Roller coaster ride...

[pioneerchristianmomof3]

To all you moms of adults/older teens...

How in the world did you handle the roller coaster ride?????
One minute you are the greatest, and then the next..."you suck and are ruining my life!" :roll:

I am finding the ride a bit tiring lately. I am an emotional/sensitive person and I think my biggest trial with my teen right now is how do you not take the things they say personally? I am trying to make my dd realize that, the things she says DO matter and have a power to hurt people. She always claims..."I didn't mean it, I was just mad"... I tell her it's wrong, no matter how you are feeling. She gets disciplined, but she doesn't seem to care. We are on a one way street here because, she can do it, but the world ends if anyone says anything "mean" to her. Frankly she is just plain selfish, and I am not sure if our teachings are sinking in.
Help for the mom of a 15 year old "brat"!!!!

[Geri]

Well Traci, I can't give advice, but I can tell you I'm right there with you!!
My 14yr old dd, is very selfish at times, and says some very hateful things too. It seems to be par for the course. We can go for days and get along great, then I tell her no about something and it's all over with.
Don't give up though, they eventually get it!! I have faith in that!! We have to stand firm in what we believe in!!!!!! Someday they will realize how right Mom was!! I'll be praying for you my sister!!!!!

[luvmy4sons]

Big hug dear sister. :) You can take courage that more of what you tell them is getting in than your realize. They have to find their own way of making their faith real to them. It has to become their faith.

I, too, struggle at times trying not to take personally comments made by my teens. I now have three(almost 18, 16, 13) and the fourth will be 12 in October...so he's close. It takes awhile getting used to them voicing their opinions more assertively. The article Madre posted is very helpful. You do have to let go of a few things, but you have to also realize that you can't let go completely. Teens still need you. They need boundaries etc...They need a lot of extra space though, and for me that has been the hardest. We have been such a close knit family. Our own emotions as mothers often get all entertwined with what is going on with them.

Keep on keeping on. My favorite verse changed when I started into the teens years 5 years back. It has been my yearly verse and is on the front of my lesson plan book:

"Do not weary in well doing for you shall reap a harvest in due season if you faint not."

Amen! :D

[Madre]

Don't let it get you down, Traci. [hug] I've been at loggerheads with every one of my kids at one time or another. Some of them start the angst business earlier than the others. :roll: This phase likely will pass, but you're right to insist on respectful behavior from your daughter.