What do you think I should do?

[Reneemomto5]

Hi moms, I have used this forum before regarding breastfeeding and yes I need some advice on this topic again, sorry.

Though Mandy is my 5th baby she is my first breastfed baby, and she has been a wonderful nurser I love it. She is now about 16 months and I was and have been trying to wean her but she wants no part of weaning. I was worried about dependancy issues here.

My dilema: She had a well checkup today, she weighs barely 20 pounds, and 30 inches tall. That puts her in the 12 percentile, though I don't put much into the percentile thing the part that concerns me is this. First if I wean and she any looses weight dr. said she WILL have to go on a suppliment of pedia sure etc. They kind of want me to do suppliments anyway but I told them I don't like the sounds of that at all to use them to just fatten her up. Dr. said fine no need to now she is just small. Second he said to wean her I would just have to treat her like a kitten and push her away when she wants to nurse and she'll soon find other sources of comfort, again doesn't feel right at all. (male doctor by the way) So I think I know what the answer is here, keep nursing right, but what if she becomes so dependant on me nursing her that she'll not ever want to stop, I know adventually she will but this is so hard. Okay and in laws are very pushy on getting me to stop nursing as well so no support there.

Help please, am I making something out of nothing here. What do you think I should do. Probably a small problem in heinz sight, but this is so hard for some reason. She is my last, my premie born 10 weeks early, I am having so much trouble with this.

Thanks for reading this long post

[emilyrosejewel]

Hey there, I am not in the weaning phase yet, my little man is 10 mos. old. I am planning on weaning around 12 mos., although I am planning on continuing to nurse in the morning and at bedtime after that time. First off, how do you feel about weaning? Are you ready? It doesn't sound like your little one is ready yet. If neither of you are ready, continue with the nursing and let her be your guide as to when you stop. If you are ready to wean then there are ways to make it smoother. I don't know what you are doing, but from what I have read, one way is to give your baby some whole milk before a feeding, starting with an 1 oz. then nurse, and work your way up an oz. every day or every other day until the nursing becomes less and less and hopefully she will cut out the nursing as her tank will already be full. During the whole milk feedings you can hold her in a nursing position and cuddle while she drinks to make it easier. Do this process with all of the feedings until they are eliminated in a gradual process. Cold turkey is harsh and unnatural for babies.

Ultimately it is your decision and eventually she will wean as she becomes more independent and active. Follow your gut and don't listen to everyone else, mommy knows best!

[Kerina]

I'm really surprised that your doctor is saying that a preemie is too small. I'm sure she is fine, regardless of the nursing issue.

Society today has put so much emphasis on the breasts being sexual that they've forgotten what God also created them for. Don't worry about anyone else. God gave your children to you and your husband. It's hard, I know. You can confidentally remind your in-laws that the World Health Organization recommends a child be breast fed for at least 2 years. Go to http://www.kellymom.com/ for more information. Everyone's opinion is influenced by the popular vote, not the facts.

Some good fatty foods are nuts, seeds, olive oil, avocado. Dairy isn't good to have too much of, I know everyone says it is. (Again, popular vote, not fact :) )

My 2 year old (will be on Sunday) loves other children, loves to be at other family members houses, with or without me and never cries when I leave her in the nursery. She still nurses. I think she's doing okay in the dependency area. :) It's because of nursing that she is confident and secure. My 7 month old is great with other people as well. Who, by the way, was born 12 weeks early. So, I know what a major accomplishment it is for you to breastfeed your baby. Way to go!! And congratulations for making it this far. If you have any more questions, don't feel bad about asking. I'm happy to help you find the answer if I don't know it.

[Reneemomto5]

Emilyrosejewel, thank you for your response. You're right in the view that I don't think either Mandy or I are ready to wean, I'm worried more of what others think on the situation than of Mandy or myself. I did try as you suggested with the sippy cup before, though she is not tolerant to milk she loves her soy but she still will throw the sippy cup if she would rather nurse. I have tried not to sit down on the couch or the chair, just use the floor or stand, that worked for a little while but now she crawls in my lap when I sit on the floor too and wants to nurse. So that didn't work to well. Thanks for your advice though I think I should go with my gut more.

