feeling guilty

[4HisGlory]

Yesterday I was so sick, I couldn't keep anything down and threw up 5 times. This morning I still feel nauseas, I have a headache, and I feel so weak. I feel like I am on the verge of throwing up again also. I have been thinking lately that I wish I had never gotten pg, and I am feeling so guilty about that. but I am just so miserable and am just tired of feeling this way. I know all of this is a good sign that the baby is doing well, I just don't know if I can take 7 more weeks of this.

[SupermansLady]

I am just now at 13 weeks and finally fully getting over the whole morning sickness thing. I was pretty miserable from 7-9 weeks and then just a few bouts with it. But let me say, there were several times during those worst few weeks that I felt just like you have been feeling. Usually right before or right after I had "tossed my cookies". I think it's natural to not enjoy being so sick. So don't feel bad. It sounds like you know you want the baby, it's really just the sickness that you don't want.

You are feeling and acting like every other completely normal hormonal pregnant woman. (Myself included!) Feel free to vent anytime. Trust me I understand exactly what you are feeling right now.

[myjoyoverflows]

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* I remember feeling the SAME way the first few weeks...I didn't know what I had gotten myself into. There's nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do. You just gotta keep in mind, "this too shall pass". You're not going to feel this way forever, I PROMISE you that! :D Being a Mom is full of pushing your wants aside for your kids. Consider this to be a first step. You're going through this now because later on, you're going to have that little one in your arms...when that day comes, you're going to think to yourself about how worth while it's been...even the days that you feel horrible, they are all worth it! You're pregnant!! YAY!! It's not going to be easy...you're not always going to feel very good...but I KNOW that you'll be able to get through it if you keep looking ahead to what the end result will be. Take one day at a time...:) I hope that you feel better soon!!

[Crissyanna]

I remember being miserable like that too. And even wishing I wasn't pregnant. Then, feeling guilty for it and thinking to myself that if anything happened to this baby, I would totally lose it (I lost our first one at 9 weeks) as I didn't think I could deal with it again.

It is normal to feel guilty for thinking stuff like that. It is normal to think stuff like that. I look back now on the time I was sick (to the point of even throwing up at work a few times) and realize how short that time was in reality. Now, I have a four month old (as of today) and wonder where the time went. It will pass. Until it does, take it as easy as you can, try to just eat whatever sounds good. Try sucking on hard candy. Just make sure it doesn't have any artifical sweetners in it (that can make it all the worse). That can help a little, and that way you will absorb some sugar through your mouth so you won't feel quite as bad.

Just think, in just a few more months, you will be snuggling that teeny tiny newborn babe in your arms. Smelling it's sweet smell, smiling at the cute little faces they make. Focus on the outcome. You will get through this.

Go Becky, go Becky! You can do this!!!!!

[EmJo]

Ditto the other ladies. At my worst, I even wished I would miscarry so I could just feel normal again. Isn't that horrible? And then feel like the most selfish person in the world, and guilty-guilty-guilty.

But I glance over at Ben sleeping next to me on the couch, his little mouth open, and his tiny fingers curled, and I think, it was all worth it!

So what you're experiencing is miserable, but normal, and yes, you can endure! I'll be praying for you. [hug]

[~Tara~]

Oh man, I can relate too. So, you can see, you're not the only one who has ever felt that way. It *is* hard at times to keep positive. And when you just feel like crud...even harder!

Just try to relax, stay positive and pray. Repent and pray for His help to do better, to maintain a better attitude. He knows you love that baby and would be devastated if anything happened, He also knows this is a rough time. Just admit to Him that you were wrong and you are seeking His divine help to get you through.

I'll pray the sickies leave you soon.

[owens_mommy]

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I didn't have a hard time in the beginning, but have had other problems more recently and I have felt exactly the same way. It is definitley not fun being sick all the time and I think your feelings are completely normal- so try not to feel guilty. Just look forward to your sickness passing and remember that the 2nd trimester is usually wonderful. Then you will really enjoy being pregnant and will be looking forward to meeting you little one. I hope you start feeling better soon.

[Ren]

true confessions- I've had cramps lately that I've been tempted to worry about but, then I think that if I did miscarry I wouldn't feel so aweful anymore and I could go back to living my life. I'm also discouraged about how much longer we have of this so, (((((hugs becky)))))) I'm there with you babe. I have had a (literally just) couple of baby reality moments and have thought about the verse "for the joy that was set before him he endured the cross" in hebrews, right? We have joy coming our way in such a *realitively* short time but, it doesn't make the cross any more fun. . .we just have something to strive for and look forward to. *smooches dear* -ren

[4HisGlory]

Thank you ladies for all your love, I am feeling better physically and emotionally. It was just so helpful to know that my feelings and thoughts are normal, and that I am not a bad mommy. It is so hard when you are in the thick of it to be able to look past the moment. God has given me grace and not only has got me through that day, but also has given me a new perspective. After my day of throwing up, I began to think of all those other people, not only pg, but also those who have cancer and other diseases that are throwing up daily just how I was. I know my ichies will end, but what about those people who don't know when theirs will, or that it will only end when they go HOME. ya know. It just gave me a knew perspective and then my trial seemed so small. I have been praying for all those people who contantly don't feel well and are throwing up, at times when I am feeling not my best.

[~Tara~]

Oh what a wonderful way to turn it into a positive Becky ... to pray for others in YOUR time of sorrow. Good for you!!

I'll have to remember that one myself. It's so much easier to take the pity party route. :oops:

[irishmum2boys]

Hi Becky
I am hoping your feeling a little better. I was really sick with my 1st pregnancy and I remember being scared that i was going to hurt the baby since I seemed to be throwing up so hard! Then with my 2nd ds I had m/s one day, it was such a different pregnancy.
I had my gall bladder removed after 1st ds was born so I am wondering if that was anything to do with being so sick the first time?

Anyway I really hope you get some relief soon, hugs to you!

[gamommyto4girls]

Since I'm expecting my 4th little girl I understand completely. Although we are all great moms- we are only human. It's tough to explain just how "yucky" you can feel with m/s and just how emotionally and physically debilitating it can be. Thankfully I can say that each preg. for me got better. The first was a nightmare where I was in bed and in and out of hospital for 6 weeks losing 14lbs. This time I only felt "queasy" most days between weeks 8-12. But believe me I know- when you're in the midst of it 4 weeks is a VERY long time!
Praying for others is helpful to me. It does have a wonderful way of putting our own troubles back into perspective. Also, since we're making true confessions here... I know that I (and most of my girlfriends) have all had moments during pregnancy where we frankly wished we weren't- just for a minute or two. I've always been nervous during major life changes and let's face it this is a biggie. I find myself leaning heavily on the Lord, my family, and caring girl friends these days.
On a brighter note- while I'm personally not the sterotypical glowing pregnant woman I am IMHO a glowing new mom. For me the preg. is something which I endure as I wait for my blessed prize at the finish line.
I hope each day gets better for you...

Beth