Chores

[harmony5]

I am a pushover as most of you probably know by now. :oops: One area I am a major pushover in is making my children do household chores. They are required to clean their rooms and that is about it. I stay at home and have always just assumed I should be responsible for all the cleaning. My dd is 11 (almost 12) and my oldest ds is 9 (almost 10). I would like for them to start doing more around the house because I am overwhelmed. They really don't have any responsibility other than school and keeping their rooms clean. However, I must admit that my son rarely does.

My sister and I were talking and she said they are old enough to do their own laundry and clean their own bathrooms. My dd has a bathroom in her room and the guest bathroom is considered my sons' bathroom. She also recommended having them dust, vaccum, and wash dishes every once in a while won't kill them. :lol:

I've always felt a little guilty if I "make" them do much because they go to school all day and they should be allowed to be children. When they come home from school, they play outside (weather permitting) for an hour, then do their homework, then do whatever they want the rest of the night. Most of the time that means they hang out with the kids in the neighborhood or play outside. DS does play baseball, so he usually has practice a couple times a week. Basically, they really don't have to "do" anything once they get home from school.

I really feel like I am doing them a disservice by doing everything for them. One day, I'm not going to be here. They are going to grow up eventually and I don't want them to be shocked about the responsibility that comes with being an adult. I also don't want them to grow up and be lazy and expect someone else to do things for them. Let me add here, that if I ask them to do something, they usually just do it and don't have a problem doing it. So, I'm not worried they will be upset or anything.

I'm just wondering what chores you find appropriate for children their ages. Do you have a schedule of what your kids do and when? Should I give them some extra responsibilty or let them be kids?

I know a family that has 3 boys who are all grown now--in their 40s. They all live on the same piece of land that their parents do and their mother does a lot for them!! They look to her for answers to everything and they expect a lot from her.

I don't see a problem with being there for my children when they get older. I just don't want to be taken advantage of. I think I'm setting myself up for that!! :roll:

Any advice you all have would be so appreciated!

Lori

[locito]

I don't have kids that age yet....but just an idea....maybe instead of making them do more themselves....do more together. That way it is getting done quicker, leaves less for you to do alone, gives you all together time, and it can make chores a little more fun. I sure think it is a lot easier for two people to make a bed rather than one. They can help you make yours and you have them make theirs. One person set and clear the table, one person load the dishwasher, and one person unload the dishwasher.....one person scrub the tub, one scrub the toilet, and another the sink, etc.....I think you get the point. Just help each other all the time in general andi t makes life easier and funner on everybody!

[jwright]

Just a few months ago we started a chore chart system for our boys (ages 7 and just turned 4). We've kind of slacked off with the 4 yr. old though :?

I go to this site each week and print up a new chart for them
http://www.dltk-cards.com/chart/

My 7 yr. old son has the following "chores"
Make bed
Put pajamas/clothes away
Feed fish
Pick up toys
Hang up coat

Some of those things were things he just seemed to have trouble doing/remembering to do. Now we have a chart so he puts a check in the appropriate box after he has done it. It has been working quite well. For every day that he does his chores, he earns 5 minutes of video game time (dad got video game system for Christmas - pac man, etc.) so on Friday nights we have video game time and he usually has earned 35 minutes for the week.

Janell

I would get them to do more. My parents never made us do anything but clean our rooms and maybe vacuum the house occasionally. And I feel that if I had done more at home I would be better now at doing our own housework. I'm so lazy :oops:
I especially hate washing dishes.

[tracy]

I would get them to do more. My parents never made us do anything but clean our rooms and maybe vacuum the house occasionally. And I feel that if I had done more at home I would be better now at doing our own housework. I'm so lazy I especially hate washing dishes.
I agree, even down to the dishes. My mom always did every for me and I feel the same way. One idea to add is have one night a week/month that they make the family dinner. Have them decide on the menu and have fun! :D

That's a good idea! My parents never asked us to cook and never even taught us to cook. So when I left home I was forever ringing either my father or grandma and asking them how to cook something :lol:

[soulmom]

my dd is 11, almost 12 and her chores are to feed the cats every night when she makes her lunch for school, keep her room clean (pick up and vacuum once a week), dry the dishes when i wash them, fold her and her brothers laundry. my son is 3 1/2 and his chores are to clean up his toys every night, put his dirty clothes in the hamper and he gets to dry his own tupperware drinking cups and plastic bowls when i wash them. dd gets $5 a week for chores and ds gets 50 cents a week to put in his piggy bank. i think it's important to teach kids to be responsible.

