Feeling unprepared

[Reneemomto5]

Can you prepare for a teenager? I think I have been in somewhat of a denial. My son is 14, and there are plenty more waiting in the wings for adolescents/teenager-hood in our house. Thinking I better accept there is a teenager in the house and better prepare myself for what the future may hold. Are you suppose to prepare yourself and child oops teenager, or does it remain a natural process? I thought the earlier years were all wonderful and fairly easy going.

My son is a great kid, no complaints, tries so very hard with home schooling, accepts and rejoices in knowing the Lord, no outbursts of hormones, but with few friend contact his exact age. I am noticing the age difference now more in play with his siblings, he has some learning difficulties as well so I see maybe he is a tad immature for what maybe 14 should be. If there is a "norm" of a 14 year old boy. I want to start him in homeschooling groups but he is so shy and insists he is fine. Plus we travel all year with our family business so there are some adjustments I need to make there too. He does just fine socially always has, he is just quiet. He does very well in our working environment with people his age, older than him or younger. I am in no way worried about the socialization aspect of his life he has plenty of contact its just not with children his age much of the time. He does have friends his age we just see very little of them.

He has never complained about any of this, praying he isn't supressing something but I really don't think so-- we talk a lot, maybe its just my mom guilt woking over time. I myself was a very shy teenager, fine with just very few friends. Should I let him lead, do I push? If he shows a real interest in wanting peers his own age then initiate a plan. He is not sheltered by any means its just kids his own age well are hard to come by, there aren't many.

Is there a way one must prepare to help guide this age, he has a great bible study that deals and applies the bible to everyday life giving guidance, should I be doing more here too?

I always found prior years wonderful, and things just happen naturally, but I am afraid this approach can't be taken with a teenager or can it?

Thanks for reading my book, and hope I made some sense here. I just do not want to let this go by if its something I better pay more attention to.

[luvmy4sons]

I think a lot of what you expressed are concerns of many home educating moms. :) How much peer interaction, with whom, when, how? Having all boys mine have each other as their best friends. We have no youth group at church and they on occasion see someone from church outside of Sunday, but primarily at 17 and 15 my two teens have each other and their younger brothers. :D

My 17 year old has made some relationships at work( He started part time work at 16). But a lot of the guys there he knows would not be good friends so their relationship remains in the work place. I have always taught my sons that bad company corrupts good morals and to be careful with whom they spend a lot of their time. Not that they can't have acquaintances who are not believers just not CLOSE friends. The unequally yoked and all. :?

I did start altering my devotionals with them as they have aged. I found two books to be invaluable. We have read through them a couple of times and still do a couple of times weekly. They are:

"Boyhood and Beyond Practical Wisdom for Becoming a Man" by Bob Shultz

"Created for Work Practical Insights for Young Men" also by Bob Shultz.

I try to address issues that a man would be dealing with and these two books cover about everything you can think of and then some. They are great for some good discussions! [OK]

For me...I have just let things take place naturally being tuned into my sons...I had a few incidences with my 17 year old here and there with feeling like he didn't have friends and feeling a need that our life didn't seem to provide, but it would pass quickly and now he seems fine. None of the others have felt that way. They play in the neighborhood with the kids across the street who also happen to be home educated. Otherwise I figure our family is their social network right now and as they age and opportunities present themselves we will take it one at a time. Hopefully the day to day training and teaching will prepare them adequately as well as my prayers. :)

I find these teen years to be one of reaping what you have sown and enjoying them some as friends a little, but never stopping your guiding and your instruction and boundaries. It is a little unsettling at times when you enter a new phase, as we are now with our oldest wanting to get involved with a girl he met at work. :shock: Our courtship philosophy is taking on new dimensions as we work to find our own way through these murky waters. :?

So big hug mom! [hug] It all sounds normal to me! I bet you are doing a great job! [girlsmiley]

[Reneemomto5]

Thanks for your reply Leslie, as always such wonderful words of wisdom and experience. I was relieved to hear from a "there" mom of teens. And even happier to hear the process still is somewhat a natural one. And I agree with everything you wrote about being careful of our childrens relationships with other, always a priority here too.

Thanks again friend, you're just so sweet. And will be checking out those books. As it is our health sex education class is all the suggestions you have given me last year, I think hubby loves your recomendations even more. It has helped him start conversations and help guide our sons in conversations that are so important in growing up. Always love your recomendations.

[pioneerchristianmomof3]

All I can say is with a teenage daughter....she didn't care that I wasn't ready to parent a teenager!lol :wink: She hit the teen years full run! Hormones, mood swings,etc....I wasn't ready but God in his wisdom has walked me through each trial. Sometimes through a book, sometimes through a friend, and sometimes through Him alone. It hasn't been easy, but each day I see more and more of the wonderful woman God is calling her to be, and I feel truly blessed to have the priviladge of being this young ladies mom!

Just lean on the Lord and your friends Renee. We love you and your family. Relax and enjoy these years as much as you can. Too soon we will be crying on each other's shoulders 'cause our babies will be wanting to leave home! :shock: :lol:

[coffeemate]

I read your post a few days ago, Renee, and have given thought to it since. Beings as I know you personally (some of those friends you mentioned that you rarely get to see!) I want to reitterate what some of these other moms are saying: I think it's a natural process, and I think it's a learning process. AND, I think you're doing a GREAT job in parenting! Your boys are SOo sweet and well-mannered and a true joy to be around. I think communication is the key to fleshing out the day-to-day relationship with your children. I think laughter is also vital. Find things to laugh about together. And applying spiritual truths to the ins-and-outs of each day. Your family is close-knit by virtue of your traveling all the time. That's a plus, never a minus!!!!!! Can't wait to see you soon! Tara