I'm throwing this out there for suggestions. We're having some issues with Alanna and sleep. She has developed (always had??) a tendency to wake after an hour or so of sleep. During the day this has meant many short naps. With older kids to run to and fro, this hasn't bothered me. Now, though, it has transferred into night time sleep. It's making the first few hours of her night miserable. She's not waking because she is hungry...she's just waking. I think she is teething, but even the night I caved and gave her some meds she still woke like this. I need to help her break this pattern/bad habit. Any ideas? Anything aside from having her in our bed/bedroom is welcome. (I'm not opposed to that in general, but we're headed out of the window of time where that works for us. Dh and I *need* our bedroom back!)

Natalia does this sometimes... and it gets worse if I don't "nip it in the bud" right away... for me (being pregnant and all) it's become 'easier' to just let her sleep with us... but I realize that she is not as comfortable (even when she loves it) and we aren't either... (I wake up with her foot on my face or something like that) ....

So... what I do (and works for me) is that every time she wakes up I don't take her out of her bedroom (no matter how much she -and I- want to) ... I go talk to her, tell her it's time to sleep, make sure she is not cold or too warm, wet or thirsty, and hold her on my lap for a little bit (pray with her, sing a little bit very softly) and she says "Good night" on her own when she realizes "we are not going anywhere" .... this takes 1 or 2 nights (tops) of dealing with it several times during the night... she gives up when she doesn't get what she wants (which is taking her to our bedroom) ... Others might tell you to try letting her cry... It doesn't work for me... just because I truly can't stand hearing her cry (I'd rather have her sleep with us) ... I don't think crying will hurt her... it's not that... I just CAN'T (I'd rather have someone pulling my hair than hear her cry) ... That's why I don't let her cry it out in the night (I let her sometimes cry when it's time to go to bed and she doesn't want to... if I am awake, her crying doesn't drive me too crazy) ... As moms we know when they cry for attention or when they are really needing something, if she really needs something then of course I won't let her cry.... but if she just want to get "her way" then that's not going to happen...

So, anyway... I wrote too much and my point is to just go see her every time she wakes up, and basically follow the "go to bed" routine again (without giving up and taking her with you to your bedroom)

I hope you find a solution that works best for u!

Hugs!

Paloma.

She has developed (always had??) a tendency to wake after an hour or so of sleep. During the day this has meant many short naps. With older kids to run to and fro, this hasn't bothered me. Now, though, it has transferred into night time sleep. It's making the first few hours of her night miserable.

Remember when we discussed in the other thread that DD will only nap in the Moby or with me holding her or napping with her? Still there... so I can really relate to the "many short naps," because if I put her down, she always wakes up within a certain time period following. So far, her night time sleep has been great... but I so hope she does not follow this pattern!

We've also been dealing with some reflux, which I now think was related to some bf'ding issues that I think we're resolving. So I have not even been able to attempt to lay her down still awake at night. Well, since those issues have been getting better, I figured I would try it tonight since she woke up after I had her asleep (holding her) and took her paci out. She didn't fuss... "struggled" a little (swaddled), probably trying to get her arms out, even though she sleeps so much better swaddled. I pat her on her side/arm some. After maybe about 5-10 minutes, she went to sleep! I hope we can continue with that since she's reaching the point where she is sleeping for longer stretches the first time I put her down especially (sometimes 7+ hours).

So ... no suggestions but just wanted to say I know how you feel. It is hard dealing with sleep challenges! We have definitely BTDT with DS, but he was not this young/little so it was a little different.

Thanks for your replies. :)

Paloma, that's pretty much what we do with the older kids. But with Alanna being only 4.5 months old, we haven't established anything yet. And at the moment, she is still in a bassinet in our room at night. (We're about ready to move her into Fiona's room, but would like to try to solve the worst of this issue before moving her.) Maybe we just need to consider doing some sleep training with her, I don't know.

I'm throwing this out there for suggestions. We're having some issues with Alanna and sleep. She has developed (always had??) a tendency to wake after an hour or so of sleep. During the day this has meant many short naps. With older kids to run to and fro, this hasn't bothered me. Now, though, it has transferred into night time sleep. It's making the first few hours of her night miserable. She's not waking because she is hungry...she's just waking. I think she is teething, but even the night I caved and gave her some meds she still woke like this. I need to help her break this pattern/bad habit. Any ideas? Anything aside from having her in our bed/bedroom is welcome. (I'm not opposed to that in general, but we're headed out of the window of time where that works for us. Dh and I *need* our bedroom back!)

Wow, Kim, I could totally have posted this!!! I'm listening for any answers as well. BUT. I do let him into our bed but try to only do that after 4 am because he used to not sleep AT ALL if I put him in the crib.


So... what I do (and works for me) is that every time she wakes up I don't take her out of her bedroom (no matter how much she -and I- want to) ... I go talk to her, tell her it's time to sleep, make sure she is not cold or too warm, wet or thirsty, and hold her on my lap for a little bit (pray with her, sing a little bit very softly) and she says "Good night" on her own when she realizes "we are not going anywhere"

Love this, Paloma!

