I thought about posting this in the gripe forum but decided to put it here due to the topic... hoping to hear from anybody else who's had a long road with breastfeeding challenges/adjustments.

When DD was born, I thought the bf'ding was getting off to a great start, and it has not been unbearable... but off and on constant challenges. When I met with the LC (week before last, I think?), I asked her why is it so hard? She agreed that something that's supposed to be so natural should come easily, and when she gets to heaven it's the first question she's going to ask. I think I agree. Never really had any other "burning" questions before... but this is definitely one! I know some women have no problems and it goes very smoothly for them, and I know some have had far more difficult challenges than we've had...!

To sum it up...


My nipples are short and flat, so getting a good latch is work EVERY time she eats... and I don't think it's still what it should be every single time. My nipples do not hurt as much when she starts nursing now, but there still is some soreness sometimes right at first, and I'm still wearing the shells between feedings to keep clothing off of them so they're not sore between feedings. I tried taking those off the other day, and by night they were getting really sore/tender again from rubbing against the material of my clothing. [thumbsdown] I'm starting to wonder if they'll ever feel "normal" again and if I'll ever be able not to wear the shells b/w feedings.
I've read not to wait until she's "ravenous" to feed her, which makes perfect sense and it does help with getting her latched and when she starts eating it's easier on the nipple, but that has its own set of challenges! If I do not wait until she's good and awake, sometimes she's still so groggy I'm not sure she's really eating enough before falling back to sleep. Then if she does not, she wants to eat again like in an hour. Also, if I change her diaper upon waking her to eat trying to feed her in the earliest stages of her starting to get hungry, she'll have a bm in the middle of the feeding, so we have to stop, change the diaper, go back to feeding again. Often when I lay her down to change her diaper, she'll spit up quite a bit of what she ate and then it seems like however much came up was just "wasted" and she's hungrier than she would have been and needs to eat more... but if I wait until she's really waking up well to feed her, she's very upset by the time I get her diaper changed, situated with pillow and to the breast, which also contributes to gas/spit up... seems like a vicious cycle at times! [whatheadagainstthe:
She seems not to like it when the milk flow isn't as steady as it cycles from faster to slower... which I know can also be affected by the latch. I never am quite sure if I'm switching her to the other breast prematurely since she starts getting frustrated if it's not coming as quickly as she wants it, and I'm afraid it could cause my supply to go down... I've read that but then I've also read that your supply can adjust back up if you need it to and do certain things, but how do you know if your supply needs "work"?! It's all so confusing sometimes. :???:
I think she's got some food sensitivities, which would be no surprise since both DH and I do. But I've noticed when I eat wheat and dairy that she seems to be spitting up quite a bit more than normal and also seems fussier/gassier/stomach issues while feeding and just after. So... I'm NOT happy that my diet will have to be so restricted for A WHOLE YEAR!? [crytantrum] I LOVE cheesecake and ice cream, and while I have those things in moderation, I do like to have them on occasion. I'm hopeful that at least with the dairy, maybe it's more of her system is not mature enough for it yet, as I know can be the case....


So.... that's pretty much where we are. I am thankful that so far it has not been as badly or as painful as I know some of you have experienced (bleeding nipples and excruciating pain), or I think I might have thrown in the towel by now. [sadashamed]

And... it *has* gotten better. I just hope that it continues getting better and actually is enjoyable at some point, because honestly, I have not really enjoyed bf'ing at all yet and I'm only doing it because I know how wonderful it is for her and for me. That's the only thing that keeps me going right now. :(

Anybody else had these kinds of challenges or felt like this? I did find this article on kellymom.com encouraging that there must be others who've felt something like this before: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/love-bf-24-7.html

Thanks, so much, Jenny for recommending it in my other thread. It's been really, really helpful. [thankssign]

oh the joys :mrgreen: Give it 3 months and things should become much more enjoyable for both of you. For it being painful at first and then not so much pain, it sounds like she goes on with a bad latch (the cause of the pain) but then corrects it herself when she gets going (the decrease in pain) I have never had to deal with food sensitivity so I am no help with that. If she poos in the middle of bf, do you HAVE to change her? like is it leaking out of her diaper or she is upset that it's in there? If not, I say just let her sit in it. It isn't going to kill her or cause a rash if she is just sitting in it till she is done eating, then afterwards she can get changed. If she falls asleep bf and then wakes up during the diaper change let her go back on, If she has a full tummy at that point she will probably suck for like 5 min and fall back asleep so you can put her down. the best thing to remember when you are first getting her on, and positioned is just relax. relax you shoulders take some deep breaths, if you are calm and relaxed she will be a bit easier to get on. *much easier said than done* you sound like you are doing really good for being a first timer; so GO OU! Also you won't have the shield forever, once she gets go with getting on you can start weaning her off the shield

