Getting 1 yr old to sleep without crying

[BlessedMom]

My 13 month old daughter has been such a good baby. I just finished weaning her about 2 weeks ago. Well that's when it started. Every single time I try to put her to bed she cries, never for long, but it is so heartwrenching to hear it everytime I lay her down. You see, before, I nursed her to sleep. I know, probably not the best idea ever, but it was just the way we did things. Now every nap and every night she has to cry herself to sleep. I've tried reading her a bedtime store, rocking her, she refuses to relax. I've tried giving her a cup of water when I lay her down. And if I just let her go to sleep whenever she just passes out, we were up til midnight. So once again, I am asking you lovely ladies for your advice. Thank you so much. Be Blessed!

[JoyLynn]

It's so hard to hear your babies cry. :( But, unfortunately, it's necessary. She's learning to comfort herself. She needs to learn this at some point. I always prayed for my babies as I was laying them down, and I would tell them they were safe and in a wonderful place with Jesus and the angels. Then I would pray quietly as I left the room for the room to be filled with ministering angels, the Holy Spirit, and for my baby to feel the Lord's peace and presence. Then I'd leave and let them cry themselves out. Sometimes I'd say from the other room that I loved them and that I'd see them when they woke up. Then just let em go. It was hard, but they all learned.

Actually, they learned such an important thing. They learn "their space" is a great place to be. Good things happen when you're not there. Deep thinking, creativity, ideas... You should feel wonderful about letting her have "her time". It's a great thing when they get used to it. Btw, if your child feels that you're uncomfortable, her focus will be on you and hoping that you'll give in at some point, and she won't benefit from that time alone. Whereas, if she feels that you're secure and happy with her having alone time, she'll receive the message that it's a good thing and she'll embrace it faster and be more secure in it.

Good luck. I'll pray for you to get through this tough time. [prayer]


Joy [welcomewave]

[BlessedMom]

Thanks joylynn, what you said is very true. I know that we'll get through this tough time. Thanks for the prayers.

[Reneemomto5]

I am in just about the same situation as yourself. I have a 13 month old who is now just learning to put herself to sleep. I still nurse her, yes and I admit I nurse her to sleep. But when she is asleep I place her in her crib, and she cries herself back to sleep. Though not easy to hear, it hurts, I know she needs to learn this. But it doesn't help us mommies to hear them cry.

I just recently re-introduced the crib, she was sleeping in a regular bed, but she was having difficulty with night time wakings, she seemed unsettled. She seems to feel safer in her portable mesh crib I have her in again.

I have no solutions or advice, just wanted you to know your not alone. Though they may only cry 2 minutes its our babies and its hard, but it does help in the long run, I know it does I did it so many other times, but it doesn't make that any easier.

Hugs to you, hang in there, you and your daughter can do it!

With my first ds, I rocked him to sleep until he was too big!! Then we went to a regular bed and I layed down w/him until he went to sleep. Yes, bad idea I know...but he was my first and I just had to do it. He about 3 when I decided to wean him to going to sleep alone. IT WAS WORSE! He was old enough to get down from the bed alone and was always coming out of his room. With my ds now, who is also 13 mos, I have been letting him go to sleep on his own. It is SOOO hard to hear him crying, but you can distinguish their crys. Like when they really need you or something is wrong. I just try to let him cry it out (and I do the same most of the time! :cry: ) and pray that I have the strength to do it.

Hang in there, it will get better and you will be so happy you did it when your ds was little. It is so much harder when they get older.

[BlessedMommy]

I've heard of a book called, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Maybe that would give you some helpful hints?

[BlessedMom]

I'll have to check it out, thanks!

[emilyrosejewel]

Good luck, I agree with Joylynn especially. It really is good to let them learn to self soothe. It is a mark on their road toward healthy independence and also lets them know there are boundaries with you that you are setting-bedtime. I had to go through nights of crying, but it didn't last long and before I knew it Justice was going to sleep with me just putting him down. Good luck and keep us posted!

[Rach]

Renee! Your story is like mine, LOL

Bobert is 15 mo. and he had been sleeping with me in my bed, but he was still nursing several times at night, so I switched him to the pack and play in my room. He was still waking quite a bit so we put the pack and play in the playroom and he has been doing awesome. He knows when it's time to go to bed. Sometimes he gets fussy and sometimes not. Usually it's right around 9pm that he will go down to sleep. My dh usually holds him and they listen to music, kind of dancing. When he is really tired he will be alseep like that in 5 minutes. Sometimes it takes 15. Then he just goes into the porta crib and sleeps! We have a small quilt down over the pad and sheet to make it a bit softer. He also likes to have a pillow.

So, I would really try some music. Stories are great but not for all kids as a bedtime tool. My kids have always preferred music. Lullabies, celtic music, Jack Johnson, have all been big hits here.

[MomFromCanada]

I am trying to wean dd off the bottle, but what we did was we found out that letting her go to sleep while sucking on a bottle left milk in their mouths and caused tooth decay. (I wish I had have known that before!) Anyway. We tried then watching her movie (a short 20 minute thing) - Baby Faith - and giving her milk during the movie, then brushing her teeth and later singing and if she needed it, water in a bottle to go to sleep with. It has seemed to work for us. I know, we find it hard to let her cry too. If she does not go to sleep right away, we let her cry for 5 minutes and then go in and check on her and then another 10 minutes. Usually by the end of that 10 minutes she is asleep.

[tracy]

I love what Joy said. We put dd to bed awake. We have a little ritual so she knows what time it is. I think it is crucial for babies to learn to fall asleep on their own, maybe cuz I sometimes have difficulties falling asleep. I've also read about falling asleep w/milk. Lately, dd has been crying. I think it is mostly from her teething so sometimes we give her teething tablets before bed.

I completely agree with joylynn ! Unfortunately it is necesary. A bit of hard work and heartache (for you) NOW... pays off a LOT later and it is heart wrenching!! Just keep in mind crying has never been documented to have killed a child YET...

It won't go on forever... just remember in cases of prolonged crying CHECK ON HER!!! The only reason I say this is because when I HAD to leave DD crying so she would learn that bed time was bed time, sometimes she would keep going and then I would go down and check and she would have gotten a leg stuck in the cot perhaps thru trying to climb out????

She went off beautifully once she knew we weren't going to "pander" to her and let her have her way with regards to getting out of bed!!! It just takes a little time.

Don't be too hard on yourself about nursing the baby to sleep, you were only doing your best, it's not the end of the world and behaviour in children can always be corrected :D

It is very healthy for a child to learn to self comfort, I mean one day she will go off to school and you won't always be there to hold her you know? It's part of natural development!!

PS... my Mum has worked with very small children for 17 years and one thing she always told me with regards to littlies and bed and crying etc at bed time... is when the child does this - DO NOT make eye contact with them, even if you go in to lay them back down again, or reposition blankets when they are howling... no eye contact. It works!!!

I must sound so mean but I just found very quickly trying to be "nice" about it, like giving a story or... picking up just once, or playing a tape turns very quickly into "another story..." ... or "put the tape on again..."
and you NEVER get out of the room LOL, - hey I couldn't be Mummy nice, I had two 1 y.o to get off to bed LOL....

You will be so happy when the baby is finally asleep and you can relax reading a book, or catching up on your fav TV, or spending quality time with your spouse...