 mos. apart and it was really hard for Makenzie to adjust to having to share me with her new baby brother; she was just a baby herself, so her not adjusting well, broke my heart a little bit. Sometimes I wish I could go back and change having our 2nd baby so soon, and give her more of that special mommy time she seemed to need so much… but then we wouldn’t have our Malachi now would we? : )

So, going from 2 to 3 went a whole lot smoother. Malachi and Ricky jr. are 3 years apart. : ) Ricky jr. wasn’t planned btw… I remember thinking right before I found out I was preggars, how I was happy and content with being a family of 4… we had our girl and our boy and we’d made up our minds that we were done having anymore kids…

During that time, finances were pretty tight, and my honey and I along with others were praying for a blessing… lol.. One thing we’ve learned about prayer is, sometimes ya’ gotta’ be very specific. ; ) We were thinking more in terms of a raise from his job! … It wasn’t long after that we found out #3 was on the way.. God’s gotta’ great sense of humor doesn’t He?!? lol! So, we may not have planned to have 3 children, but God sure did… And He blessed us indeed! : )

Anyhoo... i guess i've babbled long enough.. ; )

thank you so much ladies! It has been encouraging to hear your stories. Tara, you are right...how big is my God.....and it puts things into perspective. Have you guys seen the movie Facing the Giants? if you have...the part about preparing your crops for rain....believe and anticipating that God is going to answer prayer. Yes, specific prayer is good. i'm not really worried about finances. And I would have to say that wondering if I would be able to handle the third or not...is also second place to: What does God want. I haven't felt that perfect peace yet that only He can give....and I sooooooo just want to know what he wants. I still daily go back and forth...today specifically after being in the grocery store with the two....DD had just poured accidentally the yogurt I gave her to drink while we were there all over all the groceries in the basket....going to the check out...and DS saying "potty mommy, potty mommy" cell phone ringing...etc...you all know the routine. days like today I think I am content with two....I can enjoy toddler stage to it's fullest....and totally concentrate on where they are at. would a baby in the picture (a year from now mind you) distract me from totally enjoying them where they are at...and giving them all they need?

I think if I KNEW that is what He wanted for us....I would actually be excited about it. I even bought folic acid pills the other day...and I am thinking about taking my temp in the mornings etc... :) Just in case we feel the green light from the Lord. (preparing my fields for rain). I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride on this one...and I know God doesn't want that. ohhhhhh...and my thoughts.........what if we were to go for number three....and the baby was a special needs baby etc....could our marriage handle that (Tara...I think I hear you saying again...how big is your God!). I am living outside my own culture/language etc...i married INTO the culture as well...so there are enough things in our marriage to make things just a bit more difficult...and I just wonder if we didn't have a healthy baby...what that would do. now....i have no idea why i am confessing all these thoughts and fears... but I just feel like I am struggling...and being a pastor's wife, I can't necessarily share these with anyone at church....and poor DH doesn't need to go on this roller coaster with me everyday.

He seemed excited yesterday though about the thought of three which made me smile! and I know ....that if he thought FOR SURE the Lord wanted us to have another one...I would of course be happy to go for it. But I do not see the sureness in him either.

I don't know why it is like this with this possible third baby. :( I feel horrible about it. THe first was a surprise (the best!)...and DD was very planned...and I JUST KNEW it was time.
Again, in our personal circumstance....a surprise is just not likely to happen.

thank you for listening ladies. and thanks for your thoughts and experiences. I hope people continue to share...and I really look forward to reading more on this thread about more experiences.

Holly

Hi, Hon! (hugs) I say, go for it!! (smile) If your fears are the only thing holding you back, you'll someday regret being led by them. When you're holding baby number three, you'll laugh at the fears you're having today. Your kids will be nicely spaced apart, and your older ones will be a help to you with the baby. I've never personally met a woman who regretted having a child, but I've met women who regretted not having more. If there's anything inside of you wanting another, I think you need to go for it or you may regret it later in life when it's too late.