Hello :) i can completley understand , with my 1st dd breastfeeding was a wonderful experience , so i knew when i was pregnant with my 2nd i would be breastfeeding , but my goodness it was so different , i have large nipples so the baby always chopped on them at 1st cos there mouths were too small lol , this didn't worry me cos it never lasted long , but with dd2 she was so hard to latch on , then we both got thrush , her in her mouth and me in my nipples , oh the pain and my poor baby was in so much pain too cos her mouth was sore and cos of it i had to keep cleaning my boobs , applying cream ect and it just really took the comfort away from the feeding and this lasted for 3 months , i really struggled and like yourself i just kept going cos i knew it was best for her. i think i more saw it as giving her the best rather than bonding , but we bonded in other way's and i didn't love her any less than my other dd and it did get easier and i enjoyed giving her my milk , but in a different way than the 1st time and i breast fed her until she was 13 months:-D i think the thing is not to put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way about it , cos i spent a lot of time feeling guilty cos i didn't have those mushy feelings and enjoy it as much as the 1st time , also the breastfeeding advisor i saw reminded me that all babies are very different and one women she had ,had breastfeed all 7 of her children so was a pro , yet she had issue's with her last baby. it's just one of those things ((hugs)) yet i do understand how hard it is when your going through it.

Hello :) i think the thing is not to put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way about it , cos i spent a lot of time feeling guilty cos i didn't have those mushy feelings and enjoy it as much as the 1st time , also the breastfeeding advisor i saw reminded me that all babies are very different and one women she had ,had breastfeed all 7 of her children so was a pro , yet she had issue's with her last baby. it's just one of those things ((hugs)) yet i do understand how hard it is when your going through it.
I totally agree... Don't beat yourself up:) There is probably things about every baby that we as Moms think we don't enjoy like we should... But in all reality, having a baby in the house is not all fun & games. I mean, they're wonderful and I wouldn't trade DD for the world!! But there is times (like the middle of totally sleepless nights...) when I think the whole Mommy thing isn't so fun!

oh the joys :mrgreen: If she poos in the middle of bf, do you HAVE to change her? like is it leaking out of her diaper or she is upset that it's in there? If not, I say just let her sit in it. It isn't going to kill her or cause a rash if she is just sitting in it till she is done eating, then afterwards she can get changed. If she falls asleep bf and then wakes up during the diaper change let her go back on, If she has a full tummy at that point she will probably suck for like 5 min and fall back asleep so you can put her down. the best thing to remember when you are first getting her on, and positioned is just relax. relax you shoulders take some deep breaths, if you are calm and relaxed she will be a bit easier to get on. *much easier said than done* you sound like you are doing really good for being a first timer; so GO YOU!

When DD poos in the middle of her diaper change, I make her wait at least until after I burp her. We've had problems with her choking so I'd MUCH rather deal with the dirty diaper being on there "too long" then a choking baby again!! Of course, if you have problems with diaper rash, then that's a whole other issue... we've had minor problems but nothing too bad so far. Relaxing is definitely a key for me!! I admit, I've had it TOO NICE with bfing this baby!! I keep telling myself I'm beyond blessed on this one and I just feel really bad for all the Moms who have it so hard:( And yes...you're doing GREAT!!! Keep up the hard work and remember this is YOUR baby and you are the only mommy she has:) She loves you to death and thinks you're amazing!!

oh the joys :mrgreen: Give it 3 months and things should become much more enjoyable for both of you.

3 MONTHS?! :shock: Well, I guess we are over 1/3 of the way there. I sure hope it does, though.

If she poos in the middle of bf, do you HAVE to change her? like is it leaking out of her diaper or she is upset that it's in there?

I think only once has it been leaking, and it does not seem to bother her...

If not, I say just let her sit in it. It isn't going to kill her or cause a rash if she is just sitting in it till she is done eating, then afterwards she can get changed. [idea] Good idea...

She'll have to sit in it for a little while afterwards, because to decrease the spit up I have to have her upright for a little while when she finishes eating... the funny thing about the spit up is that she does not spit up as much after eating during the night when she has more during the day............! [whatscratchinghead]

you sound like you are doing really good for being a first timer; so GO OU! Also you won't have the shield forever, once she gets go with getting on you can start weaning her off the shield

Thanks... doesn't feel like it though! They are shells, not shields. I called them shields in another post and I had talked about the LC having me use them at the hospital and that she might have me use them again, but she didn't think I needed them. The shells are to protect the nipples from materials you're wearing between feedings to help them heal from cracks/soreness. They're great, just wish I didn't have to keep wearing them for long.

