My almost 12 yr. old continues to take food and hide it in his bed. It's not like we don't feed the kid but we don't allow them to take food without asking and we don't allow food in their bed. This is not the first time we've had this issue - last two times we have had this issue we've told him no snacks or desserts for a week (that meant no pie over Thanksgiving too). In fact he just got the snack/dessert restriction lifted on Thursday? so 3 days ago!!! During that time the only time he could have snack foods was with his school lunch because what else are you going to pack but since that offense was with potato chips he was not allowed to have any potato chips for the week (other snack items but only for school lunch none at any other time). Oh and tonight he's telling me (when I caught him) "I'm sorry, it was an accident" ????????????????? WHAT?????????? taking food and putting it in your bed is NO accident because you had to take the food, go to your room, climb up to your bed to put it there - you don't do that by accident!!!!!!!!!!!!! aurgh!!!! Anyone else ever deal with this type of thing?? How do you handle it? Seem to need something stricter? that will work, I don't know. He also likes to stick his fingers into anything that's on the counter so we have to put things up or make sure he's not in/near the kitchen when no one is around to watch! It's really old since he'll be 12 next week - when is he going to learn responsibility, respect, etc.???

Janell

Sorry, quick here....

Possible growth spurt. Have a talk with him, find out if he is *truly* hungry or just eating to have a snack/taste something. We have this with our now 13 yr old as well...started 11-12-ish.

We made sure we had healthy options available for snacking. Told him if he's *hungry* late at night, or whatever, ok, simply choose a good food. If you're getting cookies/candy, you're busted and will receive consequences. But if honestly hungry, just choose a healthy food, sit down and eat it. (aka don't flaunt/brag to the others)

But yes, of course, deal with the lying issue you have at hand...food ending up in your room is no "accident".

Yes, it gets old. Ours has 'reverted' as well. Recently back to sneaking sweet snacks. Our stand by consequence for that is a week with no treats. And if it was *really* bad (like an entire bowl of halloween candy!) no fruit either. Oatmeal/eggs for breakfast, done. 2 sandwiches at lunch. What's served at supper. My kids love fruit and eat it at least twice a day. Forbidding even the fruit was the only thing I could think of to 'one up' the usual consequence. I was thinking..if you're going to sneak this stuff because you're 'hungry' let's see how 'hungry' you think you are not getting that extra bit of food you normally would get. (and made sure the kitchen was cleared of all sweets and he was not allowed anywhere there were sweets...my room was the 'safe'..bathroom is through my room..that meant I would escort to the bathroom...real fun for a 13 yr old I'm sure)

Anywho, we're just coming out of that so I'm not sure yet how well that has worked. He's just now allowed fruit and snacks again. I'll post back if it was an epic fail ;)

If our kids want something to eat - they have to ask first - he didn't ask for anything tonight. Sometimes they'll ask for something to eat just about the time I finish cleaning up from supper - it's like come on - we just had supper, the kitchen is about to close for the night (I wish). ;o) When they do finish supper - we ask them "are you sure you're done" - fill up on supper food; not snacks, etc., you know? So I don't think he's not getting enough to eat - just he doesn't always want another helping of dinner and if he doesn't then well that's his tough luck because he needs to get good food; not just snacks. We even had ice cream tonight - guess he figured since he had that tonight he could go a week without desserts so stole the food. He's always stuck fingers in food - forever! Who knows - maybe he thought if he asked that we would say no so decided not to ask at all - possibility but it was still wrong.

Janell

Ours have to ask too. And we rarely have snacks/dessert. Like...hardly ever. But if ours didn't eat their supper well, they won't be allowed other food later, should they ask, though, rarely does anyone.

My Eldest is generally good about eating what's for supper. He will honestly pay attention to if he's hungry and will take a second helping when warranted. Even if it's something he doesn't especially like, he eats a fair portion.

My 9 yr old on the other hand..he's my sneaky one. He'll pick around then say he's full. Then ask for a snack later or sneak something. He gets busted. Things get cracked down as I mentioned above.

