Just curious as to whether you are on the strict side of parenting or more laid back. And what about your hubby?

As for hubby and myself. I am the one that is strict and hubby is more laid back. So thankful we have each other to balace things out. Though it makes parenting interesting, we do discuss our direction and for the most part agree the way we should be leading and parenting the children. And when I look back at our(hubby and myself) childhoods his family is more laid back and mine well is more uptight and strict.

What about you?

We are both strict but in different areas so I guess we are balanced that way. :D

We're both pretty strict too. I mean we're not so strict that they have no freedom, but we're really strict about things like good manners, tidying up after themselves and behaving in public. Stephanie :D

I am the rules, routine parent. [rules] I keep a tight ship. We do this at this time; we do that at this time. It is time for bed. Not too much candy. It is time for devotions, turn off the TV. That song isn't godly, do you think you should listen to that? I don't like this movie...too much violence. :)

My DH is more laid back. Live and let live. Things aren't always so BIG as I would make them out...he would say anyway. He gives some and I give some; so hopefully there is balance. His word is always the last word though. Sometimes I have seriously drawn blood from my tongue as I bite it! LOL! :lol: But on BIG issues we are both middle of the road now that we have older teens. We see our roles as guiding and influence, within certain boundaries of course. :shock:

Hubby grew up with NO RULES and is laid back. I grew up very strict and tend to be strict. But on big items we both seem to have found middle ground. At least for now. Check with me tomorrow! It might change! [rotfl]

[rules] I keep a tight ship.

Yup... that's me too. However, although dh can be a little more laid back than me; he's still strict also. My kids definitely rejoice when a grandparent is around. :wink:

We are both strict but in different areas so I guess we are balanced that way. :D

yes we are the same way.

I'd say we fall into the 'each strict in different areas' category.

There are areas where I want "it" (whatever 'it' is at the moment) to stop and dh reminds me...they're boys, it's normal. So, I learn to deal with it. I sometimes have to remind him of the same, in an area where I have allowed X because 'they're boys, it's normal' LOL

But overall, we're both strict in our expectations of our children.

I grew up an only child (parents divorced when I was 15, my mom remarried, then had my twin brothers when I was 18, I was still at home for another year or so), my parents didn't really have a clue about raising a child. My dad was strict on weird things, my mom was the coddler. Then when it was just my mom and me, as a teen, well, there wasn't much leadership from her, no guidance, just ranting and raving when I had done wrong.
Dh grew up very similarly. Only heard something from the parents when you did wrong, but, in a lot of cases, you weren't aware you had done wrong until that point.

So, in a way, we're the kind of look to what our parents have done and do the opposite hehehe

Yeah that's us too Tara. We learned from our parents "mistakes" i guess you could call it and are trying to be better parents for our kids.

I guess I would need to know what you mean by "strict"; everyone has a different opinion of what "strict" is. We expect that our five (almost six) and two (almost three) year olds both speak respectfully to adults, don't hit, don't call each other names, say please and thank you, share with others, are gentle with our animals and babies, speak when they are spoken to, listen when they are instructed, obey when they are told to do something and if they have an opinion about something, to express it with love, not frustration or anger.

BUT, we also know that our children are just that... children, and that this is all a learning experience, and that they won't learn all this over night. They are *human*, they are *children*, and lose their cool just like we do...

So, while we DO expect a lot from them, there is also a big window for mistake, forgiveness and grace from us; just as we (as Christians) receive GRACE from Christ Jesus! It's hard to be "strict" without being too strict, and be "laid back" without letting your kids walk all over you.

Was that too long of a response?

DH and I are pretty close on discipline, but I am a little more strict probably. It's most likely since I am home with the kids all day and am thinking about parenting more often than he does.

Amy that is me I stay at home with the girls and so I have become the main disciplinarian (sp) and one thing that is sooo not fair....daddy can change the tone in his voice ever so slightly and their world comes crashing down and they do what he says.....how is that fair....lol I have come to realize that they are with me so much I think that they have become accustomed to my voice all the time. I am the more strict and dh is the more laid back yet if he needs to be strict with them he can be. For the most part we are the same path pretty much when it comes to parenting.

I think we can relate to about everyone here in one way or another. I am more laid back than dh BUT I do have very high expectations of our kids. Dh and I are just strict in different areas. Tv, music, movies etc are restricted by me (dh wouldnt care as much). Dad expects them to keep things tidy and so do I but dad and I have a different idea of tidy. If I can see the floor and there isnt a bad smell I cant find, its tidy to me :wink: . Dh was raised a bit differently. He hates clutter. I dont like it but its a necessary evil when you've got young kids (imho). I expect they treat each other, me, dad, and everyone else with respect. I dont think we are strict. I do think we have high expectations, but there is a lot of love and understanding.

strict (strĭkt)
adj., strict·er, strict·est.
1. Precise; exact: a strict definition.
2. Complete; absolute: strict loyalty.
3. Kept within narrowly specific limits: a strict application of a law.
4. Rigorous in the imposition of discipline: a strict parent.
5. Exacting in enforcement, observance, or requirement: strict standards. See synonyms at severe.
6. Conforming completely to established rule, principle, or condition: a strict vegetarian.
7. Botany. Stiff, narrow, and upright

Going by the definition, no I don't think dh or I are particularly strict. We're laid back people by nature, so it is reflected in our parenting style. To be honest, I really don't even know if we are strict or not :?

I'll probably end up being the stricter one, since I've been teaching in the inner city for 13 yrs. :wink: DH has a more laid back personality, anyway...

I wouldn't say we are necessarily "strict", as we're both pretty laid back, but we do expect certain things. Respect and manners are at the top of the list. We try not to sweat the small stuff and we definitely pick our battles. Not everything has to be made into an "issue", yk? Wisdom definitely comes with age and experience. Although I'm in no way saying I'm "all wise"....our way of parenting has improved over the years as we learn to let go of certain things and allow God to deal with US about things, yk? Anger, control issues, etc. Allowing our kids to be who God made them to be, not what WE want them to be.

Being a single parent, I think I am both; I make and enforce all our household rules, but I also let my hair down to have fun with my kids.

I am the rules, routine parent. I keep a tight ship. We do this at this time; we do that at this time. It is time for bed. Not too much candy. It is time for devotions, turn off the TV. That song isn't godly, do you think you should listen to that? I don't like this movie...too much violence.

My DH is more laid back. Live and let live. Things aren't always so BIG as I would make them out...he would say anyway. He gives some and I give some; so hopefully there is balance. His word is always the last word though. Sometimes I have seriously drawn blood from my tongue as I bite it! LOL! But on BIG issues we are both middle of the road now that we have older teens. We see our roles as guiding and influence, within certain boundaries of course.

Hubby grew up with NO RULES and is laid back. I grew up very strict and tend to be strict. But on big items we both seem to have found middle ground. At least for now. Check with me tomorrow! It might change!


I am totally on that same path Leslie... Had to agree that is exactly how I am! (Minus having older children... :wink: )

I am strict when it comes to manners, following the golden rule. I am the primary caregiver for our children as my husband works outside of the house but you can believe that if daddy says NO you better obey. They listen to daddy much better than me most of the time. However we have a great communication and parent together in a fair and loving matter. Love and Logic is the best!!!

I think we are both in different ways. I am more strict in some area and layed back in some and visa versa for him. I think I have more patience than he does, or maybe it just that I am more used to it. If Wes is a bit winey, Jake will say "He is crabby today" and I am like " I think he is fine". I guess it because since I am here with him all day it doesn't effect me the same.