Hi,
My dd is now a bit over 2 yo, and she does not want to listen when I ask her to do something! AND she seems to ENJOY time out! What do I do about this? I am trying to phrase things differently when I ask her to do something so that she still feels like she has a choice. It just seems like the answer back is, no! I told her not to talk back but I am not sure how to curb this. Is it just a stage?! Help!

Hey huge hugs to ya I know what you are going through because I am at the same satage with my nearly 4 year old. It is very frustrating, the best advice that I have been told is tell them what to do. Let me explain if your DD is drawing on the wall then you say, We do not draw on walls come and draw on some paper please. Also given them choice seems to help it makes them feel in control, if they are at the age to chose clothes in the morning chose 2 out fits and ask which one she wants on. I know that this is hard I am still going through it with my little girl I am trying to find a calm gentle punishment as I do not lick smacking her and I think that I shout too much.

If ya need to chat just PM me and I will get back to you, keep ya chin up.

Zoey

I agree with Zoey. I would not give a two year old choices when it comes to obedience. I would always expect her to obey. You can offer her choices like, "Do you want to take the stuffed bunny or the stuffed doggie with you?" However, when you offer her options to obedience, you are reinforcing disobedience. You always have to know what YOU want, because you can be sure she knows what she wants. If you want her to come to you, you say, "Come" and if she obeys, you can praise her. If she says, "No", then, in actuality, she has made the choice to disobey and needs to know that there is a consequence. The Lord expects us to obey. If we obey, we are rewarded; if we disobey, there is a consequence.

Just another note to this one if you have told her no once and she still persits with the bad behaviour than say Well I do not want to see that and take her to her room to calm down.

Another thing; if you teach her to obey quickly in small, simple ways, she will be more likely to obey in those situations where it's imperative that she obeys (for her safety). For example, if she is about to walk into the street and you say, "Stop!", she will know to obey instantly because she has learned this in less consequential ways. She won't be weighing whether she wants to or not. Just some thoughts...

My DS is the same way. He turned 2 in July and refuses to listen and obey. Somedays I get at wits end with him. We have tried redirection and time outs, spanking and taking stuff away all together. Nothing seems to work. I am curious to read the responses this topic gets and maybe better understand what we are doing wrong.

I agree that it does help to give some choices, but definately not when it comes to obedience. I also am not a big fan of saying "please" when telling your child to do something. It sounds as though you are asking a question or begging them to obey when in reality they have to do exactly what you say. Another huge key is being consistent. Every time she disobeys there needs to be an immediate consequence. Whatever you may choose to do. Here we spank, but that is up to you. You don't need to try to reason or explain things to her. At that age she won't get the talking nearly as much as a firm and loving response. So, don't be discouraged, just know what you expect from her and let her know it too.

Hey Mom From Canada how is it going with our little girl are things getting any better for ya, drop a line to let us know.

Hi,
Things are going not too badly. She is the in 'I DO IT' stage. Wants to do everything herself! So we try to let her and then offer to help. It is a bit frustrating and things take twice as long but it also amazes me how much she can do on her own too. We discipline her for 'talking back' - I don't want her doing that to dh and I. Things have also been a bit better too because now I am home from work so I am spending more one on one quality time with her, she seems to be responding to that well.
Thanks.