My daughter is 16 months old and I still breast feed her. We are going to go see my in-laws this weekend and we have not seen them since Christmas. They know I still nurse but they are open with not knowing why I choose to still nurse. My husband and I are both wanting me to continue until at least 18 months. They just don't understand the importance of wanting to continue. I am nurvous about going there for the weekend and any words of encouragement would be wonderful.

First of all...Hello from Nebraska. I just noticed that we are both from the same state. Second, I would suggest that you discuss with your husband the importance of maintaining a positive attitude regarding your choice to breastfeed. Maybe the two of you could come up with a signal or a special look and if the situation comes up he could give you the signal or the special wink and then you know that he is there to encourage you and support you.

Sara

Thank you Sarah. That is a great idea. We have talked about it and we know the inportance of our belief. I am so excited to know someone else from Nebraska is a Christian Mommies too! We will actually be in Omaha this weekend helping the in-laws move. We also lived there for 5 years. God is so Awesome. Thanks for the help!

If your dd hasn't self-weaned, then she still needs that nursing relationship for one reason or another. I personally believe that babies instinctively know whether they need the continued nutrition of breastmilk. Also, many babies need it for comfort and to feel close to Mommy.

I recently read that people don't balk when they see a 2-year-old with a bottle. What's up with the double standard about breastfeeding?

So if you're questioned, you might simply smile and say, "I'm just meeting her needs."

HTH. :)

I guess I am too rude, I just tell people that they had the chance to choose what they did with their kid's upbringing, and now that we are the parents, we get to choose for our children. Usually that stops them. I use this when my Mom tries to tell me what to name our child.
If your family responds well to medical info, maybe print out info on what the American Pediatric Association says about bfing for two years or so. And if it goes too hard or annoying, simply tell them that you are uncomfortable with their questioning your choices as a parent, and that you hope they would respect a choice you and Dh made...hopefully after careful prayer.

I think it's sad that people are so quick to judge extended breastfeeding. PTL I have only had good comments so far. It's just how it's going to be for our family (Dd is 17+ months and still bfeeds often even though I am pg and hardly produce anything). I am VERY open, not in your face about it, but not ashamed to tell my friends who ask that I would bfeed Dd until she was about three if she wanted too.

I pray your trip doesn't go "sour milk " :lol: on you! Just hold your head high and be "proud" that you are doing what's best for your child!!

Amber

I guess I am too rude, I just tell people that they had the chance to choose what they did with their kid's upbringing, and now that we are the parents, we get to choose for our children. Usually that stops them. I use this when my Mom tries to tell me what to name our child.


You're great buttercup! :D I don't have any real advice just hugs. I really want to nurse forever with this next baby but, my mom and sister don't agree with that past a certian age (like 1 year old) so, I'm dreading the condemnation from my choices. But, like buttercup says, it's our turn to do it our way!! neener, neener, neener=) -ren

I'm sorry you're getting negative comments from them. One way you might approach it is that you want what's best for their grandchild and continuing to provide the perfect nutrition is what is best for her. I'm sure they want her to be happy and healthy, use that to your advantage and let them know that by continuing to nurse her she is going to only get happier and healthier.

Pray for their minds to open and be receptive, not closed and negative. The Lord will open their hearts and minds if you ask Him. At the same time, praying for Him to help you not feel hurt or upset if they choose to continue their comments. It's important to not harden your heart against them, even though it's easy to do when you feel they are hurting you and doubting you as the mother of their grandchild.

The other thing is that it's wonderful your husband is so supportive of you. That's a great gift! Let him know that you need "backup" when in this situation. I wish I could be there to give you a big supportive hug myself but know that even this weekend, when you are kind of dreading going, God is with you and you have is support no matter what. His love and support is so much more than I could ever attempt to give you (I'm sure you know that already :D )

Pray about it and go without apprehension to enjoy the time being spent with your family. [heart]

I'm sorry you are being questioned for your choices as a mother. I don't have anything else to offer, I know it can hurt to be in that position. I hope things go smoothly for your family this weekend. Let us know how it goes. Congrats also on continuing to bf this long.

I guess I am too rude, I just tell people that they had the chance to choose what they did with their kid's upbringing, and now that we are the parents, we get to choose for our children. Usually that stops them. I use this when my Mom tries to tell me what to name our child.


You're great buttercup! :D I don't have any real advice just hugs. I really want to nurse forever with this next baby but, my mom and sister don't agree with that past a certian age (like 1 year old) so, I'm dreading the condemnation from my choices. But, like buttercup says, it's our turn to do it our way!! neener, neener, neener=) -ren

First of all to buttercup: I don't think that's rude at all, as long as it's spoken with the right tone.

Second to Ren: I totally understand your situation. My own family is cool with my choices, but my SIL doesn't get my "crunchiness" and I always feel like I have to watch what I say about her b/c if she doesn't understand something I do or don't do I inevitably get a rude comment.

Ironically, my own family live 950 miles away in Minnesota and my SIL lives just a couple suburbs away and attends the same church we do. I think that's God's way of trying to get me to grow in my love walk. :roll: :lol:

Everyone thinks they know what is best for your child, but remember you are the mother and you are doing what YOU know is best for your child. I agree with Sara about a mutual sign for support because unfortunatly no matter what you say to your in-laws, they are going to think what they want. As long as you have the support of your husband, that is really all you need. I pray you will be at ease during your visit.

You've already been given plenty of good advice so I'll just share that I know what you're going through. I've nursed all four of mine with doubting in-laws. The first DK past 12 months, the last two past 19 months, and I am currently BF my 9-month-old. Even though I've had FOUR BF babies, they still don't seem to understand the decision. :roll: I just smile and nurse them anyway.

You are doing a great job with your DD. Keep up the good work and hold your head high--you are giving her your best! You are in my prayers for the stressful weekend coming. Who knows, maybe they have gotten over it and you will really enjoy your visit. Good luck!

I want to say to go with your instincts no matter the IL's opinion. With my 1st ds I let my parents & dh pressure me into going cold turkey when he turned 12 mths... :shock: very bad idea. My parent's are uncomfortable with breastfeeding period and especially with boys. So they are always on me to stop after like 6 months :shock: I think that they're missing the train on the whole breast feeding thing. Anywho... I was saying to go with your instinct. I know for a fact that my ds has some serious emotional problems because of the cold turkey thing and after I weaned him that way, he got really sick and has never been able to get a normal weight gain since. He's under-weight. :cry: Really wish that I'd have followed my instinct on this. My dd self weaned at 11 mths... she just decided that she was finished with the breast and went on to whole milk. Now with ds #2, I'm definitely going to let him decide and go with my instincts! :)

I just wanted to say some studys show that you should bf until 2 years old. I actually bf until Timmy was 19 months. But even if you can't convince anyone else your doing the right thing, you are. Whats important is sticking to you ans your hubbys decision.

You could always just squirt 'em in the face with breatsmilk :lol: Just teasing! Seriously though, back in our parents' day i really don't think it was known just how benefitial BM is past 6 months, so they probably just don't get it. If they are willing to listen to what is known today about BM, great. If not, then there's really nothing you can do except let it roll off.