This might be a first, idk but my kids have this weird thing about having a particular color of plate, bowl, cup, etc. It's driving me nuts. This morning I put cereal in an orange bowl for youngest and she threw a fit. All out tantrum. I dealt with the tantrum but she was still insisting that I put it in a purple bowl. I told her I would not but that she would have to eat out of the orange. That we don't choose the color. She eventually gave in and ate it.

At 3 and 5 would you let your kids pick which color utensil they eat from? In some ways I feel like what's the harm in letting them pick but then at the same time, it's like you can't be picky, kwim. I don't know. It's frustrating though.

I give my kids small choices like that *sometimes*. I'll ask them if they want blueberry or strawberry jelly or milk or juice or something like that. I think thats ok as long as they understand that they are not allowed to pitch a fit if they aren't given a choice, yk? You did the right thing not letting her have the purple bowl after she alreay threw a fit, that's for sure. I don't see any harm in letting her pick next time though.. UNLESS you only have one each of that color and theirs a chance the two will argue over who gets what color, lol.

As soon as my kids start griping about getting the 'right' bowl, their choices are taken away. They get what they get. And they will *not* throw a fit about what they get...or guess what...they just won't get any food then. Sounds harsh, but it's shut mine up and I've not yet had to withhold food.

If they argue that so n so had 'that' one last time..again, choices are removed.

I don't have a problem with them choosing what they want, like you said, no big deal. But when they start making it a big deal, then they lose their privilege.

Agreeing with what Ashlee said. :mrgreen:

I think this is just a little one exercising her control. LOL! It's a huge, important job to teach our babes the balance of being able to make their own choices, but needing to ultimately (and always) submit to authority.

It's not about the bowl. She wanted her way and not yours. Time to learn that when YOU give her the option to choose, she may. But when you are exercising YOUR authority, she has to submit and obey.

Our kiddies need to learn this principal if they're going to learn how to lay down their life and their will to follow and obey that 'still, small voice'. [lovesmile]

One last thing. I'd ask myself if my child was feeling out of control for any particular reason. Again, it's not about the bowl. And I'm not saying to give in to the child (no way!). But assess what's happening with your kidlet to see if she's harboring some insecurity or feeling like she needs to fight to 'hold her place' in the family... and why this might be the case. Then you can work on that. Firm boundaries, totally consistency in rules and discipline, gobs and gobs of praise/approval/affirmation, and special alone time (dates with mommy) are some good ideas.

Love you, Sarah! [heartbeat]

Joy [welcomewave]

Thanks, everything that was said reaffirmed some of what I was thinking in my mind. I try and give them as many choices as I can within reason. I really can't see why they can't have a choice of utensil color but at the same time when I put something in front of them then that should be the end of it. There is no choice.

Joy, I know that my kids have been a bit clingier now that #3 is on the way so I am wondering if maybe they are acting out a bit in trying to have control over something. Youngest especially since she is no longer the "baby" of the family. I am trying as hard as I can to work in as much extra time as I can with them whenever I can. I am thinking that whenever I can, giving them some choices in this area would be a good thing.

Thanks gals. [lovewuvu]

I agree witht the other moms. I love to give them choices and if I know they like a certain thing (and its clean) I will usually use it or give the choice. If I have already put it in something or don't have the time to give choices then they need to accept that and move on. Usually isn't a big issue here but it has come up from time to time.