married but feeling single

I was just wondering if anyone else literally aside from financial support, had to raise a child single even though they were clearly married to the father or step father.

Angela's daddy lost interest in her around age 2 and for 4yrs I solely had responsibility of her care and upbringing...

Now all the sudden she's 7 and "cool" ? He's reaching out to her but she's just wanting him to go away..Its really sad and I'm not sure how to handle it..

I tell her to respect her father and try not to be so mean to him..He really is trying(now)..I just don't think she knows him the way she knows me..

Hubby is trying to say his family has been talking bad about him..I think he did himself by ignoring her existance for 4yrs...He would go to work without telling her goodbye.Fuss at every little thing she did..He'd never take her out in public...She has been alone in the car with him 2 times her whole life! Once she was a newborn and we had a car in repair to pick up.soon as we got there she went into my car..The other time I begged him to take her out when she was 4...He drove through fast food and came back home...

I know there were absolutely no children in his childhood besides his playmates and that he had no clue what to do with a baby but my goodness he wanted her as much as I did...He was amazing while she was in NICU..He visited her every hour he could and video taped her so I could produce milk and he was stay at home dad for a year...Then he just felt I guess like he'd failed as a husband and father..

Am I the only one to ever go through this? Feelin real alone right now..

[ChelleFish]

praying.

[JeanineAnne]

praying for this situation as well....

Just keep building him up to her. My ex husband does a lot of stupid things that the kids see and dislike him for. That makes my job extra hard to get them to love him and like him. Top that off with a stepfather they regularly wish was their only father and it makes things difficult.

But it is still my job to create a love in them for both their father and stepfather. I know how difficult it can be, especially when you are hurt from the way he treats her. Just embrace his new found love of her and eventually she will too.

Thankyou Jeanine, I'm trying to.

What really gets me is when she asks me to find her a new daddy....I tell her I kinda like the one she's got...

Thankyou for your prayers

[breezykc]

Not quite the same situation, but I can relate...my Dad died when I was little and then remarried when I was about 5.....We are great now, so keep up hope and work! It takes TIME and CONSISTENCY!! The best way to start building a relationship is to do activities all of you together so she feels safe and secure, you can even ask questions of both so they can start to understand what the other one likes/dislikes while you're out and about. Do things where first she feels comfortable at places she's used to going and then build up to things he enjoys that he can help her learn and have fun together with...it's a PROCESS for sure, but if you work at it, it will come!

[breezykc]

OOPS! forgot this....when we started out....My mom and I would fix surprises for my new Dad to give him....this got me used to the idea of "him" and mom and I could talk about him together and she was always positive with me and telling me we were both learning (Dad and me) and I was able to take the time to do special little things for him withouth the pressure of "being" with him and then he's always act so happy and excited about what we'd done for him that it peeked my desire to do more and to do more with him.....bake a cake, special Dad cookies, a note, small and cheap, but his reaction (make sure to talk with him about having "excellent" reactions ;-) were a great starter!

[luvmy4sons]

That sounds hard. I am sorry you are feeling burdened and alone. But of course you know you are not alone. God is turly right there beside you whether you feel him or not. RIght?

Have you tried praying for your daughter and your husband to have a love after one another? I know when I was having a particularly hard time with one of my sons when he was younger and it seemed so negative all the time I prayed for God to give me a new love after my little boy. It really helped to turn things around to the positive.

And as hard as it might be to do, as much wonderful things you can do for hubby and say about him...the more your daughter will catch that spirit. Kids know though when it is put on. It has to be sincere. So maybe you can pray for God to put a love for your husband fresh and anew in you as well. He CAN do that! And you then start sowing seeds of positive love and good deeds that return to you ten fold. And soon it's catching all around. Sounds over simplified, and it's lots of hard work to overcome the flesh and return blessing for curses. He is the God of the impossible and he can do it. Commit your way unto the Lord and He will bring it to pass. Delight yourself in Him and he will give y ou the desires of your heart!

Heavenly Father,
I lift up Lis to you right now and ask a special blessing upon their home. Fill up her heart, her husband's heart and her daughter's heart with an overlowing love for you that flows out and to one another. Please send in your angels to fight the enemy and help them to follow your ways no matter how illogical they seem. Bless every little effort and build their faith. Restore this family. Nothing is impossible with you. You can do exceedingly abundantly more than we ask or imagine. Thank you Jesus. Open their eyes Lord. Fill them with a knowledge of your will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding that each may live a life worthy of you, please you in every respect, bear fruit in every good work and grow in their knowledge of you. Strengthen them with power according to your glorious might for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience. We know Lord that you will finish the good work you have begun. And I ask your blessing upon their home this day and each day as they seek your face. In your precious name, I pray, Jesus. Amen.

Thankyou for the prayers Leslie, everyone.

I always build my husband up to my daughter. I know I come here and let of steam, but this is the only place I let off steam.

Angela's smart. She sees him going off and talking horribly to me and about God and that combined with his never really wanting to be home for years. Whatever opinion she has she formed herself, unless inlaws are saying things because I know they have in the past.

They call him "mean" or "grizzly bear" and make it out like they're afraid of him..He's nothing to be afraid of so I work hard to show her the fun side of Daddy..

It is a tough situation all around and I'm hoping this camping trip gives us a good place to start.

[ChelleFish]

praying

[Gracie]

Are they his parents? -- I hope the camping trip is awesome :)

[Jendalain]

prayer...speak as if it they were, not necessarily as they are. Pray along with your daughter and edify him. Thank God for the perfect husband and father, which he has chosen for you. I would continue to speak life over the situation, and I will pray for you that this will change.

I started reading Captivating. I'm not sure if you've read it, but it is a great book. The book was a great healing tool for my Dad and me. Maybe you can read it along with your daughter and discuss her feelings and maybe how your father treated you and how it made you feel.

I'll be praying for you guys!

The camping trip really did wonders for hubby and daughter's relationship...She talks to him now....She's no longer afraid to ask him for a glass of water...that alone is a BIG improvement....Thankyou for the prayers over this situation..