I need to know if any other Moms have had a child that didn't talk until later (I'm such a failure). My dd is 20 months old, she has her own language, she babbles, she sings, grunts and yells, but not much direct effort to communicate. YES, she still has her Binkie (told you I'm a failure), but I try to limit it to bedtime and when I just can't take the whining anymore, it's more of a crutch for me.

Should I be worried? My doctor suggested a speech therapist a few months ago, but I was hoping she would pick up on it soon, and she hasn't. I could be in denial, but I...I just don't know.

Anyone have a thought? Experienced this before?

If your Dr. suggested a speech therapist, I would definately have her evaluated. Ask your Dr. about your local Early Intervention program. They will come to your home and evaluate your child for free in most states. Usually speech therapy is fun for kids. The therapists use lots of fun ways with toys, whistles, and bubbles to work those oral-motor skills and get kids talking.

I would also definitley recommend a speech therapist. My oldest, a boy was starting to talk when he sister was born (he was almost 11 months old) He could say bi bi, momma, dada. the basics. He completely regressed, and wasn't talking even by his 2nd birthday, it was all mumbles and whining. He went to speech and that helped a lot. We also found out that he needed tubes in his ears, because he couldn't hear anything. So all that we were saying sounded like mumbling. I would definitley follow your dr's recommendations. My son still has some speech problems and he is going to be 6 next week, more than likely he will need speech in school this coming year. Nothing to play around with. Hope this helps.

Cheri :)

Thank you, Ladies. Of course it isn't what I wanted to hear, but, I definately needed to hear it.

Most of all, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. Every child is a different individual who does things at their own pace. Have confidence and don't be so hard on yourself!!

Sending hugs!!

Very encouraging, thank you ladies. :)

Jayne has started a speech delay thread in the catch-all forum for anyone who is interested.

Thanks, Jayne! :)

Thank you Amy B And Jayne. I will check it out.

definitely! You should be able to get a free eval through your insurance or through the county school office.

early intervention is so important. Don't feel like a failure. All 3 of my boys have needed speech therapy. I have seen people from EVERY walk of life and every involvement level, and every parenting style there.

are you in denial? You'll know after you get an eval ;) If she doesn't qualify, fabulous, maybe you could try to do a small homeschool preschool program with her. I do anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour a day with my kids on weekdays. There are so many resources online! At that age it seems like little things, but that's huge for them...doing puzzles, learning colors, stacking blocks, counting, sorting, etc...

If she does qualify, a lot of speech therapy is you learning techniques and doing them at home during the week. I have learned so much through this process! They have really changed my expectations for my boys. I hear the results they get, and then I KNOW that he can do it, so I make him do it, whereas before I didn't think he could so I didn't push him. I hope that makes sense!

when i saw your title, the first thought that poped in my mind is : how many languages is your child exposed to?
I don't know if this is similar to your case, but maybe it will shed some light to someone in a similar situation:

My daughter was exposed to 3 different langages, my husband is Afrikaans, I speak more English, and my parents, Italian. and we each spoke our language to her - so, she did take a bit longer to speak, compaired to other children her age, but by the age of 4, she was fluent in English & Afrikaans (which she heard & spoke EVERYDAY) and doing rather well in Italian AS WELL... where the other children could only understand/speak 1 maybe a bit of a 2nd language.

But :
Take courage, 99% of all children have learnt to speak by the age of 10. :)

Then remember, Mom knows best. You CANNOT be a failure. God knew what He was doing when He chose YOU to be a mom! He loves you and your children, and He would not chose a failure to bring them up. if He did, then He would be a failure, so don't go around saying you a failure. The enemy loves it, but our loving Lord does not!

I know you will do what is best for your child, Remember, each child develops differently. where one may be quick to walk, the other may be quick to talk. (and once they start, you just wish they could sit still and keep quiet! :) hee hee :)

I called myPediatrician's recommeded speech therapist and they are going to send me a packet to fill out and send back to them, then they will call me for an appointment.

I feel better about this after posting here and hearing all your feed back.

Thanks again. I will keep everyone posted.
:)

I think that it is good that you are trying to get her into speech therapy. we just recently went through with speech therapy for mild speech delays, i am so thankful that we did. The speech therapist through discussions with us and watching Jakob (who was about to turn 4) also also able to get him referred and diganosed with other things. He, we just found out ,suffers from mild sensory integration disorder and sleep apnea.

I just took dd in for her well check. She is excelling in every area, but definately speech delayed. Her ped. said, according to what I told him about her behavior, autism is ruled out (thank God). It was around her naptime, so all she did was scream and cling to me and fight against him, so he had to go by what I said about her behavior since he couldn't give her a thorough observation as far as her behavior.

He gave me some phone numbers, and I have some "checking into" to do. But I will still keep updating here when new things happen.

Oh, I got her to say "Puh" (for pretzel), and I got her to repeat it four seperate times (Angel Choir joins in "HALLELUJAH"). Her ped said she is definately teachable and I feel much better, he does recommend ditching the binky, which we are only giving it to her at naptime and night now, well starting today (yikes).

First and foremost, you are not a failure, dear! I applaud you for inquiring and doing the best you can.

I had a friend write me recently about this and she got her son a speech therapist. The therapist found that he was extremely advanced with fine motor skills, but lacked in the communication area. He's doing much better now and things look like they'll be fine.

Also, my nephew was slow in talking, back at that age. He was the second born, and we thought he'd be very quiet since he rarely talked. We were slightly worried, but not terribly, and just chalked it up to just "his" way, but my sister kept an eye on him just in case.

