Homeschool Decision...long!

[momohnc]

Hi. I wanted to hear from you HS moms and to ask you to please pray for us. Our daughter is 4, turning 5 in Nov. I have wanted to homeschool her for a while, but now as the time gets closer I just don't know if I will be able to. We have been wondering lately if she may have ADHD,(my husband has ADD), and we have a 9 mth old who is very much a distraction to her. I have a struggle usually just to get her to stay seated for mealtimes, and it is like pulling teeth to get her to follow through with a task she isn't interested in. We have to tell her over and over and over to do or not do some things, and it is really wearing on me. She is our first, so I have never been through it before, but I feel like her behavior is not run of the mill preschool behvior. I just don't know how it would ever work. Private school may or may not be an option, not sure about tuition, and of course public school is the other one. I feel trapped, like I might be undertaking something that will just make us all miserable if I try it, but I don't like the idea of public school, and what would happen to her there if she does have ADHD? I thought about maybe trying it for Kindergarten and seeing how it goes... I hope I could make it through! Her pediatrician said he usually didn't try to even have them tested till 1st grade, but I would really like to know if she has ADHD or something else before I get started, if I do. I am so frustrated right now, I don't know if I would be able to handle the day to day disciplines of HS, but I feel like I need to at least try. Has anyone been there? How did you make the decision to HS or not? Thanks
Hollie

[luvmy4sons]

Hello Hollie. Aaaah! What a great mom you are. :) Here you are frightened of your choice but willing to do what is best for your daughter. But struggling to figure out what that is. James tells us that if we lack wisdom ask God and He will give generously without finding fault. Lots of prayer is how we decided. Lots of prayer and then circumstances, which is really God's leading, led us to where we are.

I would also ask, what does hubby think? It is key that you have his blessing and go ahead on this.

In the mean time here are some thoughts. She is not quite 5. That is VERY early. Lots of time. I know it doesn't seem like it but if she truly has ADHD then you really do have lots of time. These kids mature slower. I KNOW I have two sons out of four with ADHD! :) The second one I tried to put into the mold of the first and still I didn't start kindergarten till he was 6! And as I look back he wasn't ready. Each child is different.

Lots of reading. Short books if that is all she can handle. Read to her at least twice a day morning and night. See how she reacts. Does she show an interest? If she starts asking questions about the words on the page that is a clue. If she asks to be able to read just like you that is a clue she might be ready for more formal instruction. If she pretends to read, that is great! If she starts memorizing the words, another positive sign. If she barely sits still for a short book and runs off quickly in the middle, then she still just needs to be "little". I KNOW it is much better if you wait.

My fourth son I recognized the signs. I started him in pre-school formerly at home when he was 6 with some computer CD's mostly.( he still couldn't hold a pencil well and learned to make letters by clicking on strokes) He started kindergarten at 7. But BOY what a difference compared to how I tried to push number 2! He read faster and easier and was so much more confident. Not nearly as many issues, because he was ready.

As she shows interest give her little things..even things from Wal-Mart or just tell her...that is an A, it says aaa... See how she does. Compulsory attendance in most states is 6 years of age. That means they don't have to go to school till 6. So you wouldn't have to notify or adhere to your states home school laws for at least another year. ADHD kids do so well home schooling because they aren't forced to fit into a box and you can taylor it to her needs.

If God calls you to this He will equip you. His power is made perfect in your weakness. His grace is sufficient for you. Right now, teach her about Jesus. Teach her manners and love her a lot and let her show you when she is ready. Read to her and teach her as you go about your day and she expresses interests in things. Then when she is 6 you can start formalized teaching at the level she is ready for no matter what "they" say she is supposed to be doing. She is YOUR child, given to you by God. Already you are showing yourself to be a wonderful steward of this life God has given you. Seek Him and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you! :P

[gen]

Hi Holly. First of all welcome to Cmoms! [welcomehi] . Nice to see ya around [lovesmile] . We are new to homeschooling ourselves. My children are 7 (twin girls) and a boy at 5. We started homeschooling in April and it has been an emotional rollercoaster ride for us but I do not regret taking the plunge. I had always wanted to homeschool but our circumstances never let us. This year I was so fed up with their school that I just took them out with little notice. The children never say they want to go back to school except to see their friends. Part of me wishes I could have homeschooled from the start but the other half is actually glad they had that experience. It is a major adjustment and after 3 months we are not in any kind of routine or using any curriculum or anything like that. It takes time to adjust from being in school to not being in school. I know families of children with special needs, like autism, who have taken their children out of school to homeschool. I would say that you know your daughter and your family best and you are best qualified to make that decision. This week I had been having doubts about taking them out of school, a sort of 'OH MY GOODNESS... WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!' moment. lol. Thats the emotional rollercoasterness of it. lol. Oh then after I had those feelings my children asked me of their own accord, 'I wanna do some maths'. and Josh, who hates reading says 'what does that say'. and asking to learn to read, all within 24 hours [rofllol] The other day when I asked him to read to me he said 'Ill do it when I grow up'. He's five! Bless him.

On the one hand there is no rush to put her into school. On the other hand you could get her into kindergarden and pull her out if you feel more confident about homeschooling. Either way, at this stage, she wouldnt fall behind if you kept her home really. kwim. I dont think Ive been very helpful. Sorry. I guess each family's reasons to homeschool is different. One doesnt have to put much thought into sending their child to school, its such the thing to do, but to homeschool its completely different, isnt it. lol.