[jaimestitches]

my 6 yr old and 4 yr old have alot of different chores to do. Nothing that is too hard for them like using cleaners or taking trash outside. They do alot of the indoor stuff. They love helping out mommy.

I am teaching them responsiblity. When they get older, they can be independent and not have to relly on anyone else.

[butterflymom]

I have the same problem with my children.

DD-13
DS-9
DS-7

I have always done everything thinking that it was just easier and faster for me to do it myself but I am getting ready to work 2 jobs and my kids are just horriable about cleaning the house. They throw fits if I tell them it's time to clean. Yes, all of them are into sports. Cheerleading, softball, baseball, soccer, basketball, football and they are busy but so am I. I have tried diferent things, even makeing a chart but paying them money is not in the budget. Maybe I am just lazy by not makeing them stick to it or something I really don't know. This is the biggest struggle in our house.

Still don't know what to do!!!!!

Both me and dh had to help w/housework when we were little, our mothers worked and the help was expected. My oldest ds has chores. He feeds the dogs and cat, pickes up his laundry (and sorts it when it's his laundry day), picks up the baby's toys each night. He just turned 8 and is still very messy, so as he gets older I will assign him other chores in the house to help me out. He does help dust when he can't get outside to play. I think at that age playing outside is more an advantage that making them stay inside and help w/housework.

It will help them to have more responsibilities around the house. I appreciated my mother more when I saw everything she had to do and work outside the house on top of that!!!

[4HisGlory]

I don't have kids yet but I do have some opinions...
I agree with what some of the other lades on here have said about never being asked to help out. I too never truly helped out my mom growing up and I REALLY wish I had. My mom passed away when I was 18, so I never got to ask her all the wifely/womanly/household questions. I had no idea how to cook much of anything and am still having to learn lots. I do think you do your kids a disservice not to have them help (even though they don't want to now, they WILL thank you later) yOu don't know how long you will have with them, so teach them as much as you can now. here is a site I use to get lots of printable scheduals, there are some chore charts there too. www.practicalhomemaking.com Plus even though you are the housewife, and cleaning is part of your job your job is also to raise self sufficient kids as well, so don't look at having the kids help out as slacking off, because you are still doing your job...you are teaching them how to take care of themselves! good luck!

[ktmartin]

Well I have to agree with what most of you are saying that it is better for the kids to help then not.
I grew up in a large family (10 kids to be exact) and we all had our chores to do. The older ones would do the harder stuff like laundry and cleaning the kitchen, bathrooms and living room and the younger ones would do the easier stuff like empty the hampers or take out the bathroom trash. But everyone was expected to do there share.
We were to keep our rooms clean sometimes we missed a meal if we diddled around and didn't do it in the time alloted. Sometimes we were given an allowence and other times not depending on the budget at the time. Usually when we did get it we would start out with a certain amount say $5.00 a month and if we didn't do our chores that day we would loose a certain amount of money and what ever was left at the end of the month is what we got as an allowence. But the majority of my life we didn't have allowence due to a tight budget.
I never really enjoyed chores but I am so thankful that I know how to clean and take care of a home.
I think the sooner you start your kids helping you the easier it is because they already know that you expect them to help. Also they are contributing to the family which in the end will make them so proud.

[emilyrosejewel]

I didn't have to do much as a child and I wish now my mother had made me because housework is now a struggle for me. I am getting better, but I will definitely have Justice do chores when the time comes. Little things to start out with. I want to have him learn to pick up after himself at a very young age. I think that is so important. I want my children also to view the home and our lives as a team effort and to let them feel a part of the household. Mom shouldn't have to do it all.

