I was at a kids birthday party yesterday and my almost 10 month old was standing at the back door watching the bigger kids play outside. One of the other moms was heading for the door to take her daughter outside so I started over to pick him up out of the way (at this point he wasn't bothering anyone). She reached him first, grabbed him around one wrist, picked him up and swung him out of her way. Fortunately, I had gotten there at the same time and grabbed him mid swing but it ticked me off to no end because she could have dislocated his shoulder. At the time I didn't say anything because it was a kids party and the mom was the birthday boy's sister. Now I'm wishing I had though. Especially after noticing that she did it to her own kids a couple of times. Even her 3 year old.

What would you say in this situation? I'm sure at some point I'll have to deal with her again. Especially since she's the sister of my kids' best friends.

Sheesh! Some people just don't think! Why would she grab someone elses kid by one arm like that? Were her hands full? Was she in a rush? Not that either would be an excuse, I'd just maybe be a little more understanding if there were special circumstances. I know I have moved my kids out of the way in unconventional ways before, I usually scoop under the waste or grab the back of their shirt though, and that's under special circumstances.. like there was a near emergency or something and I had a baby in my arms. But I wouldn't do that with someone elses kid or under normal circumstances, and by one arm?

Wwid though? I'd probably let it go until another encounter. It may have just been an isolated incident where she wasn't thinking. If another situation arises where she shows disregard and little care for your or someone elses child I'd probably speak up but with a simple gentle statement. I don't know what I'd say though.. I stink at that. I usually say too little or too much and wish I said something different in hindsight. I seem to never say the right thing, lol.

I don't know what I'd say though.. I stink at that. I usually say too little or too much and wish I said something different in hindsight. I seem to never say the right thing, lol.


Ditto to everything Ashlee said... and especially the above. That's me... I either let it go and fume... or I explode and then feel absolutely horrible. [sadashamed]

There is a right way to confront someone like that... and I haven't seemed to master that yet.... :???:

I sure hope if there *is* a next ecounter, that you have just-the-right-words. Hopefully though... it won't happen again. Who knows... maybe she was just having an extremely bad day and was out of it?? (again, not an excuse, but...) We can hope.

Yeeaahh... that's tough. I think I'd just be watchful any time she was around. Like Jen and Ash said... If there is a next time, then say something. But *what* to say is the problem. :/ Every suggestion I think of seems to somehow imply she wouldn't know it can be hurtful. Maybe she doesn't??

I dont say anything to people, I have a hard time to speak up for myself, but since she does it to her kids I dont think she meant anything ugly by it nor did she see that she did anything wrong or thought that she would offend you, I am guilty of lifting my child by one arm, not by the wrist though, because a lot of times i have my hands full, such as going down the steps at my house (like 4 steps) my hands are normally full and I hold my son arm and help him down(basically carry him by one arm :/ becuase he normally trips and I got him by his arm) but I dont swing them by one arm, not something so stressful, so I dont think she thought that she would hurt him, I would just be quick to jump when she is around so it wont happen again, or just politely saying something with a big smile "oh I dont like picking them up by one arm, I am always afraid I might hurt their little shoulder" and then laugh, and that should politely let her know in a not so awkward way that you dont like it :)

i prob would said something...and regretted it later.But coming from someone who had my own shoulder dislocated by my daughter who was 8 at the time it is a very dangerous thing to do. And a very painful thing as well.

Was she doing it in a playful way or more like your in my way kind of thing? "I would probably say is there a problem here?" Then say that "I was worried that something might be wrong since you moved my daughter/son that way.
Since it is dangerous and might dislocate her arm."

Was she doing it in a playful way or more like your in my way kind of thing?

She acted like he was inconveniencing her. But I can honestly say that the last few times I've seen her she's been a rude and selfish. Sad since she's also a pastor's wife, but that is beside the point. It's nothing new for her to have an attitude.

I have a problem with speaking up too. I will either say nothing or the wrong thing. I know I'm going to have to face her again. I know I'm not going to look forward to that.

Sarah, If it happens again I would definately have to say something polite-ish, but straight to the point. When it comes to my kids, and especially babies, even when a mother/father is doing something to their own kid like that, I really struggle not to say something.

If it happened again something like 'You do not need to touch my child, if you want him moved say something and I will gladly move him'. She will probably respond with something like 'He's in my way.' or accuse me of something, and Id just repeat even more boldly that I wish her to never put her hands on my child again! I did this in a situation where someone, a grown man, shouted at my son and he tried to defend himself and say it didnt happen the way my kids (and other witnesses) said it happened. I just repeated over and over that he was NEVER to attepmt to discipline my children EVER. Thats the only point I wanted to get across. If this woman has a habit of doing stuff like this, I wouldnt worry too much about making an enemy out of her like this. Id be as polite as poss, but making it clear she is NEVER TO TOUCH YOUR CHILD AGAIN.


Thats me tho. For now, Id say let it go and also avoid situations where it could happen again. It may never happen again, you hope. lol.

Oh well if she was already in a frustrated rude attitude then yes its wrong to "toss" someone elses kid out of the way, if its something you will probably eventually have to deal with her on then I would think of something polite to say to her, so that you will be prepared if there is a next time :)

I I would just be quick to jump when she is around so it wont happen again, or just politely saying something with a big smile "oh I dont like picking them up by one arm, I am always afraid I might hurt their little shoulder" and then laugh, and that should politely let her know in a not so awkward way that you dont like it :)

I wish I could think up these comments when I'm in the situation rather than later. I think this would be a good comeback. Polite yet gets the point across. Fortunately I don't have to see her again until October but fingers crossed that next meeting goes better.

Oh these are things I normally think of after the fact lol I can never think of something to say when it happens lol :)