So, David and I have a custody agreement, he gets sam 3 hours 3 days a week and every holiday for 3 hours as well. Well, he has to work Halloween all day and wont be getting him, which is perfectly fine by me, more time with my little guy :)

Anyway, he said that it doesn't matter because Christians don't celebrate Halloween and because I am taking Sam along with my 2 neices trick or treating I am not a Christian nor am I raising our son the right way....

Halloween is no more than a Commerical Holiday for me and I was not aware that by me partaking in trick or treating (which btw we are only taking them to our neighbors and family/friends homes) was denoucing Christ....

What is some of you ladies input? Am I teaching Sam wrong or is David just being his usual I am better than everyone self?

It is your decision and he's trying to insert his control here again it sounds like!

Halloween is a controversial topic among Christians and you'll probably get a lot of different answers... but it's really how you feel in your heart, what you want for your kid, that matters!

I grew up in a very strict legalistic culture that didn't do Halloween at all, thought it was very evil, etc. Now that we're trying to figure out what our own convictions are, we're still not completely decided. We still won't take our boys trick or treating, but not for the same reasons some people don't... I just don't want my kids having that much candy and I feel uncomfortable with the concept of begging for it! I know it's a commercial holiday and most don't partake in the satanic side... so that's not really my issue, I just find it all a little creepy because I don't find anything beautiful in the holiday or the decorations at all! That being said, it's just my personal feeling on it :)

Other years, we've kept the lights off and closed all the curtains but this year I'm tempted to make up little packets of candy and insert scriptures or little inspirational stories... to try and reach the kids that come to our door. I don't think hiding out is the answer any more... we're still trying to figure it all out and you will too! Parenthood is just one big experiment, and with God's help we do the best we can.

Hugs to you Krystalia, I know you can make the right choices that fit you and your son... and no one can take that away from you!!

Indeed, very controversial. A decision you have to prayerfully come to on your own.

We've been on the side of "avoid it and everything hinting of it". Now we are on the side of "it's not that big of a deal" and don't think you're going to hell because you 'celebrate'. Now if you're into the dark side of the 'holiday' then you need to do a check ;) But simply having fun, dressing up, being involved in your community, finding a way to share Christ through it, then great! Enjoy! KWIM?

*You* have to do your own searching and come to your own decision.

I'm sorry this is causing conflict for you right now though. :(

my perspective. He's being a jerk about things. If you dress up your kid and take them trick or treating, what are the chances of your kid becoming satanic? What is the difference between dressing your kid up and taking them trunk or treating at church or going to a strangers house to get it? I don't let my kids dress up as witches or goblins. But I do let them dress up. Abby is Daphnie from scooby, Joe is Iron man, and Ellie is a bee. I would let them do this any day of the week. There are paganistic things about Christmas and Easter. That is just my perspective. I respect others decisions to not do anything halloween, but don't say you're not a Christian because you do...

I agree with the other ladies here. Halloween has been a controversial topic for quite some time but in the end as long as you are having some family time with him I don't see a problem.

David has been controlling from the start and this just seems like another avenue he is going to take to control the situation. If you have joint legal custody then what you do with Sam when it is your time to have him (provided it is nothing criminal) is perfectly fine from a legal standpoint.

Our children participate in trunk or treat and other activities in the church. We also do some trick or treating on Halloween but we end pretty early and I don't allow my kiddos to do anything scary.

Sara

The halloween topic comes around every year around this time. We do allow the boys to trick-or-treat. They do not dress up in scary costumes and I end up throwing away most of the candy. It's just the fun of it for my boys and they like going around the neighborhood with our next door neighbors. As the other ladies said it's a decision to pray about and decide what's best for you.

Thank you ladies. I received an email from David's mom this morning with 3 articles on why Christians do not celebrate Halloween.. one off this site even... makes me wonder if she is cyber stalking me :)

Anyway I will pray over it and come to my final conculsion.

We didn't allow our kids to trick-or-treat or attend Halloween parties at school. Some years we handed out tracts with candy and some years we turned off the lights. I think my views have changed, though. I don't see harm in kids dressing up in non-creepy outfits and trick-or-treating as long as parents are being responsible and going with their kids. Our little granddaughter is going as "The Pumpkin Fairy". :)

Now, as far as David...I never like to hear that "you aren't a Christian" statement. Arrgh! The argument of "Christians don't do" could be turned on David as well, I'm sure. But that isn't the point.

