Ok I think I have asked this before but trying to work on things at home.

How do you spend your day?

Well, lil sis, you probably have my life memorized from my journal and my blog! LOL! :lol:

My Bible time bright and early. (5:00)

Morning chores when the kids get up (showers (hair, faces, teeth), bedrooms and bathrooms spotless, pets fed). (8:00)

Breakfast for all. (9:00)

The kids' Bible study. (9:30)

my puter time and work on finances. (10'ish)

Half an hour break for kids. (10:00)

Then we spend an hour cleaning the whole house from top to bottom, including putting in a load of laundry. (10:30)

Start school. (11:30)

Break to make lunch. (12:30)

Eat lunch while doing schoolwork (school goes til 4).

Start dinner (between 3 and 4)

It's been the same for years and years!

I have downtime and time to do one thing or another while the kids are focused on assignments. For instance, I do my workout in the afternoon. :-D

Also, some things take less time than I've allotted them. For example, morning chores only take the kids 45 minutes (Scotty way less time than that), so they have 15 (or more) minutes to get on puter, etc. And cleaning the house takes the kids half an hour to *maybe* 45 minutes to do their parts (more on Monday chore day). I work beyond that. So they have another 15-25'ish minutes of downtime before school. Sometimes I finish early, too, and sometimes I do a little more. But we DO always stick to our start times for everything, otherwise we won't get done.... and we really have to! [OK]

When my kids were littler, the mornings looked pretty much the same. I was usually wearing a baby, or baby in playpen in front of Baby Praise or Mother Goose Gospel. School for Pre K's through maybe 2nd grade was only about 2.5 hours of solid work. I guess in the beginning, we had school from 10 til 12 when it was just Scotty schooling. Our morning schedule must have looked really different then, but I don't remember how it was (and of course we had no puters, lol). When school got harder, it went further and further into the afternoon. Until old enough for school, all babes napped from either 1-3 or 2-4, depending on the season of our lives and Husband's work schedule.

Zoe, if my kids were in school, our schedule would look really different. I'd figure out what the kids *had* to do (getting to school on time, homework, etc) and work around that. I'd want the kids to do some chores, but it would likely be a lot less than they do now. They'd at least be expected to take beautiful care of themselves and their rooms, and of course ALWAYS clean up after themselves (their toys, dishes, clothes, etc)! But I'd want them to have enough downtime/playtime and family time in the afternoons and evenings.

[loveyou]

Joy [welcomewave]

Thanks Joy

It just seems that no matter how hard I try I just can not get it right. Then if I do get something into place it falls apart and we end up back at square one.

I just get so frustrated with everything and it has been hard these past coupld of weeks cause of Sinead recovering and not sleeping.

Right now she has yet another 2 weeks off school as the school have broken up for the holidays. I have these 2 weeks to focus on family and get something into place. I do want to use this time to have my bible time and be close to God. Sinead will start to get her bible time on a night as we have not done that in a while.

I just find it so hard to stick to

Okay, my friend, what do you try to implement (specifically), and where/why does it fall apart? Maybe we can sort out where the problems lie and tweak things until they're realistic and doable.

I do totally understand frustration, lack of motivation, stress, things not going as planned, trying to start something new and feeling like you're trying to pick up a mountain and move it with your bare hands... Life is crazy-challenging! [hug]

[lovewuvu]

Joy [welcomewave]

My main problem is not meeting times planned and never having enough time.

For example I will give sinead instructions to do something but she nags and will not get things done so I give up. I am a push over and I think that is my problem.

I do not tend to set times now cause there is no point as we can not stick to them. I am always so tired and fed up of everything that I let her get away with way too much.

Okay... What if you were to start small and work your way up?

How would it be if you were to come up with a little plan for Sinead, and then work *with* her, coaching and encouraging, until she has it right?

For instance, let's start with a morning routine. How would you like just your morning routine to look for Sinead? (forget your stuff for now, other than maybe brushing your teeth and grabbing a super fast bite to eat for energy)

[heart]

Ok Zoe, Im getting it now. All this stuff you have going on, not being able to get things in order and feeling frustrated, combined with all the things you have going on personally, it just takes me back to a time in my life when things were super stressful. I was living on my own in the UK with no family, no church, I had just moved out of a women's refuge, my dh was in rehab and I had three babies, well my girls were 3 and my son just turned 2. My life was CRAZY!! This was all before I had a computer and was introduced to cmoms or anything like that. I really felt like I was out on a limb. I was precisely where you seem to be.

