Too proud to ask for help...

[harmony5]

I don't know if this is the correct place to post this, but since I am pregnant and this is all stemming from being pregnant, I figured this is the right place.

I so need some help. I am 35 weeks (tomorrow) and am miserable. My pelvis and my back hurts so bad, there are days I can barely walk. I'm tired and frustrated and am just ready to get this show on the road. KWIM?

So, lately, my house looks like pigs live here because I haven't really been able to put much effort into it. My dh works a lot. My two older children have baseball and cheerleading practices and games, etc. So, it's just Preston and me at home a lot. I make him pick up his own toys. He's 2 and knows what to do (even though my neice says I'm a mean mommy for making him pick up his own stuff :roll: ).

My main problem is laundry and just the deep cleaning. I like things to be a certain way. Like, I (usually) dust my entire house every Monday. Well, not lately. The other day I noticed dust build up on the bookshelf and honestly, I wanted to cry. Silly, I know, but when you see the pile of laundry, the dust, the dirty oven, etc.... it is aggrivating. I want to clean my baseboards and chair rails and scrub my bathtubs. DH has been cleaning the tubs but we all know how that can be. :wink: I want to wash my walls and windows. I want to nest!! And I can't without overdoing it.

But, you know what, I am too proud to ask anyone for help. I mean, I am the one who got pregnant, right? It's not anyone else's problem that my house is slowly getting messier by the minute, right? I have been on my own since I was 15 and I have NEVER asked anyone for anything. I don't know why I'm like that. When my neice was pregnant, we all got together and went and cleaned her house from top to bottom right before the baby was born. We also took turns with her toddler so she could have some days of rest before the baby came. Oh man, that sounds nice, but I won't dare ask anyone to do this for me. Unfortunately, I'd probably even decline if they offered. Which I don't think they will right now because it's tax season and they all work in the same CPA office.

So, yesterday and Monday Courtney was sick and I took her to the doctor yesterday. Instead of calling someone to watch Preston so I wouldn't have to wrestle him in and out of the car and chase him around in the doctor's office, I just took him with me. That was fun! :roll: :wink: So, yeah, why do I do this and why don't I just suck it up and ask someone for some help!!

Anyone else feel this way??

Lori

[love2bmom]

I am terrible with asking for help... my mom tells me I have issues. I am in a great church with a very supportive care group. However I feel like I am putting people out if I ask for help. It is by the Grace of God that I am starting to break down that pride barrier & asking for help.

I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.. that includes the people he puts in our lives to help us!!

Ask for help!!! It blesses others & helps you out!!

Hey if I could I would buzz right over to help!!!

Hugs sweetie & just learn to ask. WE ALL want to Supermom's, but we all have our limits!!

[SupermansLady]

I too am like this. I hate to take help with anything when it is offered. Especially from my DH. I feel like I should be the one cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids...I guess it's the old fashioned woman in me. I don't feel like those are the things a man should be doing in the house. So when I am sick or just tired and don't really feel like doing it, he offers and it just makes me mad cause I know (or think I do) that I should be doing it myself.
I have learned though that it's worth it to let someone else when they offer or to at least ask when I really, really need it cause it helps my attitude so much when I can relax and still see that things are getting done.
I'll be praying for you. I remember that nesting phase from my first pregnancy. I hope that someone steps forward to help you soon!

[breezykc2]

I'm that way too...the only person I feel okay asking for help...is MOM! Call in the troops! I can't stand a mess anytime and the end of my pregnancy this time I was spotting and on restricted duty...so thank God, my Mom came and cleaned my house and washed the bedding every two weeks...all I had to do was general pick-up. My mother in law made casseroles and froze them and two nights a week, I just defrosted dinner and it lasted two nights!! When you can't ask others, Like me!, always ask a MOM! :lol:
Oh, and my helpful tip that I did myself was have my husband put his dirty clothes in the washing machine each day and I did the same one piece at a time with mine and my two year olds...when full, I ran it and kept an empty basket on top and when clean would put them in...my hubby knew to look for the full basket and I put them away the next day after he carried the basket back up...ended up with many small loads but much more manageable and no llifting!

[Jypsi]

I am truly sorry that you are having this difficulty with your back and your home.

Let me propose something to you...Have you ever heard of or read the Five Love Languages? The basics is that everyone has a different Love language that fills their 'love tank'. They can be:

Acts of Touch
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time

Now while your love language may be acts of service because you prefer to do things yourself to take care of others, what if someone you know also has that love language and by helping you it allows them to do what comes natural for them and to use the love language that God gave them.

check out this site for more info..
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html

remember that God created us as a community species, we thrive so much more when we work together for a common goal!

[buttercup_97140]

I tend to love to give out help, but have a hard time asking or accepting it too. One thing I was told by many of my fellow brother and sisters in Christ is that we are just that, family, and it's a blessing to be able to provide ministry and service to a fellow brother or sister in need. I know Jesus would jump up at a moments notice to come and help me if needed, and we as Christians strive to be like Christ....so let others have their chance to serve you.
Now I would understand you not wanting to ask for help if you were lazy and just wanted someone else to carry your burden so you can stay lazy or if you were taking advantage of others, but it seems like you truly NEED help....
Remember, if we didn't need help, Jesus wouldn't have needed to come to earth and save us...yes this is the major extreme case, but hey, we are weak imperfect humans, and we are given gifts from the Lord and sometimes it comes in the way of help!

I encourage you to pray for guidance on who and how to ask! The Lord knows your troubles, and can put it on someone's heart to help you...but you do need to ask! :wink:

I will lift you up before the Lord as he reminds me.....blessings to you!
Amber

[4HisGlory]

If you can't ask family because of tax season, what about your chuch, or best friend. You could just mention it to a close church friend that you need help, and they could get a group of women together to help clean your house. I would be so blessed if I was asked to do that for a friend. You shouldn't feel bad asking for help, you have to let your needs known to those who love you. I will be praying that a group of people gather around you and help you....just don't forget to ask.