OK we go swimming at the public pool and they have a tot pool which is shallow & warmer for the tiny kids who can't go in the big pool. There is a big bucket of toys for everybody (i mean like REALLY big bucket, like it is prolly 2 1/2 feet wide and goes up right below my chest.) So anyhow I go get the saucer floater thing for katherine so she can float and play in the water without me having to hold her constantly, and I go dig out some appropriate toys for her, a lobster and 2 rubber ducks

So there are these older kids in the pool and while I was holding katherine they 1) take away the saucer (like what are you going to do with a baby saucer? You are too big for it!) and later brings it back after his mom explains he is too big for it (uh, nothing about stealing it from me? it was RIGHT next to me i was obviously using it) and THEN the kid comes back to me while I am playing with the lobster/ rubber duckies and takes one of the rubber ducks, TOTALLY invading my space and katherine was TOTALLY playing with it, it was floating next to her and she was hitting it and the lobster.

I had NO CLUE what to say to this kid. I mean what he did was really rude, he could easily have gotten out of the pool and gotten his own toys, as there are plenty, but he decides to take them out from under my nose?? His mom didn't say ANYTHING about it except to drop the duck because it was time to get out of the pool when he grabbed it - nothing about not taking toys from babies. The boy looked to be 3-4 and he doesn't know not to take things other ppl are using?!

How would you handle this situation? It made me totally uncomfortable and a little upset, since it was really rude and his mom should have directed him to return it, say he was sorry, and go get his own toys but did she? NO! What is WRONG with parents??

Then there were these obnoxious older kids (way too old for the tot pool) that decided they would throw balls at each other FROM the tot pool to the big pool, and one of them nearly hit katherine as they were throwing them over the area where the babies/toddlers were! The lifeguard got onto them about it since there were babies around and told them to take it to the big pool so they wouldn't hit a little kid, but, i mean, where are these kids parents and why would they act like that in the first place??? no common sense!!

argh! Anyhow we are NEVER going swimming on friday again because too many ppl.... we are going to stick with wednesdays when usually there are only 1-3 other families there.

I think this would be a situation in which I would just have to be 'bold' and rude myself.

"Excuse me! My daughter was playing with that"
"Uh, no! Not a good idea, this pool is for babies, you need to go to the big pool"

And if they don't obey you, ask where their parent is. Go find the parent and confront them. At the very least, the parent will be embarrassed and will likely tell the children to stay away from you for *that* reason. Whether the other issues are touched on or not...at least mom would probably say to stay away from you. Sure, she may call you rude in her head or to her children. Oh well. Frankly, *I* wouldn't care. Let her get mad at me.

I would *definitely* speak up to the children though. I've said before, it has taken me a while to get like this. I would just sit back, flabbergasted that someone would allow such behavior from their child. And get all disgusted with the parent. It does no good. I learned that, well, it's obvious the parent isn't going to do anything about it, if it's at this point to where the child would do such in the first place, the child is *not* being taught otherwise at home, so, well, someone needs to. So, if a child offends me or otherwise does something wrong in front of me, I will mention it to the child.

I have found that *most* children, even still today, no matter how *bad* or messed up, will be in such shock that a stranger *calmly* (sternly, but not 'fly off the handle' yelling) confronted them on something...they'll stop and very often, will even apologize. Then steer clear of you the rest of the day hehe

Aack!! I just saw your siggy!

Sorry if I missed the announcement elsewhere...I've not been online much lately and just got 'here' this morning....

Awww
Woohoo! Congratulations :D

I would address the other kids as well, "Sorry, my daughter was playing with that." As far as the big kids that don't belong in the tot pool, isn't there a life guard that you could talk to? Even our kiddie pools here have a life guard on duty. If not, perhaps you could make the management aware.

This is one of those deals where it's really hard to push down your "pride" and speak up. I have had similar problems, and have also said nothing. But you have to think about your child, and the protection of you child, ESPECIALLY with people throwing things, and especially in the water...that, and as our children grow older, if we don't start standing up for what's right, we're going to show them that it's okay to be taken advantage of, that it's okay to be walked all over. And that's not right. It's a great thing to share, but what happened wasn't sharing. I have to start taking charge myself when it comes to my daughter being protected, I hate it to be honest, but I know that it's better for her, and will also be in the end. I hope that this all makes sense.