You can go ahead and keep trying to implement structure. Thats going to be important. However, one thing I am going to advise, and I mean this with all my love and EXPERIENCE!! Cut yourself some slack! You are actually doing very well and Im certain Daddy in heaven is looking down on you beeming!! I bet he wants you to know just how pleased He is with you and your efforts! What I wonder if he wants you to know is that you are just in the middle of this. You havent failed! You are in the process of 'getting there'. And you WILL get there! Thats a promise. I want you to read this and be encouraged! I want you to walk in joy knowing that you are getting there! I DO know how hard that is, bc Ive walked and felt exactly the way you are feeling now.

In fact Zoe, I spent the better part of the last three years in a very similar place as you are right now. I felt very discouraged. I didnt know if I could even trust God, but I knew I could trust no one else, so I threw all my eggs in His basket. You are going to get to a place where you are confident, able, in charge, but at the same time reliant on Christ for everything. Thats Ultimately where you want to be. It can be scary, learning to wait on Him for everything, but it seems that thats they exact place you are in now. I had spent a good 10-11 years in that place and I had my ups and downs. You will get to a place where you feel more secure, you will get there!

I didnt want to go into my day bc my days, while they are a lot more relaxed and less stressed then they used to be, they are still... not the norm. I spend a lot of time chilling and resting bc of the chronic illness I have. I went thru a lot of guilt and feeling like I was a lazy git bc of it, but now Im at peace about it. The Lord is in control.

Saying that... bc of my illness, and bc of the way dh and I just ARE, we are very fluid. We dont have schedules, routines often go out the window. We are very spontaneous. Saying that... There are things that are SO important to ME that I dont like to go a day without 'practicing them'. There's the obvious things like bathing and personal hygene, cooking and cleaning. Its about prioritising. Whats most important on that day? The other things that are of the utmost importance to me is teaching my kids to read and LOVE the Word. Bible study time is just so important to us. Now, we will have an Uber busy day one day and actually miss a day. When my kids were Sinead's age, Zoe, I didnt stress about it. I made, and I mean I MADE time to spend in the Word and in prayer, usually Zoe, I spend my prayer time BEGGING God for strength to get thru. I felt the need to pour my needs out before Him. He never let me down! I got the strength to get thru, but I had to be on my knees Zoe. And I had to not let myself sink into dispair or self pity. That sometimes does take effort. I would pray 'Lord, I dont want to feel this way!! Help me!!' And He always did. Life became fun despite the circumstances I faced. God has the power and...stuff... to inject Joy into ANY circumstance.

Now, when mine were Sinead's age, and with what we were going thru, Zoe, I too was in a place where I was learning 'how-this-motherhood/being-a-christian-thing' worked. Things often fell apart. Things often didnt work. You will get there. The priorities are what you could work on figuring out. Dont stress. The major priorities are feeding, cleaning, bedtime, and yes, bible study/prayer time, for you first, then when you get that down, for Sinead too.

When you are frustrated, what do you do? Do you call out to God? Do you ever say 'God I am just so frustrated right now! Help me!!'? If not, do that.

Thanks guys

Gen i find it so hard to cut myself slack I expect things to be perfect and when it does not go that way I get upset. It is a flaw in my character that I hate so much. I am working on being healed by the Lord but at the moment I have not had a chance to read the book by joyce meyer yet although I have started it.

Joy Sinead has mini lists around her room of what I expect her to do but for an easy life I am way to slack on her. In a morning she is meant to:

Get up
Open her curtains
Use the bathroom
Get washed brush hair and teeth
Get dressed for the day

At the moment as I say she does none of this, she does not look after her toys and her bedroom is a mess. Also she does not respect or listen to me, I find it hard to handle her when we are out and she tends to increase her defiant behaviour when we are out as she knows how to push my buttons. I have notice as well that she has a habit of repeating things that have been said. We have private family talks, you know the kind where you discuss whats been going on and she has repeated it to people.

I have to give her, her due though as yesterday she was supportive of me when I had a panic attack when shopping. But she is so hit and miss she mirrors me in many ways and I just want so much for things to be together.

I used to want the perfect life, ya know like you see on ad's. The perfect mom, with her husband and perfect children in the nice house surrounded by the white picket fence. For some reason it has always been my dream but I know that I can not have that as it does not exists.