Just talk to your son. Expect him to answer in an adult-like manner. Not saying he will...but just talk to him in a way, expressing that that is what you expect from him. Not an 'I don't know' or 'it was an accident' or whatever but an honest answer...are you sneaking food because you are honestly hungry or just because you wanted to eat that? Then talk about supper habits...well I noticed you didn't have seconds at supper, in fact, barely ate your first helping, if you'd eaten a better supper you wouldn't have felt the need for more later, you know you need to eat what is served, when it is served.

(and, yeah, some kids do seem to go through a bit of 'easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission' phase)

We didn't make our kids ask for food (in general). But...I always kept extra boxes of cereal and snacks in a particular closet. If I put everything out at once, it would be gone (like a swarm of locusts had come through). So, they had to ask for the closet stuff. :-D

My question would be if there's something going on in his life that would be causing him stress? fear? discomfort? You know... the whole emotional eating thing.

I know boys can have a big appetite but the stealing/hiding food *can* be a symptom of other things?

Also, I don't know if I agree with taking away foods because it might add to the food compulsion by making it a punishment... ya know?
Instead maybe add an extra chore or take away something fun... like TV or video games...

I mean... I don't know what I'm talking about because my kids are still so young... but those are just the thoughts that popped into my head.

I totally understand the worry of taking away other food. I *did* think about that with mine too...but it seemed the right consequence for this one, this time. Not so sure about my 9 yr old. ;)

But I *totally* get what you're saying there.

Oh ya, I know that you totally know what works for consequences in each situation... and every kid is different.

I guess I just meant that if it seems like the hiding/sneaking food was because of some sort of change that's causing this behaviour... or discomfort... or emotional pain etc... not to punish with taking away food or rewarding with food.

Again, like I said... I really don't know what I'm talking about here... but I just thought I'd throw the whole "emotional eating" thing out there.

Oh no no, I thank you for pointing that out. That could have been a completely WRONG idea for one kid had the advice been blindly taken. Thank you for mentioning it. As soon as I read your comment I was like..oh, yeah, der, my own 9 yr old *smacks head* I just had my 13 yr old stuck in my head because he was my most recent culprit and close to the 'offending child's' age :p

We have taken away computer, video, tv, etc. which used to really affect him - he thought that was the worst thing ever but now it doesn't seem to affect him anymore so needed a new consequence. The other week - he stole/hid food, stuck fingers in food, oh he also likes to pick at food (on counter or table), I'm sure there were a few other things he did - lost all desserts, tv, video, computer and couldn't be in the room when someone else was watching tv/video or doing computer. He tends to hover if someone is doing computer.

I don't think it's an emotional thing but who knows.

Janell

My 5.5 year old constantly steals food. She hides in her closet to eat it too. Still haven't figured out anything that particularly works for her though. Can't take away something that's not there to begin with. We only do dessert on holidays mostly. Snacks are harder since they are above the stove. I want to put out a bowl of fruit and healthy snacks for them but the problem is that they would have it eaten in a matter of hours. They are supposed to ask if they are hungry. Right now the big infraction occurs in the morning. They will sometimes get up while I'm upstairs nursing before it's time to get up and sneak ice cream, bread, or whatever into their room and eat it. So the only thing I know to do right now is tell them that that was their breakfast. Too bad so sad. Hate doing that though and they don't seem to be learning anything from it. I do say they because whatever the 5 yr old does the 4 yr old copies. *sigh*

My 5.5 year old constantly steals food. She hides in her closet to eat it too. Still haven't figured out anything that particularly works for her though. Can't take away something that's not there to begin with. We only do dessert on holidays mostly. Snacks are harder since they are above the stove. I want to put out a bowl of fruit and healthy snacks for them but the problem is that they would have it eaten in a matter of hours. They are supposed to ask if they are hungry. Right now the big infraction occurs in the morning. They will sometimes get up while I'm upstairs nursing before it's time to get up and sneak ice cream, bread, or whatever into their room and eat it. So the only thing I know to do right now is tell them that that was their breakfast. Too bad so sad. Hate doing that though and they don't seem to be learning anything from it. I do say they because whatever the 5 yr old does the 4 yr old copies. *sigh*

Hmmm . . . I wonder if saying NO food in the bedrooms would help any? Ours usually has to stay in the kitchen although occasionally they are allowed to have it in the living room while watching tv/video. I have problem with them taking to basement and doing computer because then the snack dish doesn't come back up to the kitchen!

Janell