View Full Version : Being bugged about conception...
05-18-2007, 07:12 PM
Now that Maddy's almost a year old, I hear SOOO often,
"When are you going to have another?"
ESPECIALLY by my sister in law...she has two girls very close in age...and thinks that we should also...because Maddy needs a "play mate". Well, I'm working on losing weight...and once I lose about 50ish lbs, we're going to try again...but what am I supposed to say to these people? I generally just kinda shrug...but I keep on being pestered about it.....what should I say? :roll:
05-18-2007, 07:42 PM
Well you could say, "when my body recovers from the first one" or "when the timing is right (God's timing not ours)" and just leave it at that. Or turn the tables around on them and ask when they're going to have thier next one?
Try not to let peoples questions bother you too much. Most the time they are just being thoughtless and not considering how what they say may affect the other person.
well, my sister-in-law can't have any more kids...so that option is out...and SOOO many people think that your body is already recovered way before your baby is a year old.
Totally "when the timing is right" and "it's in God's hands" are great ones...I guess I just get stumped on words because I'm not expecting it. :roll:
Thanks so much...
05-18-2007, 09:34 PM
My answer is a little sarcastic but usually when I get bugged with repetitive questions that is how I reply. I would say something like "about nine months after we conceive". Or I would just say we're not planning on any more right now we are enjoying being parents of one for now. Or something to that effect.
05-19-2007, 07:36 AM
I am so sorry sweetie that you have to endure that! I never realized what a rude question that is. :shock: I used to be one of those horrible people who would ask it WAY back when.
There really is NO good answer to it. I can think of several rude replies that put people in their place. For the most part though, especially if they are family and friends, they mean no harm. "Boy that sure puts me on the spot, doesn't it?" is an honest answer that gets them thinking on their question to begin with. :?
I stopped asking that question when someone honestly replied to me that they were trying but were unable to conceive( fertility problems are higher among second pregnancies than first, believe it or not) I was very embarrassed and have never asked that question again! :(
05-19-2007, 10:32 AM
People ask me that all the time too! I just say I'm not planning on having any more right now, but I wasn't planning on having Timmy either. So God'll give us one if He wants us to have another one. And He knows the best timing for it.
05-19-2007, 09:44 PM
Besides don't they know your friends here at c-moms will know before anyone :lol: I'm just kidding, really joking. I hope you just took that in jest as it was meant. Hugs Chelsie
believe it or not, you all would know first (other than Bill)!! :lol:
Thanks everyone for your advice!!! :D
05-20-2007, 03:52 PM
My answer --to my MIL at least (she started asking when ds was barely 6 months old) was "are you going to come take care of us for the first few months?"....
They are going to continue to hound you no matter what you say. I guess a good answer would be "Whenever we decide we are ready to try".
05-20-2007, 03:57 PM
I still get asked that question and good grief I'm almost 40 and have 2 kids that are in school :shock: :lol: :lol: . I just laugh about it!
I do remember when Trent was around 1 and people started asking me that. I remember that I told them we wanted to enjoy him for a little while before having another one. That usually satisfied the asker.
05-20-2007, 06:25 PM
I don't know...I guess that it probably just gets me more than anything because we've been pregnant since we had Maddy...and now I'm working on getting healthier before we try to conceive again...because I don't think that it would be fair for my family, my body, and the baby that I'd be carrying, if we were to try right now...as much as I WANT to...I'm trying to push that aside and think of what's best for everyone.
Thanks for all your replies...
My friends all had their #2's right after their #1's and while we were ttc with no results for over 2 years. People at church would almost continually ask when we were going to have another and it was very painful. I would say "well, it's not from lack of trying on our part". After a while people let it go and stopped asking. I don't know if it was becuase I was very open about our struggles with ferility or if it's just cause it was taking so long and people lost interest. Maybe folks will just give up asking in another year or so :D Hmmmm, until then get a "pat answer", a fake smile, and time with God after to vent your frustration and plead for silence from well meaning people :wink: -ren
05-21-2007, 04:40 PM
This question always bugs me. I just feel like it isn't anyone's business but ours as a couple, something we pray about and decide together.
I've heard it quite often.
05-23-2007, 05:01 PM
I'm one of those that gets the opposite, "You're having ANOTHER ONE?! Haven't you figured out what causes THAT yet?!" Oy. :roll:
Yikes! I only have two and I still got looks and comments close to that because DH and I were broke broke broke when we accidently got pregnant with Gavin! I think the fact that I was so distraught over it threw the naysayers off gaurd and they turned around and comforted me instead! LOL. I was SO worried about what my MIL would say - and I called her and I told her that I was so worried and afraid and upset that I was pregnant... and she told me that it was in God's hands and I could handle it. She was my worst critic though with Kaylis... "you aren't ready" "you're so young" "you shouldn't..." "you'd better get on BC right after you have this one..."
I don't want to have anymore and I don't have a problem telling people that when they see my 2 and ask if I want 3. I just say "nope." :) I liked reading all your humorous responses though... I may have to use some of them!
05-24-2007, 07:03 AM
I'm with Jen here. I get the opposite. We've conceived almost back to back (DS was 7 months when we discovered #2 on the way and DD just turned 1 when we discovered #3) with all ours, so I get alot of "Gee, you're gonna have your hands full" or "You're having ANOTHER?!" "Thank God it's you and not me!" I DO thank God it is me. Although neither Chris nor I EVER planned on having children we also never stopped God if He chose to intervene.
Like others I would probably respond by saying, "If God blesses us again then we will have another but we are SO completely enjoying Maddy and all her accomplishments right now." Good luck to you! ~Kerri
06-28-2007, 03:49 PM
Not sure I actually have advice for you, but I totally know what you mean!! Our ds is 26 months and I work at our church. So, 300+ people claim to know me. Every Sunday I get the same question - when's the next one coming? I've gotten to the point where, "not for a while" and "we're not sure" are so boring. So, now I say, "SOOO many people are asking us that!" or "I'm sick of people asking me that!" Anyway, so...when are you having a 2nd child? :lol: JUST KIDDING!!
I've lost 38 pounds so far - my goal is 50 also! YOU CAN DO IT!!!