DH doesn't want to test anymore...

[KansasMom]

I can understand to a point where he is coming from...we have had alot of disappointment and I think he just doesn't want to get his hopes up and then have them crushed AGAIN... :cry:

Plus, he is VERY adimate that we will NOT tell ANYONE we are pregnant until 14 weeks :shock: and he thinks that if I test and get a BFP that I won't be able to keep the news to myself and then we'll have the embarasement and disappointment if anything happens or if it was false. :roll: He keeps saying, "It is all in God's hands anyway, we'll know if we are going to have a baby in 9 months!" I agree...God is the author and finisher of life...but I don't think HE could even wait 9 months to tell people!

I guess I just don't know how to handle it all. How can I not be excited if we are pregnant and how can I just sit by and wait for weeks on end not knowing? Yet, if AF doesn't show her head then I guess that should be evidence enough huh...I am trying to be understanding and respectful of his wishes but it is really hard to just sit and wonder all the time!!

Thanks for listening...I hope by sharing with you all I haven't broken any confidence with my dh...I just had to get it out to someone and I knew you'd ladies listen and pray. Thanks.

[jengrant]

I don't know if I will be any help here, but I didn't know if I could get pregnant. I have endometriosis and it can make you infertile. There were many times when I would pray and pray for a child and God was silent. I can't say we were really trying, but we weren't trying to stop it either. Finally God gave me peace that when it was the right time for our child to come he/she would come and if I wasn't supposed to have a child then I knew that was His will too. Well, a few months after I stopped worrying about it, guess what?? I found out I was pregnant. He's 2 now and there are days I would like another, but God keeps reminding me that this is His will and if He wants me to have another child, I will. Like I said, I don't know if this is any help, but I do know how you feel.

[4HisGlory]

DH and I had many similar discussions too. we finally came to an agreement that I could hpt if I bought them myself with my "allowance" That was fine with me since it did make me think a little more before I tested. Plus I stopped telling him "I think I am pg" but would just test when I felt I needed to and then let him know the results without any hoopla (sp) I don't know if that is an option for you guys or not, and we were the other way around when it came to telling people. dh couldn't wait, but I wanted to wait until the end of the 1st trimester.

[lvrofmusik]

I am not TTC. However, I wanted to share with you my story. We were married in March of 1998, and new immediately that we wanted children, we didn't use any form of birth control, and in January of 1999, I found out I was pregnant, we were so excited. The same day we found out we called everyone, we were so excited, that night I started bleeding and ending up having a miscarriage. I was so devastated, but God knows what he is doing. In March my husband was deployed to Haiti, on a peacekeeping mission. He was only going to be there for three months. It felt like forever for me. I moved back home with my mom, because all the friends I had made were going to different duty stations. I didn't want to be alone. In April I got a call from him and he had a seizure and they were med flighting him to Walter Reed in DC. So he ended up being diagnosed with Idiopathic Epilepsy. We were sent back to Ft. Bragg and we tried and I started going to therapy for depression. I was 19, with a miscarriage behind me and a husband with a severe disability. I really didn't know how to handle it. I was so depressed month after month nothing, I thought I would finally go in for testing, to see if there was something wrong with me or with him. Before I did, the Lord led me to read the story of Sarah. That changed my mind, I decided from that moment, that it's not in my control. It's up to God no matter what the doctors tell me. I have always believed if He wanted something to happen, it would happen. I believed that if I was meant to have children then I would. I decided that I would go back to school....and low and behold what do you think happened? I got pregnant. I don't think it was because I decided to go back to school, I think it was because I believed that God would decide. I was scared the whole pregnancy though. I ended up with Preclampsia, and the most beautiful baby boy, I was so happy, we thought he was our miracle baby, because it took us so long to get pregnant, almost 2 1/2 years. So we decided that we would be happy with this one little boy. Well about 8 or 9 weeks after I had this beautiful baby boy, I was pregnant again. (God reminded me that what he takes away he gives back) I just believe that he blessed me with two children because he took one away. I thought we would never have any more and we went through a really rough patch in our marriage, and almost divorced. God brought us back together, and one month after we were back together, we found out we were pregnant, I wasn't happy at first, I was scared and more scared. My husband wasn't working, just going to school, I was working, but my job had been the most of our problems. I was like God why is this happening? We might have had relations twice the month that I go pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old there wasn't much time ya know? sorry if TMI. It wasn't until my 3rd child was born did I realize that God knows what we need and when we need it. This baby made me a better mom to my other children. It made me realize how sweet and innocent and precious they are. I took them for granted a lot and resented my husband because I had to go to work and leave them with him and at daycare. Now, I am a stay at home mom with my priorities in order, and God is taking care of us all. HE IS SO GOOD!! YOUR DH IS RIGHT, GOD IS IN CONTROL. HE knows best, that's hard to accept sometimes, especially for me because I am controlling in certain ways, but God has taken a lot of that away too. I am sorry if I went on and on and on. I just wanted to share what God has done for me!!! I love Him, every day, even on bad days, I love Him.

Love and Blessings,
Cheri :)

[myjoyoverflows]

Cheri, thank you for sharing your story! We're not trying to conceive right now...but what you've said is really appreciated.

Bill and I got pregnant at the beginning on December...we were going to tell everyone on Christmas...but the next day had a miscarriage. We decided after that, with not knowing if we'd be able to get pregnant, and with not knowing if we'd have another miscarriage, that we'd wait to tell everyone until I was showing...

It's not easy to keep something so special to yourself. But maybe he has concerns about that and just doesn't want to have to tell everyone that you've miscarried after being pregnant (if that were to happen) because I can relate to that.

I probably haven't helped any.....sorry... :?

[KansasMom]

I appreciate all your responses.

I know that dh is worried about the miscarriage thing...for those that don't know, we had a blighted ovum and miscarried on January 31st. I am sure that is why he is being so timid and not wanting to get our hopes up...I think I just want to go to the doctor to make sure we aren't having another blighted ovum.

Honestly, I don't really want to tell people if we are pregnant either because I don't want to have to tell them differently if something were to happen but I would at least like to test for my own knowledge.

I guess that is the issue...I have a hard time just trusting that whether we are or aren't the issue is in God's hands and I can't do anything about it. I like to be in control and by knowing, that gives me control...just waiting around I'm not in control and I don't like that.

Wow...when you confess that and see it in writing...it really makes you think...

DH has agreed that if I go 8 weeks without a cycle I can test...mostly because that is longer then the longest cycle I have ever had...so I guess I need to work on trusting God and waiting...

Thanks for listening.