BTW, we have four. Going from two to three was a breeze, and so was going from three to four. I wish I could have more, but I'm unable. I thought I was through with having kids and was feeling very satisfied with four, and I thought I always would be. I had my tubes tied because my doc insisted due to medical issues I have during pregnancy. My youngest recently turned eight, my oldest is nealy fifteen, and I wish with my whole heart I could have more. I could parent in my sleep, my schedule flows with ease, the money situation has improved each year, and now there's all this room in my life for more. I never imagined life with four could be this easy. I truly wish I had six.

I'll pray for you to make the right decision, girlfriend. The Lord will lead you.

Love,

Joy

... If your fears are the only thing holding you back, you'll someday regret being led by them. When you're holding baby number three, you'll laugh at the fears you're having today. Your kids will be nicely spaced apart, and your older ones will be a help to you with the baby. I've never personally met a woman who regretted having a child, but I've met women who regretted not having more. If there's anything inside of you wanting another, I think you need to go for it or you may regret it later in life when it's too late.



Very. well. said : smiles :

You cannot allow yourself to be led by your fears! Very good point Joy. And I, too, have met far too many women who regret not having more, but never a one who regretted HAVING them. And I know some big families : grins :

Thanks, chick-a-dee!

(smooch)

Joy

I'd send ya more love for that one if I could, Joy hehe

I'm locked out, too, Tara. teehee!

I'll get ya when you least expect it! (sticking tongue out)

XOXO

Joy

hi ladies

i actually responded a couple days ago...a LONG response too...but something happened...and it never posted (my computer issue). :( sooo....i will make this short and sweet...... I just want to thank you. I think I found this board at the right time in my life. I appreciate you guys taking the time to respond...and share.

It took you (Joy and Tara confirming..) to point out to me what i was doing. I was living by my fears. I was letting them control a big decision....and let them take me for a rollercoaster ride! I feel so much more at peace now...with making a decision. What was also EXTREMELY helpful....was asking if there is "something in me that wants another"....and i had to ask myself that. And there is. I am not one to go crazy over other people's babies....so to go get a baby fix by holding other babies...doesn't work for me. I think I need to have my own baby...because I think I will regret it later...when i can't go back and have them. you also calmed my fear...making me realize that the baby won't show up tomorrow....that both my kiddos will be older then...and it will be easier. My hubby is on board...and that is such a blessing. sooooo....I just want to thank you. Maybe you will be getting a post from me in a couple of months....with a neat new ticker at the bottom....announcing something special!!

Awwww!!! Wow! That's awesome!! I can't wait to see that ticker and announcement!!! I'm so happy for you, gal! : )

thanks Jennie! you have no idea how relieved i feel...just to have made a decision...and to feel a peace about it. Have you seen the movie "Facing the Giants"? If you have, the part about us believing that God will bring the rain....and preparing the fields. So....I will prepare the fields.....in anticipation for what He will do. I really do feel that God brought me to this board at just the right time for me. Christian fellowship in English is something I don't have much of. Thanks for being excited with me!! It multiplies the joy! I'll keep ya posted (wink!)!!

So happy for you hon!!! Can't wait to hear the exciting news!

thanks Jennie! you have no idea how relieved i feel...just to have made a decision...and to feel a peace about it. Have you seen the movie "Facing the Giants"? If you have, the part about us believing that God will bring the rain....and preparing the fields. So....I will prepare the fields.....in anticipation for what He will do. I really do feel that God brought me to this board at just the right time for me. Christian fellowship in English is something I don't have much of. Thanks for being excited with me!! It multiplies the joy! I'll keep ya posted (wink!)!!

Yeah, I have seen the movie and we REALLY enjoyed it and got the same Quote from it! We use it ALL the time as it seems to be useful all the time! Amazing! I'll sure be looking forward to your "news"! : )

awwww Yea!!
Good to hear you were able to dig down and find some answers, and peace :o)