Help!!!

Ok it's not life or death but I really need some advice here!
Abby is a real mummys girl. I always thought she'd be daddys girl but nope. She has gotten really bad lately. She won't go to daddy for a hug or kiss. She won't let him put her in her highchair. She won't go to him basically at all. Only if he has yoghurt or something she wants HAHA Otherwise she wants me. Carrying her and holding her and even just having her on my lap or leaning on my bump has become very hard. I get a sore back and that round ligament pain or sharp pains when I carry her or hold her. I so wish she would go to her daddy for hugs instead of me every time! But she just kicks and screams and gets all worked up.
I am so worried about how she is going to react when Sophie is born and how I am going to be able to do anything for Sophie including feed her when Abby wants to be on me/hugging all the time. I'm worried about Abby hurting Sophie by jumping on me when I'm feeding her. I am just getting really anxious.

Has anyone else had this problem? Is this seperation anxiety or is it because I'm pregnant? What is up with her?!

[RogueBabe]

In my opinion, it's pretty normal behavior. Children can sense that Moms are changing - as with a pregnancy - and a lot of times they also pick up on our behavior or "vibes". I'm sure your daughter will be fine once the new baby is here. You can try letting her help get things ready for the baby. Also, let her "talk" to your belly and let her know the baby can hear her :) I don't see an age in their for Abby so I'm not sure how young we're talking here *LOL* She may be clingy right now just because she cares - it's not always about being spoiled...Sometimes children just want to let us know that they're there for us...No matter how young.

As far as Daddy goes, you can make that a game too. Hug as a family all together at the same time. Maybe you can take turns flipping over playing cards to see how many hugs to give. If you turn over a 2 - you would give 2 hugs, one to Daddy and one to Abby. It's a fun game when you flip a 10 *LOL*

For pain, a heating pad on low is nice. Also, back rubs while sitting in a chair can be helpful. A great thing is a nice massage from the husband, if time permits. It can really relieve stress and pain. That's the other part of this equation though. Because you are stressing over Abby and her behavior, it can cause an achiness in your body. Relax. Maybe you and Abby can pretend and play "Spa Day". I've included some things below for you and Abby to try during the week when you need to keep her occupied and off of your belly.

Hope this helps :)

*Hugs*

~Kim

Monday –

Today is “Spa Day”. You and your child will spend the whole day pampering yourselves. There are so many ideas for “Spa Day”! Make a steam room. Run the shower on hot and then put on your bathing suits and wrap yourselves in towels. Before you run the shower, close the drain and drop in a fizzy smell pretty of some sort. It makes for a very aromatic environment. Put a large towel on the floor and pretend you’re in a sauna room. Enjoy the steam as it opens your pores and relaxes you. Talk with your child about what relaxes them. Make sure you have a timer for this. We usually sit there talking for about 10-15 minutes. When you are done, use the water in the tub to soak your hands and feet. Make sure the water is cool enough to do this! Now it’s time for a manicure! Carefully trim fingernails and toenails and then rub some lotion on your feet and hands and let your child do the same! Children love to play “Spa Day”! What other ideas can you come up with for pampering you and your child? How about a back massage? First, you can rub lotion into your child’s back and then, they can do yours! Maybe a nice nap with cucumber slices on your eyes! Remember to put in a soothing sounds CD or something calming. Or how about a relaxing movie! Let your child help you come up with “Spa Day” ideas too!

Tuesday –

Today is “Be Nice to Others Day”. You and your child will spend the whole day doing things that will benefit others. There are so many wonderful things you can do on this day! Go through all the couches and chairs to see how much change can be found. Often pennies find their way under furniture. When you have collected all the change, donate it to a charity! There are often charity jars at convenience stores, supermarkets and department stores. Take your child to one of the stores and let them put all the change in the jar. Make sure you read to your child what’s written on the outside of the jar, letting them know where the money is going and who they have helped. Collect a few cans and boxes of food out of the cupboard. Then take the food to the local shelter. Let your child pick out things that they think someone would enjoy eating. Explain to your child that some people really can’t afford a lot of food and that the food donation may be going to feed a child just like them. Go through clothes and see if there’s anything that may be too small and in good enough condition to donate to a shelter. Your child will learn about giving and compassion towards those less fortunate. Ask your child what ideas they have about being nice to others. Maybe saying “Please” and “Thank You” or smiling at everyone all day long! There are so many wonderful ways to be nice.

Wednesday –
Today is “Silly Day”. Make this day one that your child will never forget! Maybe you have to say “Quack” after every sentence! How about only walking backwards! Or maybe you can hop instead of walking! Let your child make up a silly menu of foods for dinner. Spaghetti can be called “Silly String with Sauce”. Juice can be called “Laughter Serum”. There are a lot of great silly ideas out there and I bet that your child has more than a few ways to make the day totally silly and fun!