THEN, all of a sudden, in his own time, he left loose. He must've been taking it all in all that time because he hasn't shut up since, and he has a great vocabulary and is very smart.

Stay positive and pro active, and trust that things will come around. A therapist might be a great help at this time.

GL!

"Parents as teachers", don't know if it is nationwide, came and evaluated Sarah today. Jenny (my assigned worker) gave me some things to work on with her. Sarah was able to follow instructions and learn to play in new ways (which is good). Sarah has been learning new words, but she still has yet to retain them and use them later. That is part my fault still since I am in denial and I get frustrated that she still doesn't catch on. She'll be two in November.


I did some new things with dd today and she did respond and catch on to a new game. I got her to say a new syllable, but she said it only once.

I'm positive about her. I just feel like doo doo with everything else going on.

But I said I would keep you gals updated.

(sad smile)

Hang in there! Please don't think that you're a failure - you obviously care about your daughter and you got her the help she needs. I'd call that a loving Mom!
My daughter took a while to learn to talk too - I was getting worried about her but suddenly it just seemed to click for her and she was naming all kinds of things! She's now 25 months, and she just had another "click" and now she's putting together short sentences (very short, mind you, but sentences nonetheless).
Hope things continue to improve! I know it's hard when you desperately want to know what they're thinking!
Does she seem to understand what you're saying? And follow simple instructions?

oops, i didn't mean to post that frowny face at the top of my last post - can't seem to figure out how to get rid of it.

Well, I'm sitting here in tears because I read some things about autism.

Sarah (almost 2) has many of the red flags.

Too many.

I could give her list of signs and symptoms here, but I just don't want to, but trust me, most of the warning sign lists, she has about 80% of the signs.

She seems normal at first glance, but there is just soo much to be concerned about.

Ok, here are some symptoms

no pointing
no speech, anything she learns is NOT retained
Intense tantrums
walking on toes
singsong babbling
spend lots of time lining things up and putting things in a certain order
has set rituals and ways of doing things
you can play with her, but she won't play with others, like she doesn't seek out companionship from her brothers, but she will seek me out to hold her
plays alone and stays in her own world
flaps arms a lot
doesn't wave or say bye bye
doesn't respond to her name
seems deaf at times (she hears just fine)
isn't concerned with others or their feelings
doesn't share enjoyment,
gets thing only for herself
doesn't show me anything of interest

She seems pretty functional otherwise, just more of a loner type.

I could go on, I didn't even want to post all of this, but I always think about how I might be helping someone else.


I've been in denial. I just hoped it would pass and fix itself. My baby, UGH.

This is killing me.

I know she has this disorder, I don't need a dr. to tell me what I know in my heart, but I know the dr. has to "officially" diagnos her. I'm going to call the dr. again and get her in ASAP. She is going to get intervention, I'm not gonna let this steal her from me. I have no idea what I am in for.

Has anyone else dealt with autism, it seems so vague based on the little I have read so far?

Praying for you! My daughter doesn't have Autism, but she has cerebral palsy and i know the pain of a scary diagnosis. I work as a service coordinator for KY's early intervention system so I work with a lot of families with children with Autism. There is a real urgency in intervening with Autism. Their are very good outcomes for Autism with early intervention. Check out the websites "Autism Speaks", and "TACA" (not sure what it stands for, but an excellent sight for Autism information. Is there a local support group? Try doing a web search or talking with your local schools, or the early intervention staff. You need to find people to work with your daughter who are experienced with helping children with Autism. They may be OT's speech therapists, behavioral psychologists, and maybe a combination of people working together. I will be praying that God places the right people in your path. You are not alone in dealing with Autism. (((hugs))))

Thanks kymommy

I went to autismspeaks website last night (and about 10 others), that's where I found all the red flags. There is a lot of information there. Kind of overwhelming, but at least I know where to begin, thank you.

I made an appointment for Sarah on the 30th this month.

Just saying it to the reception was hard "I need to have my daughter evaluated for autism..."

The more I watch my daughter's behavior today, the more I remember the red flags.

It's like she does something or doesn't do what would be considered normal and then a red flag is brought to my remembrance.

For example;

This morning I was calling her name, as ususal, and as ususal, no response from her...then like a banner before my eyes ...doesn't repond to name...appears to be deaf at times...

This has been my morning with everything with her so far.

It's like now I am just confirming the signs, symptoms and red flags in her behavior.

There's no question for me.

Now, I feel so bad for her, because she doesn't understand how to communicate, and she gets so frustrated, it breaks my heart. I'm just glad I know what's going on, so I can help her. So, I don't care if I end up babying her too much, I'm gonna find a way to help her express herself. I keep hugging her, that calms her a lot, she does like me to hold and hug her. At the very least, I'm glad that she likes that.

Thanks SupermansLady.

I appreciate that.

I'm praying for you and your princess, 2dinkers.

I took Sarah in for her evaluation. Autism isn't 100% ruled out, but her ped is leaning towards speech apraxia (sp). My ped has twin boys (like me), and both his boys had that condition. He says they are completely fine now ( I think his twins are about 10 now), just needed a lot of hard work and therapy.

Thank God!

She now says "up" and reaches up, when she wants to be picked up (and more importantly, she has retained it for about 4 days now), . She will be 2 next month and she has finally spoke her first official word that she uses in correct context.

I'm so relieved.

Thank you, to everyone for their prayers.

While I have a long road ahead, it's not a bad road.

Thank you again.