too attached

[fleschca]

I am a stay at home mom with 3 & 1/2 yr old twins. They are so attached to me that when I take them to the park they won't even play unless I play with them. Most of the time I do, but I think they are a little too attached. I am home with them full time & can't afford any kind of pre-school. And all of a sudden, they are crying when I drop them off for Sunday school. Is there some one out there who has or is going thru this too & maybe could share some wisdom with me, because I am quite frustrated.

[RYLEES MOM]

I feel your pain. I have a 2 1/2 year old and she just started this about 1 month ago. She used to go to school and Sunday school fine. All of a sudden she won't leave my side and pitches a fit when we go to church. She also has started screaming when it is time to go to bed. I have to lay down with her and/or sleep with her too. I read last night in Parents magazine that between 2 and 3 they can regress. It said that it is normal because they have independence, but still need to feel safe. It doesn't help very much right now, because I am going crazy!!!! Mine has never been a self entertainer and now it is even worse. I don't know what to do about it either. I am no help for suggestions, just empathy! Let me know if you find anything that helps. I am open to anything. Good Luck.

[fleschca]

Thanks Rylee's mom for your reply. It is tough. It breaks my heart when I go to church & they through a fit and scream & cry, I feel bad to leave them like that & I also feel bad for the workers. I guess evetually they'll get it. I guess the main thing is just keep being consistant & reassuing them that you'll be back. It happens to me at bed/nap time too, not w/ my son but w/ my daughter. I have tried not to crawl in bed w/ them because once they go to bed, that's the only time my husband & I have together & I don't want that interferred with. I will keep you posted if I find out anything new. Thanks again & good luck & God bless to you!!

[savedbygrace]

Thanks Rylee's mom for your reply. It is tough. It breaks my heart when I go to church & they through a fit and scream & cry, I feel bad to leave them like that & I also feel bad for the workers. I guess evetually they'll get it. I guess the main thing is just keep being consistant & reassuing them that you'll be back. It happens to me at bed/nap time too, not w/ my son but w/ my daughter. I have tried not to crawl in bed w/ them because once they go to bed, that's the only time my husband & I have together & I don't want that interferred with. I will keep you posted if I find out anything new. Thanks again & good luck & God bless to you!!

My dd who is 3, is somewhat the same. She was a lot alot alot worse, so things have gotten better. How long do your kids scream when you leave them in the nursery? My dd did this but after about 3-4 minutes, she stopped. You are doing the right thing, be consistent, don't give in. At the park , my Abby will be shy, and not play if there are a lot of people that she doesn't know. But I am a more pushy or tough mom you could say. "go play or we're not gonna come here any more, so act like a big girl and go have fun." Sometimes I'll play with her for the first few minutes and then I say okay it time for me to go sit down, i'll be watching you.

I think with kids you just do things slowly. Play with them a little and then leave them for just a few minutes and come back. Next time, play a little with them and then leave for a few minutes longer than last time. And just keep increasing the time. Continue to reassure them that you'll be back.
I think sometimes it is harder on us than it is on the kids. Good luck, and I hope things get better for you.

[fleschca]

Thanks so much" saved by grace" for your input. I guess you feel like you're doing the right thing, you just need someone else to reassure you who knows exactly what you're going thru. I really appreciate what you said. The hardest part for me, I think is at church casue I'll drop them off & then how am I supposed to go in & worship when I am sick to my stomach. I know they calm down after a minute or two, but I feel bad for the teachers. I mean, the kids will literaly kick & scream. It even starts as we are walking down the hall to the class. And then I even feel emarrased. But I guess this is a season, like it or not, & it will pass. Thanks again for listening & your DD is beautiful.

[irishmum2boys]

From reading your post, I was wondering if maybe you could find some local moms playgroups in the area, where you would still be with your children, but the girls can have that social interaction with children their own age. That way they would get used to being around others, you would still be there and it would maybe give you a little break? Also MOP's is really good too, you can look at their website to see if any groups meet in your area! I take my boys to the park almost everyday, it has been also a good way for me to meet other moms!
I kind of have the other problem, where my boys like to run off! :lol: I wish you all the best though :)