Is she old enough?

[buttercup_97140]

Is my 20 month old daughter old enough to mourn the loss of her brother? Not having any other siblings, how does she know that Noah was suppose to be at home with us?
She talks TO Noah all the time, she talks ABOUT Noah all the time, she knows the things that were his or that were given to us because of him. It's not what I expected. I know she had quite a long time "knowing" he was in my belly, but to know how things were suppose to turn out...it just amazes me. I think some of it may be that she is just off slightly because of me being away in the hospital, then having things weird at home after I left the hospital. We are and have been trying to make things as normal as possible, but we don't deny that Noah existed....

It's just different that I expected I guess! Who knows what I thought would happen, or if I even thought that far out.......

Blessings,
Amber

[MommaBear]

Oh Amber! :cry: I don't think she is too young. Kids are much more intuitive than adults (the World jades us alot). They are aware that "things" around them die (birds/animals on the roadside/bugs...) on some level. I think allowing her to talk about it (or to Noah) is her way of dealing with his loss too. Listening and respecting her view is great Amber. I'm not a grief counselor but I think what is going on is normal and you are handling it like the loving Mommy we all know you are. Blessings and continued prayers to you! ~Kerri

[breezykc2]

Worked in hospice....specialized in the children who lost family members for a year....No, she is not too young and I encourage you to answer all of her questions as simply as you can...One story I heard a Mom tell her toddler aged kids after losing a 5 day old baby was that when the baby was born and Jesus saw just how special they were and what special gifts that they had, that he needed the baby with him to help him in heaven and keep him close.

[RhysMom]

I know that when I was five my mother was pregnant and my brother was a stillbirth. I knew that he was suppose to come home from the hospital and live with us. Even though that is a lot older I don't think it is much different for your daughter. I really believe that children understand a lot more then what they can say verbally. If Noah had things at your house like a crib, clothes, diapers then she would know that he was coming home to live.

Did the hospital give you some sort of book to explain things to your DD? I know that Christian Book Distributors has some books about explaining infant death to small children.

Sara

[Blessed 2 B Zoey]

I am no good with this sort of situation but one thing that I was thinking was you could explain that Noah was too poorley for the doctors to fix him and Jesus decided that Noah would be happier helping him in his garden. You could tell her when she prays at night that she can talk to Noah in God's garden through her prayers, kinda like talking to someone on the phone type thing. I know when my DD asks me about my Gran that passed away a week after she was born, I tell her that nana was poorley and God took her to heaven and that she is smiling down on us from there. One other thing that I was thinking is giving you little girl a framed picture of Noah for her bedroom, that way she can see him when she goes to bed and talk to the picture, I will pray that God gives you the guidence that you need to help your DD.