Do you have some kind of agreement with David as far as how you raise Sam? Do you have sole custody with David only having visitation rights? Eventually, Sam is going to become aware of differences and you should be thinking about that. You don't want David undermining you. Or is this sort of an agreement that if David has Sam on Halloween he doesn't go trick-or-treating, but if you have him, he does? I think you would have to iron this out in some kind of way. [heart]

Even if someone decides to not celebrate any holidays of pagan origin or to just avoid or reno Halloween because of some of the cultural themes of it, there are much worse things: Prov 6: 16 ..things the LORD hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
17 haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19 a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

Treat or treat isn't a big deal up here. Occultism is though. Dressing up and getting candy is a bit of a non-issue, personally. And I don't feel right saying "my way or the highway" on convictions over holidays. The big deal for me would be age approriate information about the occult and raising kids to be leaders so that if they are at a party (most likely this time of year) and someone wants to "play" by contacting the dead or witchcraft, they know what God's word says about those things and also have the confidence to say no. I remember this happening in 6th or 7th grade, my mom wouldn't let me go to the party as someone else's mom warned her this sort of thing was likely. In 8th one participant started hearing voices saying all her friends would die... don't know how it turned out for her since I left that school. No idea if anyone else at that party got obsessed with the occult. But for some it's very seductive and the prevalence this time of year makes involvement more likely to start. Dressing up as a hobo never had that effect on me ;).

Rachel, your last statement made me smile :smile:

Madre,

I have sole custody and David has visitations however he has joint legal custody meaning he can make decisions about school and medical issues. Relgion is not included.

So, yes as far as religion and holidays goes our agreement says if he is with David, he does things his way, when he is with me, he does them mine. I want Sam to be able to make his own choices in life so I am doing my best (granted he is only 6 months) to teach him the way of the Bible and one day for him to have the courage to make his own mind up about what he believes. Unlike his father who seems to only know what his parents believe. I want him to be his own man of God one day.

David takes him to Bible Study on Wednesdays (makes me cringe) BUT they are good to him thus far and I teach him about love and forgiveness and he goes to Church with me on Sundays. So, prayerfully Sam will be okay and be able to find his own way.

Basing it off of what you've mentioned previously of David and his family history, I don't really think that the actual holiday of Halloween has all that much to do with what David said to you.

It sounds like it's another excuse for him to try to emotionally manipulate you and to get his family in on more of the same.

As Sam grows older, perhaps he and you will have to have discussions about parenting and how to support and respect the decisions that the other one makes while Sam is being cared for.

I agree with Sara, unless you're doing something that's illegal or dangerous, he needs to back off. (and so does his family!)

It sounds like it's another excuse for him to try to emotionally manipulate you and to get his family in on more of the same.

This. x10.

We don't do Halloween because we don't think it honors God, but like others have said that's not the issue here. If David wants to talk about honoring God, him and his family have way bigger problems than some trick or treatin'. JMO. Keep your heart right towards the Lord. Things go wrong when we start depending on our own righteousness instead of depending on the blood of Jesus. So don't worry about what you are doing, listen to the Lord, read the Word and just do what He says (and ignore what anyone else says a christian 'should' or should not be doing... if the Lord hasn't told you it's highly likely you would be doing it in vain anyway. God will sanctify you in HIS time.)

This. x10.

We don't do Halloween because we don't think it honors God, but like others have said that's not the issue here. If David wants to talk about honoring God, him and his family have way bigger problems than some trick or treatin'. JMO. Keep your heart right towards the Lord. Things go wrong when we start depending on our own righteousness instead of depending on the blood of Jesus. So don't worry about what you are doing, listen to the Lord, read the Word and just do what He says (and ignore what anyone else says a christian 'should' or should not be doing... if the Lord hasn't told you it's highly likely you would be doing it in vain anyway. God will sanctify you in HIS time.)

I couldn't have said it better myself... that was my first thought too! WE don't do Halloween either (in Mexico pretty much if you are a Christian you just don't do Halloween... no questions asked... and we do not celebrate the day of the dead either like traditional costumes say we "should" and we even get bad grades in school for not participating in history/civic activities around it all) anyway... the thing is not how we here feel about halloween but the issue is David... he seems very concerned about what God thinks in regards to trick or treating while he shows everything BUT godliness in the way he deals with his responsibilities and the people he should care about... I bet this would all be much easier and you would take his opinion in consideration if he was a MAN of GOD and showed it... If he had stood up to his family for you and his son! it's sad to see how we can all be "very Christian" about little things and forget about God in the BIG THINGS... sad... just sad... Hopefully you pray about this, find out for yourself about Halloween and what you want your kid to believe/do about it and do things out of obedience to God... not to please or angry David.

Praying for you! Big Hugs!

Paloma.

it's sad to see how we can all be "very Christian" about little things and forget about God in the BIG THINGS... sad... just sad...

THIS. The greatest lesson Christians could ever learn!

I agree what all the ladies have said on here, I think its your own decision between you and God

*my* personal *opinion* on how we raise our boys is we dont do halloween at all, I know where it originates and even though I know the US have sugar coated it some and made it not so bad their are still countries like UK(well where a good friend lives at least in her area) that they still keep it to the original pagan ways, as in following the whole rules of trick or treating and not the way we do here by just knock on the door and when it opens say trick or treat, over there she says its more evil(in her area dont know about all of uk) but anyways my husband and I have prayed about it and decided not to do halloween but I know lots of churches in my area are very supportive of halloween(we just dont attend those times), they have fall festivals where you dress up and go to the church on halloween, they have trunk or treating so in my area its really rare to see christians or churches not participate in halloween, we are considered very weird for not participating lol