Giving them responsibilities...

[momohnc]

Hi, could some of you please comment on the kinds of things that you ask of your 4 and 5 year olds, and that they do pretty often without being reminded over and over? You know how sometimes you wonder if you're expecting too much!
Hollie

[JoyLynn]

Hi, Hollie. My kids all needed constant reminding for most things at that age. I think that's totally normal. Kids need reminding for many, many years. When I would become frustrated with this from time to time, the Lord would remind me that that is my job. That's why kids need to stay home with mom and dad for so long. They do need that kind of guidance for longer than we remember, now that we're adults.

There is a difference between forgetting and just not wanting to obey, though. The second used to require a little age appropriate discipline at times. But not when they were just learning unless they were being defiant.

All that being said, my kids do lots around the house. For 4 and 5 year olds I would say that most chores you would do WITH them or be very close so you can help when they get stuck (so they don't get frustrated), and help them stay on task when they get distracted.

At that age my focus for them was their bodies, their space and their things. Ours were starting to make their own beds with help, getting dressed (I helped pick clothes out and got them out of the closet), brushing teeth, putting trash in the trash can, carrying their plates to the sink after a meal (unless it was really messy and would be tipped on the way), attempting to comb their hair, washing their faces, dirty clothes in hamper, putting toys away after each use, and they started to tie their own shoes, all with me overseeing and keeping them focused.

I may walk out of the room for a couple minutes at a time, but I would keep checking in on them. The longer you leave them the longer they have to get distracted and into something else, and that can be frustrating for you. I tried to be proactive and not reactive.

Our kids also LOVED helping me out around the house. I think all kids do. God made them that way. I did let them help me often, and I led them to believe they were actually helping. :D Little kids love the feather duster and the Swiffer! But, at 4 and 5, I didn't consider regular housework their responsiblilty. They also helped a bit with the pets. But, again, their chores revolved around taking care of themselves and their things.

That's how we've done it in our house. The older the kids get, the more they do. I like a really clean house so I've stayed consistent with the kids and that's helped a lot. Something that I've said to many of my friends is that kids (usually) won't commit to anything that you don't commit to. In other words, if the mommy lets something slide, we shouldn't expect the child to make it more important for themselves than we have made it. They won't commit to what we don't. That's an overgeneralization, but they do tend to model what is modeled for them.

Okay, that's the best I've got. I'm sure a lot of moms have some even better ideas.

Good luck, and stay relaxed in all of it cuz they do eventually get it.

Joy [welcomewave]

My kids help me unload the dishwasher (they are 3 and a half) But I instigate that and supervise... my DD also feeds the cat which a lot of the time she instigates herself when the cat comes inside, if not, I ask her too.
They enjoy helping but I have to agree at that age, they do need to be reminded... and supervised.

[AmyB]

My son feeds and waters the dog, vacuums, clears his dishes, makes his bed (sort of) and puts his clothes away. Some of it he does without prompting, but being so young, I have to remind him a lot of the time.

[Rach]

My son is 5 and he can sort of clean his room, put away laundry, he does much better when I break things down - for instance I will give his socks and undies and tell him to put them away. Then he will come back for the jammies, then for the rest of the clothes. He gets overwhelmed when you give him too big of a job. The best thing he does is pick everything up from the floor so I can vacuum. My back gets sore from all that bending down so he picks up the stuff. He puts it on the table or couch then I put it away.
He whines a lot so some days it's all we can do to make sure he does things like take a bath, brush teeth, get dressed, eat :lol:

[tobikay]

Its funny..I thought of this thread earlier today. I have to admit, I am the bad type of mommy who for the most part would just rather do it myself, know it is done right and forget it... :cry: I know I will regret this more and more as my kids get older (ds is 12 and I wish I had made him clean his room all along instead of "helping" him so much)...anyway, I asked my dd(just turned 4) to let the dogs out while I was doing dishes, laundry, vaccuming etc this morning (this involved opening a door and watching the dogs walk out into the backyard, then closing the door). She stomps accros the kitchen floor with her arms crossed on her chest saying "Why do I have to do EVERYTHING!".....I won't even go in to the rest of the conversation...leave it to say that I guess that acording to her, I have alot to learn.