When Time Out is Not Working!

[MomFromCanada]

Hi,
My dd is a little over 2 yo and she seems to be in the phase where she has verbal frustration and thus taking it out on others by screaming or hitting. I have not raised her to be like that, I can't figure out why she is doing it! We have used time outs, spanking, talking to her, etc., etc. She will joyfully go to time out and smile while sitting on it. How do I stop these behaviours? Right now I am working full time seasonally, so my sitters have been asking about this also. I feel bad I am not getting to spend more time with my dd and dh. I can't wait to be back home again with my dd. I miss her so much. Anyway - any suggestions on how we can correct these behaviours? Thanks for listening!

[RhysMom]

I have a two year old and I went through the same thing. For my dd is was her way of testing me. She had tried to fight punishments so she figured maybe if I thought it didn't bother her then I would give in. Stick to your guns. If she sits there for 10 minutes smiling it is better then 10 minutes of her screaming. She is just trying to determine WHAT she can do to push your buttons. KWIM?

I read the book The Strong Willed Child by Dr. Dobson and it opened my eyes to a lot!

Sara

[savedbygrace]

In my opinion, A child won't really change until they actually realize and understand what they are doing is wrong and they are sorry for it.
Sometimes dd does something wrong, and she doesn't want to say sorry or she has the wrong attitude and I have to spank her until she is truly sorry for what she did. I explain to her before her punishment that what she did is wrong and why. I make her tell it back to me. I ask her what the punishment is for doing something wrong. She tells me a spanking, I then go on to tell her that I love her but if I want her to learn what is right then she needs to learn that there are consequences. I spank once, and if she says I'm sorry, I then ask her what I'm sorry means. "I'm sorry means I won't do that again" She gives me a hug every time. I tell her I love her and that she is a good girl. And then we pray together.

I've been doing this since my dd was 2. I promise you she understands me. Now, you may not do the same thing, but I think it is a waste of time to do anything, if your dd is not sorry. She'll just continue to do it. Parenting is hard and it takes patience and time. I think that is why some parents just yell yell yell. Then they give in. They don't want to take the time to discipline correctly. Whatever you decide to do be consistent, and she needs to be sorry, and understand why she is sorry.

[PianoMama]

I am really creative when it comes to disciplining my 2yo ds. Make sure the punishment fits the crime. It's always something that really matters to him. Like if he throws a ball in the house, then I take away his ball. Mix it up a little, not the same thing each time. Hope things get better for you!

[Hopeinone]

I like the last persons post about being creative it's also called natural consequeces. One thing I notice you said in your post is that you have tried many things (spanking, Time out,...) I agree with the persons thoughts in the second post, your dd is probably testing you. When My son sits quietly and it doesn't seem to be having any ill effect I let him sit longer. Not until he's crying but just until he seems to not be enjoying time out so much. He has really learned that hitting his sister is absolutley unacceptable. TIME OUT WORKS! you don't need to spank.