Thursday –

Today is “Exercise Day”. This is a great way to burn off that extra energy during the vacation week. You don’t even have to have exercise equipment to do this! Jumping jacks, hopping on one foot or even touching your toes can be made fun! Put in a funny CD, maybe with children’s songs on it or something bouncy and fun, then let your child create an exercise for each song. A slow jog around the outside of the house or a bike ride around the yard would be a great way to spend some time exercising. Let your child share with you what exercises they would like to do! This is a great way to get your child excited about exercise and burning off energy! Make sure that you both make healthy eating choices for the day. Because it’s a day of health and exercise, make sure there are a variety of fruits and vegetables available to replace vitamins and nutrients.

Friday –

Finally you’ve made it through the week! Well, except for this last day. Today is “Lazy Day”. It’s a do nothing kind of day. Relax and still have fun! Maybe you can watch a movie together. How about spending some time making something special? A wonderful thing to do today is make a scrapbook of everything that you’ve done all week. Then, the next time you have a vacation week, you can look back and add more things to try or do something totally different! This is a day to do a whole lot of relaxing and just having fun!

[kassismom]

I wish I had some good advice for you, but I am in the same position your husband is. My daughter is and has always been obsessed with her daddy. She wants him to do everything for her, she wants him to play with her, etc... Sometimes it's a bit discouraging, but I know she's not trying to hurt my feelings or trying to be mean. She just loves her daddy. I hope their relationship will stay this way, especially when she's a teenager :D

[Reneemomto5]

First take a deep breath Renee, she's perfectly normal. Children go through many stages its really hard to keep track of them all. Many times my children went through this espcecially arount age 2 or 3, wanting mommy for EVERYTHING. I just needed a breather for petes sake, not that I didn't love my children but their reliance on me for everything sometimes was overwhelming.

Than they went through the stage they wanted daddy for everything because mommy did most of the discipling, bathing, tooth brushing, taking to the dentist, schooling and daddy was all fun.

But with what your describing what I did was I had Daddy spend one on one time somewhere with that particular child or do something fun together. Maybe just going to a relatives, going to McDonalds together, watching their favorite movie together, play playdough together, paint and do something really fun and messy together. That always seemed to win them over. Today I still make sure they still do some things together with their dad. My now 3 year old loves to drive with his daddy while he is driving our tractor trailers for our family business.

You'll do just fine, and your daughter will adapt just fine to a new baby have faith she will. Once baby arrives there is so much you can involve her with. Keep trying new things and she'll come around in time. Just keep telling yourself "its only a stage and we'll make it through it."

God Bless

Thanks! I guess I just need to find ways to keep her off me HAHA and interested in something else!
The idea of getting her to do stuff with daddy is great. I think he needs to spend more time with her and take her out... just the two of them. To the park or something. :lol:
I know she needs mummy time too but not as much as she does. She sees me and spends time with me 5 days a week. From the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. Daddy is hardly here (except in the weekends) and she doesn't seem to care. I thought she would be the opposite seeing as she hardly sees him... you know. I thought she'd be a daddys girl.
If we can just get mummy time at a comfortable level then things will be great. LOL I just don't want her to feel like she is being replaced by the baby.

BTW she is only 23 months.

[butterflymom]

Yes, I agree with most of the others, this is pretty normal for her age. Some of the others suggestions are really good. She is just with you so much that thats what she is used to.

When my dd was 2 (she is now 13) she went through a stage where I could not leave her. I took her to the daycare one day so I could go to work and she started crying when I left . This had been going on for some time and that day she bit and kided the daycare worker.It was really bad. She was just scared of being without me. She finally grew out of it.

Something else, you are scared of how she will react when you have the baby. A friend of mine did this, when she had her baby shower she bought her little girl several gifts of her own to unwrap and she let her daughter sit on her lap and unwrap the gifts for her. Made her feel like it was for her too. When I was pregnant with my son (my second child) I allowed my daughter to take a bath with me and she poured water over my stomach like she was washing the baby and he would kick and kick when she done this and I would have her put the hand on my stomach to feel him kicking. Kind of made a bond there. And you know what? My son loves water to this day. He wants to go swimming in the winter. He kept me up all night crying and the only thing that would calm him and stop the crying was if I but him in his babytub with water. How crazy does that sound. A baby with colic who only stops crying when he's in the water. I can't tell you the times I put him in water just to get a little peace.

Not only did she bond with hin, bc he loves her dearly, but she marked him with that water!!!!!

Thanks butterflymom. I will definitely do both those things.
I was already going to buy Abby a gift from the baby and from me and hubby.
And I can't wait until Sophie starts kicking hard enough that Abby and Paul will be able to feel it.