Kerina, oh thank you, you are so sweet. I love the kelly mom web site I use it often. I think I better stop worrying so much about what others think about me continuing to nurse, you're so right. She is quite content nursing and I think I'll just give it more time. And your right about the premie part, I don't even think the dr. realized she was a premie, he just looked at recent info, and I have gotten so use to the other dr.'s (there are 4) saying she isn't considered a premie anymore that I didn't even mention it. I'm not going to worry about it so much, she eats just about anything. Wow and what a great job you're doing, that's wonderful how well you have done nursing both your girls! Oh and the NICU stories we could tell right, so glad your daughter is doing so well too.

Thanks again

[Rach]

my son is the same age as your daughter and he's not ready at all to wean yet. My older 2 did child led weaning (at 16 mo and 11 mo), so I am just waiting for this one to do the same. I do make a grand effort to not nurse him between like 8am and 4pm, because we are usually busy then with errands or playdates, plus, if I want to go back to work, that would be the time. I found that as long as he gets one good, long session in per day, he's pretty quick with the others.
Oh and I stopped nursing him at night around 12 months - I was so sick of that! LOL.

People bug me about when he'll wean and I say, "Probably kindergarten!" and smile. They don't really ask many questions after that.
I am surprised the Ped is discouraging nursing. That's the best thing you can do for a preemie! The WHO recommends a minimum of 2 years nursing.

In regards to her weigh "issue" - are they scaling her on an adjusted scale, or based on her due date? That could make a big difference. Also, if you think your milk supply may be low, there are supplemtmts you can take to increase your supply, and make sure you nurse her long enough on a side for her to get the hindmilk.

[Reneemomto5]

Thanks Rach. Hope you don't mind me using the reply of "probably kindergarden" I love that, that could put a stop to a lot of the comments. Can I ask how you stopped nursing at night? Do you just let him cry in his crib? Do you hug him? Do you nurse him in the morning, at what time? Mandy still nurses at night, but can settle herself sometimes pretty well.

As far as Mandy's percentile, she was taken off of the "adjusted scale" for being a premie at about 9 months. And I don't think I have a milk supply issue, I have always had actually the opposite problem of too big of a supply that has recently been paying off, she is quite the nurser some days. Though like you said, I do try everything before I nurse to try and satisfy her.

Thanks again for replying, other nursing moms are many times more helpful than any book I read. I was just hoping for as you described a "child led weaning" and I don't think I have one, sigh.

I wasn't able to nurse very long due to health issues, but I've heard it said that " the nursing ends when the biting begins " :wink:

[tracy]

:shock: Glad my dd still only has 2 teeth! :wink:

[Reneemomto5]

Thankfully Amanda does perfectly fine with 9 teeth, though she is a pincher, ouch :lol: . I agree if there would be any biting I would most likely stop. But she's great.

[Rach]

Thanks Rach. Hope you don't mind me using the reply of "probably kindergarden" I love that, that could put a stop to a lot of the comments. Can I ask how you stopped nursing at night? Do you just let him cry in his crib? Do you hug him? Do you nurse him in the morning, at what time? Mandy still nurses at night, but can settle herself sometimes pretty well.

Feel free to use that comeback :lol:

Well we co=slept until a year, because it was so much easier to take care of him at night, but he got very demanding, and neither of us were getting proper sleep, so we started to put him into the pack and play after he fell asleep - but he still woke up when he heard me go to bed. So we moved him to his room. My dh is wonderful. When Bobert would wake up, dh would bounce him back to sleep and lay him back down. After about 3 weeks of that, he started sleeping through the night - he figured out that he was not getting to nurwse, so why not sleep?

We are both in better moods now! I was getting a little sleep deprived I think. Sometimes now he does cry when he lays down, but it's less than 5 minutes so we just close the door and let him cry. Most nights lately, he doesn't nurse to get to sleep - when it gets to be 8:30, 9 he will get sleepy and we put him in and he falls asleep, no crying. He likes to snuggle a blanket tho [heartbeat]

When he wakes up, dh changes him and he will climb up into bed with me, I nurse him on both sides, then he gets back down and plays. He's like my snooze alarm or something. :lol:

[Reneemomto5]

Thanks Rach, I remember you posting that before, sorry I should have remembered that was you. We both moved our babies to the mesh porta cribs at the same time. Thanks for all you help and wonderful advice with breastfeeding. Its greatly appreciated.

[cjropher]

[clap] [claphigh] [claploud] [clapping] [cheer] [bow] [thumbsup] [tippinghat] Ladies, you are doing amazing. I just recently weaned my 9 month old. I am amazed I made it that far, but that you could keep going is really something. Maybe next time I'm make it longer! My first was 5 months and this time it was 9. Lis, he started biting, so he was done!