I agree with Paloma - I do this when my kids are 18 months or older. For bubs I am all for self-settling (otherwise known as controlled crying). However, this has never worked for Hayley (all bubs are different - my others would cry 10 mins then go to sleep, Hayley would cry all night if we let her[whatwacko]).
With Hayley we try to do what the book 'Safe Sleep Space' suggests:
If they wake/ or when you are putting them down to sleep, have a night time routine ie; after checking nappy etc, wrap, say good night and kiss, then put in cot and pat until the cry becomes only a grizzle then leave. If bub starts to cry louder go back in and pat again (in silence) until just a grizzle, then leave again. The idea is to teach them to go to sleep when in bed, but to also let them know that you are there and will be there if they really need you, but that you are not going to feed them, play with them etc.

I used to be really big on the 'control crying', never let them sleep with you etc, but Hayley has been teaching me that it doesn't always work. She has slept with us for the first 2 months, and ever since being in her cot we only once tried the controlled crying - but she cried horribly (with us resettling her every 10-15 mins) right up until midnight! So we gave in and decided she was one of those bubs it will not work with. She is now my first baby to not be sleeping through from 4 months old :( Still hardly sleeps through.

Thanks for your replies. :)

Paloma, that's pretty much what we do with the older kids. But with Alanna being only 4.5 months old, we haven't established anything yet. And at the moment, she is still in a bassinet in our room at night. (We're about ready to move her into Fiona's room, but would like to try to solve the worst of this issue before moving her.) Maybe we just need to consider doing some sleep training with her, I don't know.

I am crazy then!!! LOL!

I totally forgot about that! well... I think Natalia would sleep with me if she cried then...

I get all confused with the ages ... LOL!.... and I was thinking about a toddler... not such a little baby... we started letting Natalia cry for a little bit after 8 months I think....

so.. never mind my first post


[whatwacko]

Thanks Margi and Kristy.... ;) .... yes, that works for older kids ;) [lovewuvu]

Paloma.

I am a mother whos first child did not sleep through the night until 18 months, slept with us because she woud NEVER stay asleep, and I would have to spend SO much time getting her to sleep at night!
With #2 we were up in bed when she was a month and a half, Dh was working nights and I was losing it. We had a HUGE room upstairs that we all had beds in, so I had #1 come into bed with me...and put #2 into her crib after I knew she was fed, dry, and well. I did the cry it out with her...and I know that 6 weeks is early for this, but I was getting to the point of breaking and HAD to do something. So, I let her cry, and every 5 min would go to her, touch her, talk to her and love her. I never picked her up during this time, and was literally only 5 feet from her and would try to soothe her with my voice during the 5 min. stretched. She cried for about an hour all the while I went to her every 5 min. She finally got to the "really intense" crying, so I picked her up, nursed her again, and laid her back down...said good night, made sure she was well and she went right to sleep. This kid has sleep well ever since.
It is HARD to let a child cry it out, but if we remember that crying is their talking, if we are RIGHT there to soothe them, to make sure they are ok, and let them know we are there but not give in to picking them up...it won't hurt them. That one night of crying saved me. It was so stressful and hard, but it had to be done...and I praise the Lord every day for giving me the strength to make it through that night.

I plan on letting the twins cry it out if needed...but we will have to see how they are. I also think that Emma was the way she was because we gave in...I think she needed me to be more HARD CORE with her because she had a hard will to break...but she was our first, and we learned a lot!!

I think sometimes we have to look at ourselves and see what we possibly are doing or not doing to cause our kids to have these behaviors. Yes, some children are harder than others, some sleep better than others, we are all different, but we as parents also have soft hearts for our kids. Sometimes its hard to see that we are letting them get away with things an then wonder why it's so hard...KWIM? I struggle with that too....and I don't have even close to ALL the answers, but I had a good experience with this situation, and hope it works for us again!!

I hope you all can find something that works....and if you decide to do something that is hard, I pray for strength for the time it takes!!

Blessings,
Amber

Sorry for the late reply. My computer has been flipping out on me.

I highly recommend the book On Becoming Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. Just about everything he says makes complete sense and actually works. I didn't discover it until my 5th baby was 4 months old. It worked for him and the 6th baby. Both learned to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own with very little crying. It has a lot to do with a routine during the day of eat, play, sleep.

o wow...I'm so glad you posted this Kim! I see this pattern starting in my daughter already. It's not a problem at this point...she always falls asleep again on her own (or at least 90% of the time) and she doesn't cry as along as she has her pacifier. But I can see that this could be a problem later on. She's actually not as bad during the day as she is at night...I'm not sure why? I keep thinking if I could just keep her up later it might not take her an hour to settle down but she doesn't want to stay up either because she's tired. Gotta love trying to figure this all out. Hopefully you can find something that works and you & your dh can have your *space* back...I'm one of those ppl too and am looking forward to the day that dd sleeps in her own room:) In some ways its nice having her in the cradle...but yeah, it'll be nice to have our room back too:)