[love2mom]

something that has stuck with me: if I don't teach my sons to be responsible for themselves and thoughtful towards others, I am preparing them to be a lot of work for their future wives. (paraphrased from boundaries with kids by cloud and townsend)

There are many jobs that even 2 and 4 year olds can do. ie. Evan (nearly 4) can fold his own pants from the dryer and match socks together. He can put cutlery away, set the table, clear his own dishes, put shoes away, he even tries to make his bed! This is not to say we have it down consistently. :? Kyle can pick up his toys, bring his cup to the sink, likes to help vacuum, wash windows, etc.

Not sure if anyone mentioned this, no time to read it all...Something Angela 7 and her cousin 12 like to do with chores, is write each duty down on a slip of paper, fold, put in a bag and give it a good shake..Each turn they pick one chore, finish it, and usually race back to the bag..

Angela and I do this by ourselves all the time, but it worked with the older one as well.....She didn't see it coming :wink:

They had fun and then we ordered pizza for the evening :D

[NZMummy]

I like the idea with the random slips of paper angelsmom! It is the sort of game that would appeal to me - so maybe it will appeal to my kids too when they are old enough. What worries me is that I do almost all the chores around the home - and I have heard that it is important for young boys to see their father doing some chores. I don't mind doing alot of the chores as I am at home while he is at work. And in the evenings and weekends hubby is often still busy with our home business (or combining this with relaxing in front of the TV). But we sort of got into the habit of me doing everything because I went through a phase of being really fussy about how things were done - it just seemed easier to do it myself. I have also found that when I feel a chore needs to be done is well before my husband feels it is necessary :roll: . I certainly plan to get my son helping out as soon as he is old enough - with age appropriate tasks. One of his favourite phrases is already "Clean it up!". Though I must admit that he was much more enthusiastic about putting things away when he was 18 months than he is at 27 months.

My kids are far younger than yours - 3 1/2 BUT I have found at the moment being their ages they love doing different chores, it makes them feel "BIG" (which would be a completely different experience with older kids I KNOW).

Mine unload/load the dishwasher with me, take their clean washing to their bedrooms, bring their dirty dishes to the bench, they have their own sponge to clean up spills and accidents, they help us weed - my my how this will change once they get older LOL!

I agree with kids having chores and learning to cook !!! It's part of their training to become responsible adults.

[luvmy4sons]

Basically the concept of: It is more blessed to give than to receive, is true here. It blesses a child when he can contribute! No matter how small. [angelflappingwings] Give them what they can do and increase it as they age. It doesn't have to be overwhelming work. One job or two ...but I think it is very important to teach them responsibility. For daughters to teach them how to keep a house. Let them work along side you and learn. For sons to learn how as well because they are truly the one held accountable for their homes, though their future wives will " help" them maintain it. [coupleofspuds]

I tell my sons that truly it is the man's responsiblity to do all the work there is to do. It is his household and he is the head. It is the wife's job to help him. But the man will be the one held accountable before God for how his troops were led. So both sexes need to learn. And in the end we rob them of a blessing if we don't allow them to help out. [crwy]

Each home can decide just how much "help" you are comfortable with and what works for you. But some form of work at home, no matter how small in it's scope, I think, is only responsible parenting. It is part of our 21 rules of this house. " If you make a mess you clean it up. Do no create unnecessary work for others. If you take it out, put it away and if you turn it on turn it off." That covers quite a lot! Anything beyond that is designated as a working as unto the Lord and not unto men! [amen]

[minniejo]

My oldest 4 children are a great help to me. They rotate their chores and are allowed to trade jobs if it is agreeable to both parties involved. Sometimes we mix things up a little bit and allow one to be the "leader" and they get to delagate the chores out to the others. It is so fun to see them work together! They are not always willing, but with a little coaxing to work together so they can have playtime, and the promise of a quarter for their money jar, they usually get their list done. This is an extreme help to me and it also teaches them to be more responsible. When I was growing up my Mom did everything for my sisters and me. She said it was just easier to do it herself and I can totally relate to that, but after I got married I really wished that I would have had to do chores, because I was totally clueless as to how to run a household. So I decided to teach my children how to do some of these things and hopefully their lives will be a little easier because of it. I would love to hear any ideas of ways to motivate children to get their work done.