ttc problems and uncertainty in life

[imported_rachel]

Anyone else bummed out (sometimes) when ttc for #1 hasn't been easy; wondering where you're supposed to go in life if it doesn't work out?

I'm just looking for someone else who's also shrugging their shoulders, wondering what gives.

[savedbygrace]

Have you been to the doctor? I struggle because I don't know what the problem is. Is it just us having bad timing or is it just medical? I had one already so I'm thinking it is just bad timing. But there is what's called 2nd infertilty. Sometimes it makes it hard because you don't understand why it's not happening again.

But Rach, even though I don't know how it feels to not have one at all, I understand the frustration. If it isn't Gods will for you to have a child, then look into other options. Medical intervention, foster care to adoption, instate adoption, out of the country adoption.

Or maybe it is just learning to be content with the lot you are in. Php4:11
I'm sorry you're struggling. We all understand. (hugs)

[breezykc2]

Sometimes medical intervention is needed...I know some people don't believe in it...but I come from the camp that thinks that God provides his miracles through the blessings around us (like the joke that says the man asked God why he didn't save him and God answered that he'd sent him three different boats....sometimes God shows himself in the form of a doctor or medical procedure...)
...Or maybe he wants you to pursue other avenues if he lays this on your heart...it truly is a difficult time because your heart yearns for something so much that you're afraid that your ability to listen to God's will may be tainted....my personal prayer along the fertility journey (and we did almost all the fertility things available for number 1 for nearly 2 years!) was asking God to grant me the desires of my heart or to change the desire of my heart....
Prayers...it was one of the most difficult times in my life emotionally at times, but God WILL see you through!

[JoyLynn]

Rachel, I'm not there, obviously, but when I've read your (and others') ttc journey I've imagined what you're talking about a thousand times. I can imagine what it would be like to wonder if the door is permanenty shut or if it's a faith/patience thing. Not knowing which it is would be the hardest for me. I'd be wondering and begging the Lord to tell me if I should keep trying this door or move on and be open to a new vision. I can feel it, Rachel, and that makes it easy for me to remember to pray for you. I pray that the Lord leads you in a real and obvious way. I hate being in the dark more than anything else, I think.

I love you, Rachel. My heart is right there with you. [hug]

[lovesign]

Joy [welcomewave]

[imported_rachel]

I am planning on going to the doc about 3ish more rounds of good timing cycles. If they can do something for us, great. I will try to convince dh to get tested first, since his test is painless, and since b/c of his age he is more likely to have the 2nd problem.

If they can't do anything, I have no idea what to do with my life. I want to be a writer no matter what. 90% Chance I would adopt. It's $10,000 for a private adoption in Canada. I have no hang up on not being biologically related to my child. But at what age? I'd probably wait until I'm 35-40. (That's 10-15 years from now!) If dh wasn't around, and I'm not sure about adopting as a solo parent, maybe I'd eventually work with children in some capacity. I just have trouble conceiving the idea that I'm never going to be "mom" to anyone. My entire lifestyle is made for that role-- if it'd just happen.

[JoyLynn]

Just curious, Rach, but why do you want to wait so long to adopt?

[heart]

Joy [welcomewave]

[imported_rachel]

Money. To save for the adoption itself, and we may need to shuffle workwise to qualify, if they have a min. annual income requirement.

[JoyLynn]

That makes sense. Of course, God may choose to work faster, but I can see what you're saying. :D

[hug]

Joy [welcomewave]

[Israel]

Rachel, I felt the same way you did and me being 36 I was starting to feel the dream was slipping away at a fast pace. I still am not going to feel like it's happening until our baby is finally in my arms.

You are still so very young and have so much time to keep trying while you are waiting the 10 years to adopt. I do hope you look in to medical help if needed. I too believe medical intervention is a blessing.

Be sure you and DH are trying every month....cause the month you don't try could have been the one. That's what we did...we remained obedient in many ways in our life and even though it took quite a while, we finally got the BFP... and so will you. Keep the Faith.

Much Aloha.

[irishmum2boys]

I just wanted to share about a freind of mine who had been ttc for quite some time. She had been pregnant twice before, she miscarried her first and then had a healthy baby, they were trying for about 2 yrs to have another baby and it wasn't happening! When she finally went to her dr. she was told that she wasn't ovulating. I think she was put onto something to regulate her periods and within a very short period of time she conceived had a healthy baby and was pregnant agin about a year later :)

[mommyb]

So sorry you are going through this!

My dad tells a story of how he thought he and my mom weren't going to be able to have kids. He finally became content that if that was God's will then let it be done. He finally went to have a procedure done (it was their last option before adopting) and my mom got pregnant with me!

I'm not really sure what to say...I do think you should see the doc though in case there's something he can do. Keep us posted!

[believeNgrace]

Praying for you Rach. You've been so steadfast and patient on the Lord. I know the unanswered prayers are so painful. The long ttc journey truly plays havic on ones heart. I am praying peace for you, my dear sister.

[4HisGlory]

I am praying for you also. I agree that if the Lord leads your heart, that you should try medical intervention. Also if adoption is a option you and dh are thinnking of, I would at least start looking into it and talking to an agency to find out what the requirements are and such. Plus I wonder if there are grants or fee wavers out there. I really hope that you are able to become pg. on your own and soon, I know you have been on this journey for such a long time, and God has heard your prayers and knows your heart. I am praying for you, and praying you will hear God in a clear voice of the direction He wants you to go.

[stephwhiz]

We tried to conceive for a long time too. The doctors finally figured out what was wrong with me and put me on some meds that helped me to get pregnant. I miscarried that baby but went on to have 2 healthy children. Hang in there my friend. I remember how depressing every month was when I didn't get pregnant :cry: . God blessed us and I pray he will bless you guys too [hug] .

[luvmy4sons]

I am like Joy, Rachel. I haven't had your problem so maybe it makes my words of comfort ineffective. :? I just wanted you to know I CAN imagine how hard and heartbreaking it must be! I continue to pray for you! [pray] I hope you seek some medical intervention and I pray that it is a quick and easy answer that can be easily remedied! God SEES you. He knows your heart. "Be strong. Take heart and wait on the Lord." [hug] [heart] [prayer]