Dh has a photo series where he and his cousin are in a shallow pool. The cousin has a toy boat in one shot, and in the next shot dh has the boat and the cousin is in a big fuss, eyes winced, mouth shrieking..

moral: avoid pools

I hope it goes better next time, with less people.

I would have said something to the boy. I have no qualms about speaking to other kids when my children are being harmed or treated unfairly. I haven't experienced it at a pool, only at the park, but it's basically the same scenario. And I also don't get these parents that don't pay attention to their children. It really irks me when I see big kids playing on the toddler play structure when my dd is on there (she's 2). I tell them they're too big for this area and need to move. I have never had a kid back talk me and usually if the parent gets wind of it they are apologetic and embarrassed.

I would have been just as rude and if parents were upset, well, the could just as well GET OVER IT.

but according to DH I would be gettin' to "redneck" if I done that (cheese, being from the lonestar, you know what I mean, LOL)

but seriously, I would have said something. Not sure what though[/quote]

I never used to be able to take a stand in situations like that. Then one day I saw a kid who was probably 4-5 years old and Kaylis was about 3-4, anyway I watched this kid fall off a ladder on the playground then get up, dust himself off and walk right over to Kaylis and pinch her cheeks - hard too, I could tell he did it really hard. I was so stunned I just sat there and she came over to me with tears welling up in her eyes until she reached me and they started falling down. I went home that day feeling like a failure, that I couldn't stand up for my own kid, even against a 5 year old! I vowed never to leave her to fend for herself like that again, and I haven't.
Now I have NO problem telling any kid for any reason, parent present and attentive or not, to knock it off. A few times I'll get a snotty look from a parent - but, their kids ALWAYS listen to me and stop doing whatever the offending thing is. So I would have told the older kids off big time and told them to take thier ball throwing to the bigger pool with the bigger kids (and to be honest, if I was in the bigger pool I would still tell them to knock it off ;)!) As far as for the little kids, I wouldn't be so brass towards them, but I would firmly tell them that they need to give the toy back, my daughter was playing with it. And you better believe that if they didn't I would go after them and demand again. Usually with a little kid they'll listen to you. I wouldn't automatically assume the 4 year old was "stealing" though. I mean, he is only 4! My 5 year old still does bone headed things without thinking or realizing what she's doing. So I would treat it like he didn't know he was taking "her" toy (or your saucer). And if it was something she wasn't really playing with then I would tell her "oh well" and use that as an opportunity to teach her how to graciously give things up that may be in our possesion, but we are really not using.

Ohmigosh, Cheeseburger! I had no clue you're expecting! Congratulations!!! [balloonsgalore]

Now, on with my answer... I would totally stand up for Katherine. She's a baby; she can't do it for herself. But be warned, lol. I was at the movies and a kid was seated behind me who kept kicking my seat. I calmly told him/her (couldn't tell because "it" had a hat on and unisex clothes) to stop kicking me. No parent in sight, and the little snot had the Terve to kick my chair even harder. *That* got my dander up, and since there was no usher in sight, I said, very loudly, "I asked you to not kick me!"

And, oooh, man, that kid's mom came out of nowhere, cussing me out for getting on to her kid. Threatened me. Can you say psycho? I went directly to the manager, had the mother kicked out (she left her kid (kids?) alone in the theatre). No wonder the kid was being so rude. Seriously, look at the mom!

I'd say, if the mother is anywhere nearby, do what Tara suggested. If the mother doesn't seem to care, tell the lifeguard that you're not feeling very safe with all the older kids in the baby pool or with the kids playing catch between the baby pool and the big pool.

Sorry I haven't replied sooner. I've been pretty busy.

Thanks for all the advice. I will *try* to stand up for Katherine... I was just surprised that the kid's mother who was right there and saw the whole thing took absolutely no action!!

This is something I have issues with because I don't want to usurp the parent's authority, but, I don't want my kid abused either.

So thank you for all the replies and advice... next time i'll try to speak up and not be pushed around... it's silly to be intimidated by a 3 or 5 year old anyway! LOL