Conversations

Is it just me or do other Mum's have trouble making conversation to non-parents? I am not a snob by any means but a lot of the time when I am around DINKS (dual income no kids), I find it really hard to talk to them, like on completely different wavelengths and I don't want to be going on about my kids to them because I worry about boring them!

Luckily most people my age in churches have several children already so that is one of the best things about church is having people to identify with.

Also, I do follow world politics and feel a lot of issues are interesting to talk about, but that can tend to freak people out too!

[JoyLynn]

I'm sometimes concerned that they will feel like they can't relate and might feel badly. I try to keep the focus on them and ask a lot of questions. I like to make them feel special for where they are in their lives. They'll have kids when the time is right. Timing really varies from family to family. Also, you don't necessarily know if they've been "trying" or if their spouse doesn't want children. That could be a painful subject. I think it comes back to us all not judging someone else for where they are. You never really know what someone else has been through. Even what we "think" we know, we really don't. The heart is such a secret place.

(BTW, I know you're not judging anyone. I mean people judging people in general. There's too much of that in this world.)

Joy [welcomewave]

[Beck]

I'm totally the same way. It's like with kids, there's always something to talk about and you don't feel like you're boring them. There is one exception...my brother. He just got married and Kerisa (his wife) could be Kevin's sister, they have so much in common. Then, of course, me and my bro have everything in common, so we could talk for hours. But I find that a rare exception!

I know what you mean. Actually I haven't really heard from any of my friends since I became a SAHM. None of them have kids yet. We're just at totally different places in our lives now. They want to be out having fun and I want to be mummy. That makes it hard.

[Jx2]

I was the first of all my friends to get married and have kids, so I find we still have plenty to talk about as they are marrying and getting pregnant now!

I do find it easier to make new friends that are moms, though. I can still talk non-kid speak, but it doesn't come as easy as it used to.

[7thHeaven]

To me, it is harder, we are a young couple and not many younger couples in our church have children. So, it's kinda tough to find something in common to talk about.

[cjropher]

I find that when I stay at home with kids all day, that's what I have to talk about. I don't have a funny work story... well I do, but it's a funny kid story too. At first I stressed over it and thought that I was becoming boring but now I don't worry about it so much. Kids are a great conversation starter.

[BlessedMommy]

This is an interesting topic. I guess that things will probably change more for us after we have the baby. We got married and got pregnant right away, so we have friends that have been married much longer than us who don't have kids yet. I think that there's probably still things to talk about--since we were friends with them before we got married, but it might be interesting to see how things change when the little one comes.

[emilyrosejewel]

Being a SAHM I have gone to a get together or two and have felt like I didn't have much to say when everyone talked about their jobs, bosses, or work issues. I just try to find whatever I can relate to or just listen. It is hard though I have to admit sometimes with my child free friends to have a lot to talk about. My world is so filled with my son that I don't have much else going on to talk about.

[Godzgirl]

I was the first to get married and then have kids out of my friends. So for me it was the other way around, it was like they were the ones not really knowing what to say to me. We don't take much anymore and it kind of hurt that they had that attitude towards me but it's cool have made other friends that are moms to and i have you gals. 8) Although, like someone mentioned sometimes it's hard to meet new friends that have kids your age because i'm young and moms who have kids my age are usually years older than me so it's tough.

[Aalena]

I don't have children, but the issue is a topic that comes up a lot everywhere. Coming from the complete opposite side of this (we're the last in our families and friends to have children and most of the couples at church our age have children), we feel like those that have children leave us out. We were even told we weren't invited to a bday party for one of the kids because we don't have children. This was one of our close friends, too. so close to us that the boy is named after my dh. It hurts our feelings because we feel as if those with kids don't want to associate with us because we don't have any. Is somethine wrong with us becuase we don't have children? I just want to be a friend.

I think you can talk about anything. Talk about your kids. I don't mind hearing about your kids. I actually love it. They are your family and who you love. Even for those that are ttc (or other issues) wouldn't mind hearing some stories. I would just be considerate of their feelings.

So, what did you talk about before you had children? Try talking about those things. Tell me about your dh and how he's doing. How's his work going? If you work oustide the home, tell me how you're liking your job. Tell me updates on your close family. I'm interested in how your mom is feeling. Talk about your hobbies. Talk about whatever comes to your mind.

I think those that don't have children will feel gratefull that they don't feel like a 5th wheel. They'll feel like they're still a part of society.