SupermansLady
02-08-2007, 03:14 PM
I'm not really sure where this would be, but since I think most of it stems from being hormonal from pregnancy, I decided to put it here. Mostly just need to get some stuff off my chest and ask for prayer..
Right now, I am 14 weeks pregnant with my 2nd and our 7th together. This pregnancy was not planned, but was welcomed. Just would have been easier at a later date KWIM? But we both know God is in charge and allows what he sees best for us. So, we have accepted it and are glad we are allowed to raise a child from the beginning in a 2 parent Christian household.
So, here is what's been up with me lately...
As most of you know already, my DH went to court last week over some false accusations that were made against him. Thank the Lord those charges have been dropped completely and that nightmare is over, BUT there is so much risidual stuff to deal with that resulted from that womans lies, that I just don't know what to do. I am completely helpless and clueless as how to manage things...this is the first time in my life that I have nobody that can truly "rescue" or "help" me out of a tough situation. I know that this is God's way of showing me he is most important and he is the only one that can handle things, but I am so darn independent that I am really struggling with it.
When these "allegations" were made last fall, it meant the loss of my husbands job, a month long time looking for work, being forced to move off family property and find a new place to live, and severe relationship strain with my parents.
Neither of has great credit, so we had to find a piece of property to move my mobile home onto that would be owner financed. We finally found one, but there was no water/septic hookups, so we are having to pay for that as well. Between paying for the trailer to be moved, down payment on land and regular bills, we still haven't managed to get it all done. So, we are living in a beautiful home on a gorgeous lot, but we have to haul in water to wash dishes, cook, clean with and have to go 2 miles down the road to the state park to take showers every day. Bathroom - well, we have a neighbor who is kind enough to let us use theirs if needed.
So, here I am pregnant, make too much money for state assistance for my medical bills and have had a few complications that make my doctor wanting me to take time off work to rest and give my body the relaxation it needs. To top it off, the group she works for won't let her see me again until I pay at least half of the amount owed for prenatal care. So, I am due for another ultrasound next week along with a regular appointment, but can't go cause I don't have the money!
Maybe I shouldn't be sharing this with you all, I don't know anymore. I have prayed and cried and prayed and cried. I have tried to find a second job (my DH now works 3 jobs, but child support takes so much that his total checks each week are less than $150) but physically I am having a hard time holding up under what I have, let alone another night job. My job pays well, but when it is the primary income and you have electirc, mortgage, land payment, car payment, car insurance, daycare, food, gas, phone, etc. it doesn't last long at all.
I know this looks like a giant pity party. I'm sorry - I just can't take this stress anymore on my own. I can't confide in my family as they won't talk to me, our friends all have too much on their plates and well, my DH is doing the best he can. I feel guilty when I complain to him cause I know he can't physically do anything else to fix our situation.
I needed to vent and to ask for prayer. I know that the only way any of this will be taken care of is if we lean on God and follow his direction, but this week to week with food, gas and bills is getting really hard to deal with.
I'm finding more each day how spoiled I have been all of my life. I never before had to do without the things I needed physically or the things I wanted. Food has never been an issue and right now, although we have food in the house, I am struggling to make it stretch until next payday. It's overwhelming to me to know that if one of us had to miss work for another day in the next two weeks, we might not be able to pay one of our bills.
I'm sorry. Please, just pray for me. I need some extra strength in learning to lean on Jesus and do without things I think I have to have.
Right now, I am 14 weeks pregnant with my 2nd and our 7th together. This pregnancy was not planned, but was welcomed. Just would have been easier at a later date KWIM? But we both know God is in charge and allows what he sees best for us. So, we have accepted it and are glad we are allowed to raise a child from the beginning in a 2 parent Christian household.
So, here is what's been up with me lately...
As most of you know already, my DH went to court last week over some false accusations that were made against him. Thank the Lord those charges have been dropped completely and that nightmare is over, BUT there is so much risidual stuff to deal with that resulted from that womans lies, that I just don't know what to do. I am completely helpless and clueless as how to manage things...this is the first time in my life that I have nobody that can truly "rescue" or "help" me out of a tough situation. I know that this is God's way of showing me he is most important and he is the only one that can handle things, but I am so darn independent that I am really struggling with it.
When these "allegations" were made last fall, it meant the loss of my husbands job, a month long time looking for work, being forced to move off family property and find a new place to live, and severe relationship strain with my parents.
Neither of has great credit, so we had to find a piece of property to move my mobile home onto that would be owner financed. We finally found one, but there was no water/septic hookups, so we are having to pay for that as well. Between paying for the trailer to be moved, down payment on land and regular bills, we still haven't managed to get it all done. So, we are living in a beautiful home on a gorgeous lot, but we have to haul in water to wash dishes, cook, clean with and have to go 2 miles down the road to the state park to take showers every day. Bathroom - well, we have a neighbor who is kind enough to let us use theirs if needed.
So, here I am pregnant, make too much money for state assistance for my medical bills and have had a few complications that make my doctor wanting me to take time off work to rest and give my body the relaxation it needs. To top it off, the group she works for won't let her see me again until I pay at least half of the amount owed for prenatal care. So, I am due for another ultrasound next week along with a regular appointment, but can't go cause I don't have the money!
Maybe I shouldn't be sharing this with you all, I don't know anymore. I have prayed and cried and prayed and cried. I have tried to find a second job (my DH now works 3 jobs, but child support takes so much that his total checks each week are less than $150) but physically I am having a hard time holding up under what I have, let alone another night job. My job pays well, but when it is the primary income and you have electirc, mortgage, land payment, car payment, car insurance, daycare, food, gas, phone, etc. it doesn't last long at all.
I know this looks like a giant pity party. I'm sorry - I just can't take this stress anymore on my own. I can't confide in my family as they won't talk to me, our friends all have too much on their plates and well, my DH is doing the best he can. I feel guilty when I complain to him cause I know he can't physically do anything else to fix our situation.
I needed to vent and to ask for prayer. I know that the only way any of this will be taken care of is if we lean on God and follow his direction, but this week to week with food, gas and bills is getting really hard to deal with.
I'm finding more each day how spoiled I have been all of my life. I never before had to do without the things I needed physically or the things I wanted. Food has never been an issue and right now, although we have food in the house, I am struggling to make it stretch until next payday. It's overwhelming to me to know that if one of us had to miss work for another day in the next two weeks, we might not be able to pay one of our bills.
I'm sorry. Please, just pray for me. I need some extra strength in learning to lean on Jesus and do without things I think I have to have.