3 MONTHS?! :shock: Well, I guess we are over 1/3 of the way there. I sure hope it does, though.


She'll have to sit in it for a little while afterwards, because to decrease the spit up I have to have her upright for a little while when she finishes eating... the funny thing about the spit up is that she does not spit up as much after eating during the night when she has more during the day............! [whatscratchinghead]


I always say give it 3 months because thats usually the longest it takes, sometimes less:mrgreen:

according to my lac consul. you will have less milk supply later in the day, right around 2pm your milk supply will drop naturally (which is why you have to keep your water up) so that might be why she doesn't spit up as much at night, simply because she isn't getting as much milk as during the morning and early afternoon hours.

Sorry you are having a hard time hon. I have/had flat nipples before. While I can't say for certain that it will get better I know that for me as time went on my nipples have changed and I am super hopeful that this time around it will go much easier for me. The key is really about getting a good latch from the start.

I agree about the shells, they are a pain to wear but oh do they help immensely. I don't know what I would have done without mine either time.

You mentioned that your nipples were still getting sore and that you have food sensitivities so my question to you is do you know if you have an allergy to wool and are you using lanolin? I only mention this because although lanolin is touted as being the most wonderful thing in the world it is something that can cause allergies in infants and if you are allergic to wool it will cause massive sensitivity and pain for mom. I am allergic to wool/lanolin so I only use Earth Mama Angel Baby cream. Just a thought I thought I would throw out there.

Praying it gets better for you soon.

also the breastfeeding advisor i saw reminded me that all babies are very different and one women she had ,had breastfeed all 7 of her children so was a pro , yet she had issue's with her last baby. it's just one of those things ((hugs)) yet i do understand how hard it is when your going through it.

Thanks, Leona. I have heard that, too, that every baby can be so different with bf'ding just like with pregnancy.

if you have problems with diaper rash, then that's a whole other issue...

And yes...you're doing GREAT!!! Keep up the hard work and remember this is YOUR baby and you are the only mommy she has She loves you to death and thinks you're amazing!!

Not really, just minor diaper rash or irritation.

Thank you... you're so sweet, Anna. I feel silly sometimes getting so frustrated with a little baby like when I can't figure out what to do when she's fussy. But I know it's mostly due to the sleep deprivation. So when that has happened I feel like it's more like she thinks what kind of mother do I have? ;)

You mentioned that your nipples were still getting sore and that you have food sensitivities so my question to you is do you know if you have an allergy to wool and are you using lanolin? I only mention this because although lanolin is touted as being the most wonderful thing in the world it is something that can cause allergies in infants and if you are allergic to wool it will cause massive sensitivity and pain for mom. I am allergic to wool/lanolin so I only use Earth Mama Angel Baby cream. Just a thought I thought I would throw out there.

Thank you. I have only used it once but I've used Earth Mama Angel Baby the rest of the time. I tried the lanolin not long after I got the shells but then I stopped using anything. The LC said those were mostly good for in the beginning and I had read some women said they didn't think those creams did anything to help speed the healing. Do you use it continuously and do you think it helps to keep using it?

according to my lac consul. you will have less milk supply later in the day, right around 2pm your milk supply will drop naturally (which is why you have to keep your water up) so that might be why she doesn't spit up as much at night, simply because she isn't getting as much milk as during the morning and early afternoon hours.

Actually it is middle of the night feedings where they are fuller from more time between feedings...?

my question to you is do you know if you have an allergy to wool and are you using lanolin? I only mention this because although lanolin is touted as being the most wonderful thing in the world it is something that can cause allergies in infants and if you are allergic to wool it will cause massive sensitivity and pain for mom. I am allergic to wool/lanolin so I only use Earth Mama Angel Baby cream. Just a thought I thought I would throw out there.


Hi! Thanks for the tip! I'm allergic to wool too! I couldn't use lanolin either for soreness - so they told me instead just put breast milk around the affected area and air dry as much as you can (yeah, right - I had to get back to being a mother - I only had time to air dry after 2 minutes LOL)- it did work somewhat.[whatwacko]

according to my lac consul. you will have less milk supply later in the day, right around 2pm your milk supply will drop naturally (which is why you have to keep your water up)

BTW, is keeping your water up supposed to help with it at all? I'm sure I need to be drinking more. I am not a big drinker...

yes you need to drink lots of water to keep up your supply. but if you don't drink enough during the day you will notice your supply is lower later on in the day. And yes you will probably notice more milk at night when you are not so much in demand and your boobs are able to fill up without being drained.

Thank you. I have only used it once but I've used Earth Mama Angel Baby the rest of the time. I tried the lanolin not long after I got the shells but then I stopped using anything. The LC said those were mostly good for in the beginning and I had read some women said they didn't think those creams did anything to help speed the healing. Do you use it continuously and do you think it helps to keep using it?

I use it at the start and then only on an as needed basis.



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Thank you... you're so sweet, Anna. I feel silly sometimes getting so frustrated with a little baby like when I can't figure out what to do when she's fussy. But I know it's mostly due to the sleep deprivation. So when that has happened I feel like it's more like she thinks what kind of mother do I have? ;)

Sleep deprivation does crazy things to us moms for sure!! and i so know what you mean...if only they could tell us whats wrong!!

First of all, I know exactly what you're talking about. All of it!! I totally agree with the 3 months thing... that's how long it took for me to feel completely natural and at ease with breastfeeding, and truly loving it! I know it sounds long but now we're at 5 months and it feels like SO LONG ago! Don't think about tomorrow or even the next feeding. Try to relax as much as possible and drink, drink, drink! You can get herbal teas with fenugreek in them that are great for milk production, also teas with peppermint, chamomile, etc can calm and relax a fussy, gassy baby. I bought a package of herbal teas specifically designed for breastfeeding moms, called lunar nursing tea (http://www.lunareclipse-babies.com/page7/nursingtea.html) and I really found it worked. Sawyer was sensitive to milk products, caffeine & a lot of veggies toward the beginning, but he's grown out of it. I pray things look up for you soon!! Hugs & lots of prayers, girl!

First of all, I know exactly what you're talking about. All of it!! I totally agree with the 3 months thing... that's how long it took for me to feel completely natural and at ease with breastfeeding, and truly loving it! I know it sounds long but now we're at 5 months and it feels like SO LONG ago! Don't think about tomorrow or even the next feeding. Try to relax as much as possible and drink, drink, drink! You can get herbal teas with fenugreek in them that are great for milk production, also teas with peppermint, chamomile, etc can calm and relax a fussy, gassy baby. I bought a package of herbal teas specifically designed for breastfeeding moms, called lunar nursing tea (http://www.lunareclipse-babies.com/page7/nursingtea.html) and I really found it worked. Sawyer was sensitive to milk products, caffeine & a lot of veggies toward the beginning, but he's grown out of it. I pray things look up for you soon!! Hugs & lots of prayers, girl!

TY so much! I am definitely going to try the tea. DD has been miserable off and on this morning, I think from gas. What does it taste like? I really hope she outgrows the sensitivities, too. When could I try adding things back in to my diet, do you think? I think my morning coffee might be the first I'd want to try again! [teaorcoffee]

TY so much! I am definitely going to try the tea. DD has been miserable off and on this morning, I think from gas. What does it taste like? I really hope she outgrows the sensitivities, too. When could I try adding things back in to my diet, do you think? I think my morning coffee might be the first I'd want to try again! [teaorcoffee]

[teaorcoffee][teaorcoffee][teaorcoffee]
The tea isn't that bad, not the best I've had but it wasn't that big a deal. I love peppermint tea, so I drink a lot of that anyway!
[teaorcoffee][teaorcoffee][teaorcoffee]
I just gradually started added coffee back in and it didn't seem to have adverse effects... maybe around 3 months?
[teaorcoffee][teaorcoffee][teaorcoffee]

Can you tell I love that coffee mug?! :D

First of all, I know exactly what you're talking about. All of it!! I totally agree with the 3 months thing... that's how long it took for me to feel completely natural and at ease with breastfeeding, and truly loving it! I know it sounds long but now we're at 5 months and it feels like SO LONG ago! Don't think about tomorrow or even the next feeding. Try to relax as much as possible and drink, drink, drink! You can get herbal teas with fenugreek in them that are great for milk production, also teas with peppermint, chamomile, etc can calm and relax a fussy, gassy baby. I bought a package of herbal teas specifically designed for breastfeeding moms, called lunar nursing tea (http://www.lunareclipse-babies.com/page7/nursingtea.html) and I really found it worked. Sawyer was sensitive to milk products, caffeine & a lot of veggies toward the beginning, but he's grown out of it. I pray things look up for you soon!! Hugs & lots of prayers, girl!
totally wanna try this tea!! bfing is goin good, but she's got a sensitive tummy so if it helps, i'm all for it:)

Ordered the tea and hoping it gets here soon! The shipping cost was more than the tea :shock:, but if it helps it will be well worth it.