"GET OUT OF THAT!" "GET YOUR FINGERS OUT!" those seem to be what I've had to say to oldest ds today (he's 7). I was in the bathroom cleaning up and dh was supposed to know what the boys were doing (they were riding bikes on the deck). I came out to find ds all jumpy and I had heard the refrigerator door being closed. So, looked in the frig. and the lid on the strawberry dish was loose, there was strawberry juice dripped on the shelf (from the pie). Earlier today he kept sticking his fingers in the jam I was making. I'm just constantly telling him to keep out of things. Any ideas on how to get this across to him that he is to stay out of things. Oh, he lied about being in the refrigerator and then we were out in the garage and the big freezer was open so he'd been into that too!

Of course I remember doing things like that when I was his age too. :oops:

Janell

So, looked in the frig. and the lid on the strawberry dish was loose, there was strawberry juice dripped on the shelf

This same thing happened at my house the other day!! :shock:

Sorry I don't have much advice on how to get a child to listen when you tell him not to do something. I have a 9 year old son that I have to speak to several times a day! :roll:

Lori :D

"GET OUT OF THAT!" "GET YOUR FINGERS OUT!" those seem to be what I've had to say to oldest ds today (he's 7). I was in the bathroom cleaning up and dh was supposed to know what the boys were doing (they were riding bikes on the deck). I came out to find ds all jumpy and I had heard the refrigerator door being closed. So, looked in the frig. and the lid on the strawberry dish was loose, there was strawberry juice dripped on the shelf (from the pie). Earlier today he kept sticking his fingers in the jam I was making. I'm just constantly telling him to keep out of things. Any ideas on how to get this across to him that he is to stay out of things. Oh, he lied about being in the refrigerator and then we were out in the garage and the big freezer was open so he'd been into that too!

Of course I remember doing things like that when I was his age too. :oops:

Janell

We all did things like this at that age (and maybe older). :) You might try something like this:

You: Do not stick your fingers in anymore food items. Now what did Mom just say?

Him: Do not stick my fingers in anymore food items.

You: That's right. Now you know that that's what Mom wants. If you stick your fingers in food again this is what will happen: ___________. And if Mom asks you if you did it and you lie about it you will get double____________. What did Mom just say?

Him: If I stick my fingers in food I will get _____________.

You: And if you lie about it?

Him: I will get double _________________.

I think it always helps to make the child repeat what you just said so it's clear to both of you with no misunderstanding. The command and the consequence are clear. And there should be a consequence to his behavior to back up your words. Otherwise, we moms tend to fall into repeating ourselves which is not a real motivation to obedience.

Madre, I think it's high time you wrote a parenting book. If you could get on that right away, starting with my sons outright defiance and how to deal with that, then I would appreciate it! :D

My 8 yr old ds sometimes does the same thng. He thinks he is old enough to do whatever. Well what is working right now is one warning and then follow through. I tell him if he does something again then he will be grounded from his 4-wheeler or cannot play with the neighbor. These work on him right now because they are his favorite things. I also make him look me in the eye when I tell him something because if not then he acts like he didn't hear me say it. Stephanie

I also make him look me in the eye when I tell him something because if not then he acts like he didn't hear me say it.

Good reminder, Steph!

Dr. Dobson says in his book "Raising Up Boys" that for boys its important to touch them to help them hear you! :? I liked your approach Madre. Same one we use here at our place. We even had a chart..If you...then....

I guess they mean like put your hand on his shoulder and make him look you in the eyes type of thing? Maybe that's why my FIL taps/touches my shoulder when he is talking to me. GRRR :evil:

I guess they mean like put your hand on his shoulder and make him look you in the eyes type of thing? Maybe that's why my FIL taps/touches my shoulder when he is talking to me. GRRR :evil:
I did do it for awhile. The boys did seem to "hear" better but it freaked them out a little. They would say, " Mom, what are you doing? " I told them that Dr. Dobson ( they know who he is) told me that if I touch you on the arm when I tell you something you are more likely to hear it." They told me if I quit doing that they would try harder to hear me the first time! Yeah, like anyone can hear over the roar in this house with four boys constantly joking and rough housing and poking one another... :roll: I need to start touching them again! Teens bring you into a whole other world again, just when you thought you had it all under control! HA

Has this helped a bit, Janell?

Well, yesterday was quiet but this morning he was into something in the freezer. The other day when it happened we told him that the next time he would get _________________ so this morning he got ___________ At least this time he didn't lie about it. He knew he was being punished and I asked him if he knew what he was being punished for and at first he said no and then I told him that I had been in the freezer, did he know now what he was being punished for and he said yes, I was in the freezer and put my fingers in the ice cream (a new previously unopened container). It's just hard knowing that he can't be trusted to stay out of things.

Janell

Wonderful!!! I think as you keep the pressure on he will begin to figure out that sticking his fingers in food is not going to be pleasant in the long run and even less pleasant if he lies about it. Keep up the good work! :D