Tantrum City

[momohnc]

Hi-this is not the first time I have been on here about my 4 yr old's behavior. Please, if anyone can give any suggestions or encouragement, send it on. We had another baby last Sept, and all in all she has done really well. I truly feel she loves her baby sister. She had another big change last April--we moved. And she started back MDO this February. I realize this is a lot for a child to deal with, but what do you do to help them thru it? Some days, everything is such a big deal to her, a source of something to fuss about. Sometimes she loses it...just a while ago it was over the fact that I wouldn't give her a bandaid for a tiny little scratch, which was probably not the true reason, there was probably a deeper issue. She wants attention, attention, and more, and sometimes I feel so drained by her. I have been trying to validate her feelings when she is upset while still being firm. She is also having trouble separating from me at MDO, but is doing better with this than she was. It is just so hard when you have to have some sort of battle or issue with every little thing throughout the day. I know I'm not the first to experience this. Please, couls someone let me know what you did to help your child thru big changes, and to help get control of tantrums???
Thanks
Hollie

[ChelleFish]

Sorry...MDO [whatthink]

[AmyB]

Ahhh, I think MDO stands for mother's day out.

[momohnc]

Yes...it's Mom's Day Out! :)
Hollie

[momohnc]

Hi--it's Hollie again. Please pray for us. I really don't know what to do. It feels like we are fighting a losing battle.

[stephwhiz]

I also have a 4 year old daughter. Mine will be 5 in July but the behavior you are describing about not wanting to be away from you for MDO sounds very familiar. When she started Pre-k last August she loved the first week of school and did not shed a tear but starting that next week she cried every morning for like 10 mintues each day when she left to go to school. It was awful! We decided it was best if I didn't tell her bye and that I loved her each morning and that is when she stopped crying for me. I knew if I took her out of Pre-k that I would just have to deal with this again when Kindergarten rolls around this year. It was hard, I cried many days after she let, but I think it has helped her alot because she had always been with me and was attached to me big time.

As for the tantrums, I have to say Autumn has only had a few of those before. When she has them I give her a firm talking to and either put her in timeout or take her favorite toy away from her. Sometimes I spank her for it. She does though sometimes act like a "drama queen" especially when she is tired and I address those in the same way. Usually with a warning and then with punishment if it happens again.

Good luck!

Stephanie

[momohnc]

Thanks for the response.. What do you all do if you feel like a lot of the time the tantrums are from another issue?(ie baby sister, moving,etc) It's like she's having a delayed reaction to it all. She whines and fusses and cries more than she used to, even like when she was two, my husband thought. She has to be getting some sort of payoff from these episodes for her to be doing them so much, and it is not that we are giving in all the time and giving her what she wants, because we are not. I think it's because she gets attention, even though it's negative. She'll take what she can get. Does it get better? I think the "terrible twos" are a way to pacify people going thru them, like "oh...after 2 it will all be ok." Hasn't been true for us. We're struggling.
Hollie :roll: