Birth Doula

[EvaS]

Have any of you ever hired a birth doula? If so, what was your experience like? Did it make things easier? I'm really considering hiring a doula this time around. I had complications with Abby and ended up with a c-section last time. I think if I would've had a doula things might have been different. Anyway, I'm gonna give a vbac a go this time and am wanting to hire a doula so that I lessen my chances of having a section again. DH said it was ok for me to get one if I wanted. There is only 1 in our town and she is a trainee doula, which is perfect bcuz we wouldn't be able to afford the other one. So for those of you that have had a doula, when do you contact them? I was thinking I should definately wait until after the first scan at 12 weeks just to make sure baby is ok. Any help on this would be great!

[gamommyto4girls]

I hired a doula for the birth of my third child because, like you, I was trying for a VBAC and thought I could use a little extra support. The doula that I had was great. I contacted her about half way through my pregnancyand we had two pre- birth visits. The first one was more like an interview with both sides asking lots of questions about expectations, etc. The second one was about 8 weeks before and we went over my "birth plan" in detail. She also checked in with by phone weekly and gave me instructions about how to conact her etc. She arrived at the hospital about half-way through my labor. See what her scheduling requirements are and ask how many patients she has and if there are any other doulas that can cover for her. You don't want to count on someone who can't make it. My Doula was wonderful but did have a small child of her own and had a hard time getting child care that day.
I did not end up with a VBAC after all as this baby ended up breech and could not be turned. After lots of pleading with docs I did get permission for her to be in OR for c-section and I am so glad I did. Once baby was out my DH left the OR to follow her (she had wet lungs and it was a bit scary) the doula stayed right with me until the recovery room. I loved having that support!!! My doula also kept notes during the labor/birth. She is kind enough to write a "birth story" for each family. Even if yours doesn't do that if she kept notes it could help you do your own if desired. I find that DH and I get caught up in the moment and forget those small, precious details. She then came for at least one post-partum visit to check in with mom and baby, make sure breast feeding was going well, and deliver the birth story. As far as payment we gave her a deposit (about 25%) when she came for the second pre-birth visit and then the remainder at the post partum visit. This seemed like a fair system.
Sorry to be so long winded but as you can tell I'm a great fan of doulas. I even entertained the thought of getting the training myself after the last birth. In New England where I lived at the time I wished that there were more Christian doulas. Some that I read about and spoke with seemed a bit "new agey" and I was not comfortable personally with some of their practices.
We've sinced moved to Georgia and I have thought about searching for one for our upcoming birth in May. We are considering whether or not to try yet again for a VBAC or go for the recommended section. If we are going to ahve a section I'll check into the OR rules and procedures before making a final decision.
Hope this info helps!
Beth

[EvaS]

Thanks Beth! I too have thought of becoming a birth doula but that might have to wait until the kiddos are a bit older. I think a doula would be a wonderful thing for me and hubby bcuz last time I was laboring in a birthing center with a midwife but she had to keep leaving me bcuz she had other things to do in the ward. And I felt really uncomfortable everytime she left. I just wanted the comfort of someone who knew what was going on being with me the whole time. Plus Dh didn't have a clue what to do to help me so I think he would benefit as well. I've looked at this lady's site and she looks to be nice. Anyway, thanks beth for your reply. It helped me lots!

[danou]

I too, had a doula for my ds's birth. It was the best decision my dh & I made regarding the birth. I was very hesitant to have a hospital birth, but there weren't any local midwives or options other than unassisted home birth. She was excellent and her thing was to assist dad to be the main coach. She was as hands on as we wished (willing at my request to do perineal massage) not to mention is a Christian who helped me pray through some "issues" later in the labour. I wouldn't have been able to do an unmedicated birth without her... I would highly recommend one, especially if you are planning on un medicated/intervention free.

BTW: good book to read is "Thinking Woman's Guide to Childbirth".
d:)

[EvaS]

Danou, I was planning on taking gas and air (that's all I had last time), but I've been reading up on natural/unmedicated birth and I've just recently decided to leave out the gas and air aswell and to hire a doula and try all the natural positioning that helps for pain relief. If you don't mind me asking, how was your unmedicated birth? What things did you try to relieve pain, and did the perineal message work? If you find that too much to answer in public, just pm me. I find birth stories fascinating. Thanks Danou!!

[breezykc2]

I didn't have a doula, but I had two all natural births with my boys....OUCH! LOL Perineal massage did not work for me and I tore badly the second time because my son came SO fast and hard and no one was prepared...the doctor wasn't even in the room and the nurse had to run to the end of the bed to catch him! Luckily she was a good catch!! I had to have an episiotomy with the first....they tried massage, but it wasn't enough.
I used visualization to channel/focus my pain....my request was that no one could touch or talk to me unless it was medically necessicary for docs/nurses....not even my hubby! I had to personally focus and go somewhere else mentally and when people talked or touched me, it broke my concentration! It is different for everyone!
I personally would have loved an epidural the second time, but there was no time for one....and having the epidural for the afterbirth and all the junk they do to you after delivery would have been nice I've been told.....but honestly.....7-10cm goes in about 20 minutes for me everytime and that includes the delivery, so it's hard and fast and brutal, but it's over quickly, so the worst is the after junk and tummy pushing they do after you deliver I think for me.......
Don't be afraid of it though, you can do it! It can get scary when it gets really hard and fast at the end and the breathing gets so hard...that's when you NEED to channel and as long as you breathe (or I moaned through it because I couldn't catch my breath, but I could let out air with moaning to keep from losing control) you can do it!
Good luck! It is SO different for everyone, gets tips and all....but then you'll find your own instinct will take over in the moment and your body will tell you what you need!

[buttercup_97140]

I didn't hire a doula, but I asked a friend of mine, who had given birth to 3 babies to be my doula. I had a homebirth, so she didn't have to help protect me from unwanted medication solicitation, but she was an awesome addition to our birth team. She had also delivered her last baby with the same midwife, and had become good friends, so it was a very comforting atmosphere for me.
My Dh was there, and he did very well, but she had that female touch that really helped A LOT. Mostly during my labor she would pray for me, she would give me drinks of water, she held my head up when I fell asleep inbetween contractions and was falling into the water...LOL! She also would give me encouraging words when I was working hard.
I feel so blessed to have had her there. I think my birth was the first one she had been at where she was acting as a doula, but she was amazing! She actually caught my daughter when she was born. Dh didn't want to have anything to do with the birth part....he didn't want to see Dd coming out...LOL so I asked my friend/doula to catch her. Of course my midwife was there too, but we let my friend say she caught her! :D
If I didn't have friends who were willing to be there to support me and with whom I trust, I would totally hire a doula. Our husbands should help us during labor, but they are very emotionally connected to us and the baby, so it's harder for them to focus.

I pray you find someone that you enjoy and that your VBAC is successful!!

Amber

[danou]

sorry for the delay... haven't checked the post in a while.
My unmedicated birth was exhilarating! I realise this is not the case for everybody... but it really was incomparable to anything I've ever experienced... the biggest rush.
The active-labour was 18 hours and I laboured at hospital (wanted to be at home to avoid being put on a clock) however due to high bp had to be induced. The pushing was 1 hour. Pain relief- there wasn't a tub/pool so I spent a lot of time on toilet with hot shower on my back. That was the best time I ever spent on a toilet!
:wink:
Use the birthing ball and lots of walking... stairs!
All fours and the hip squeeze near the end was great
It didn't hurt nearly as much as I had imagined... I had geared myself up for the worst possible pain... so everytime it got bad, I kept telling myself it will only get worse, so keep on trucking.
Perineal massage and warm compresses were the icing on the pushing cake! At first I thought it might be a little too much closeness, but all modesty is sent out the door during birthing.
I also delivered while squatting... the baby moved down well. The idea of laying/sitting on a bed sent me through the roof (I think I had back labour)- plus it's not a conducive position for moving a baby - it's all uphill.

I was lucid and best of all baby was alert and able to suckle with in minutes of delivery. 8) I felt like I could climb a mountain after wards.

I'd be happy to discuss this further with you... its' something I'm very passionate about.

[breezykc2]

Oh yeah....TOTALLY agree...use the birthing ball! If you have short legs like me...use the cylindrical shaped one if you can find one, you can roll much easier!

[Jill]

how do you find a doula? My first delivery i had an epidural. i felt no pain at all and the labor was quick and only 3 pushes until my ds was born. i did tear and the recovery from that was the hardest. anyway, i want to go natural next time. i feel like i really missed out on "real" labor. my ds was born very alert and was b/f within a half hour of delivery so all was ok on that end. however, the hospital gave me pitocin without my knowledge or consent!my dh saw them out it in the iv even though i was 4cm and 100% effaced. i was really upset when i found out. so i don't want to make the same mistakes next time.

[danou]

That exact reason is one of the main reasons we hired a doula (as previously mentioned we hadn't any choice other than hospital birth)!!!
- Ask the attendees to tell you what they are doing and why
- Make sure dh and doula know what you want and don't want.
- Make them your voice- (have them ask what is being done and ask nurse/dr to explain before anything is done- especially during shift change as new rotation may not be up to speed on your wishes.)
(You may want to request a hep lock or saline lock- that will open the vein should they need to do an iv quickly- I found it a good compromise
- Try to communicate with nursing staff your birth plan/vision
- Remember you are not obligated to submit to any treatment of which you are not in favour
- Try to avoid interventions that will put you on a time clock: ROM, induction,

I found my doula from word of mouth/recommendation. Check out DONA (Doulas of North America) online and I think they have local listings of "registered" doulas... maybe midwives know of some, child birth educators (our local doulas give free pre-natal classes in community)
I went in to my hospital birth with a "fight 'em if it kills me" attitude (largely because my first choice was not to be in hospital) and it caused me a lot of stress before hand but in the end I was blessed with a birth very close to what I wanted in the first place.

[rowansmom]

how do you find a doula?
I work for a doula agency in my state. So I am not reistered with Dona like some doulas are. But lots of doulas opt to not register with them and have their own service. You can probably fiind cheaper and just as good doulas not on dona.

Goggle doulas in your area, or check with hospitals or midwives in your areas.

Sometimes doulas are advertized in local pregnancy listings