baby sleeps for my mom not me

[stevied]

(Okay Im sure you all are sick of sleep questions... sorry!)

Grace is 11 months and hasnt slept through the night yet, it is so bad she wakes up every 2 hours like a newborn, I feed her change her rock her... The problem is I am pregnant again and this pregnancy is so bad. Im so sick and tired I can barely do this with Grace anymore, she is driving me utterly crazy.

Well, I thought maybe she had a sleep disorder then I visited my mom for the week. My mom took her put her to sleep with in ten minutes (it literally takes me 30- one hour!) and she slept through the night 7pm-7am!!! A few nights she woke up at 3am with a wet diaper, but she went right back to slept for my mom!!! I am so discouraged, I took her home last night and she woke up at 9, 11, 3, 4, 5, and 6am... I am worn out yet again. It is so bad I dont even want this new baby, and that is an aweful feeling to have as a mother... please help ladies if you know what to do with this child! thanks -Stephanie

[stephwhiz]

Those grandmothers have that special touch, don't they :) ? My dd did not sleep through the night until I stopped nursing her at 9 months. I remember how tired I was all of the time and just to be honest, that wasn't any fun at all! Does she sleep with you? If so is there anyway you can put her to sleep in another room? Maybe she is just a light sleeper and every little noise is waking her up.

I would sit down and make a list of her surroundings at your mother's house where she slept almost all night verses the surroundings at your house. Maybe there is something that is waking her up even though most babies are sound sleepers, everyone is different. Do you think that maybe she is not getting enough to eat during the day and therefore is having to wake up at night to get the extra food she wants? That is just a thought because I know that when I stopped nursing dd and started her on formula, she ate more solids as well and was fuller so I think that helped her to sleep through the night.

I'll be praying for you because I know how tired you are. God bless and just remember that every baby is different and just because she is not a good sleeper doesn't mean your new baby will be.

[luvmy4sons]

I was pregnant with number two working full time 12 night shift as an L&D nurse and had a 1 year old who awoke about every hour through the night. I SO understand. :shock: If I may be so bold...maybe dd knows she can manipulate you :?: At that age I am not so sure it is a deliberate conscious thing, but something she has learned over time: I cry and immediately mommy comes. I cry and grandma doesn't immediately come and I eventually put myself to sleep.

Well, at least it was that way for us. I put my son through the controlled crying program. I developed a routine for bed. Did the same thing each night. A bath, a story, cuddling in the chair with a bottle( number one took a bottle about 16 months, longer than any of the others who were on a cup by 1 yr) make him sleepy, but put him down awake!

After I put him in his crib, I NEVER, got him out again. If he cried I didn't immediately go in. Always waited at least 5 minutes ( unless the cry seemed to be alarming as if he were injured or something, but it never was that way) Then I would go in, tell him I love him, make sure he was okay, pat him on the head and tell him it was time to sleep and leave. IT WAS SO HARD TO DO! But I was so tired and ready. Next time he cried I waited 8 minutes...once again NEVER picking him up. Next time I waited 12....then 15....then 18...then 20...Never longer than 20. The first night it took us three hours! We got up to 20 mnutes and had to go in every 20 minutes and eventually he learned to comfort himself and put himself to sleep. :)

It took us 3 nights. By the fourth night I put him in bed, told him I loved him, good night...he did a little whimpering 10 minutes in and we never heard from him again till morning. :D

That's my story anyway. :? Hope you find your answer. I know how hard it can be. When you don't get enough sleep it colors your world gray...and things are so much more overwhelming. Love and hugs. :)

[stevied]

Thank you both so much for replying so fast!!! I can not imagine having to working a 12 hour shift pregnant after nights like these! Wow I am amazed you held up!

Okay so I am at the end of my rope it happened again last night... she was up, up, up! uggggh. We decided to try the crying method. Which like most moms I was trying to avoid. I made a list of the differences between mom's home and mine... The biggest difference is she lives in sunny Florida and we are stuck up here in PA! We just moved up here, so maybe the cold weather is part of the problem.


She had been sleeping in our bed and nursing alllllll night since she was born. We have her on a bottle now as of two weeks, and slowly weaning her to her crib. After staying with my mom I saw that she could sleep in her crib alone all night, so since we've been home I wont put her in bed with us. I felt a little guilty about this because these attachment parenting books I was following say to do all of this stuff like co sleeping, but it is not working for me (my husband left the bed months ago for the livingroom because he couldnt manage at work)... Then even if she was in our bed she woke up crying several times a night and wants me to walk around patting her on the back and nursing her, until I am a zombie.

So anyway here goes, tonight is the night, I have her in the crib now. I am just gritting my teeth wondering when she is going to pop up and I am going to go in there and tell her good night and leave... I will let you know how this goes...

thanks again for the wonderful advice and support and prayers!!!

[stevied]

Horray!!! She is sleeping through the night (for the most part)! Last night she slept 7-7am and only woke up at 10pm with a dirty diaper. I let her cry the first night for 5 minutes, it killed me, then 8 mins, and then 12 mins, and she was out cold. We only had to do this a few times. I can not believe it was this easy. To think I actually thought teaching her to sleep on her own was inhumane. I will tell you what is bad, having a baby that wakes up every hour and a pregnant mom rocking her back to sleep and getting 4 hours sleep everynight. The whole family is sooo much happier.

She loves sleeping in her own bed too. I liked the family bed idea, but honestly she wasnt comfortable with all of the body heat and the matress making her roll into me or her daddy. She needs her own quite room. During the first week of sleep training her, my DH's family showed up in town for a visit, putting baby and us all in the same room. She couldn't sleep with us in there, she was up every hour! I was so glad when they left, she went back on the program and slept through the night right away!

ANYWAY THANKS!!!! Thanks for taking the time to help!
-Stephanie

[luvmy4sons]

[claploud] [cheer] Yea! So glad to hear it! [clapping] [dance] Way to go Mom! Good job! [highfive] [girlsmiley]