I posted this in the Elem. forum, but since I need advice today, I thought I better post here too--hope that's OK!
My kindergartner brought home a library book we weren't thrilled about yesterday. Nothing awful, but as the review on the back said--some "gross humor"--poems about your body falling apart (hair comes out, stuff falls out of your nose...etc..) ANYWAY, I read it and told my daughter I didn't want her to read it--I knew it was her AR book, meaning she'd have a quiz on it today, but this is an extra program she's in and I said she'd just have to return it and ask for a different book.
Well she got home today and I asked how that went and she admitted she read it in carpool and took the quiz on it.
We have had this same struggle with our very strong willed child for a good 3 years now. She is generally a rule-following good girl, but she seems to constantly undermine our authority.
So my husband wants her to have to stay in her room tonight when the babysitter comes and her 3 yr old brother will be allowed to play with the babysitter. Our daughter will stay in her room 2 hours, until we're home.
Is this too harsh? Any thoughts??

The first thing that comes to mind for me is that because you are going to be out, the responsibility for enforcing the discipline rests completely on the babysitter. For me, that isn't something that I'm completely comfortable with, nor may be the babysitter. (Depends on who your sitter is, I suppose.) Either way, I think I would be more inclined to choose a form of discipline that you or your dh are able to supervise/enforce. Just my thoughts...

Excellent point--I hadn't even thought of that part. I was worried the b sitter (this is only her 3rd time coming) may think we're way too strict--I was honestly just worried about my pride! I hadn't thought about her, thanks for the insight!

Keeping up with our kids is so hard some days! But I do think, particularly since she is 'new' to your family, that having her be responsible for supervising that could be tricky. (Kids always test boundaries with someone new!) I hope you are able to figure out something that works for you and your daughter. :)

I agree with Kim. Although I don't think staying in her room for 2 hrs is too harsh of a punishment.. especially if she's going to have access to toys, video games, tv or whatever else. I do think you and dh should be there to enforce though. Hope you find something that works to get the message through to your 6yr old! I have a strong willed 6yr old girl too and it can be tricky sometimes finding some way to get through to her!

I have to be honest here, I'm not sure that a six year old is capable of setting aside the pressure to be part of a group, and go against her teacher by asking for a new book. Sure, she understood that you didn't want her to read the book or do the test on it, but in the moment, when she knew that her teacher was expecting that of her, I bet the teacher's expectations trumped the parent's expectations.

I totally agree--now! I had posted this in Elem forums too and gamommyto4girls replied that the pressure to take an AR quiz may have been bigger than I realized. It struck a chord with me, and I talked with my daughter and realized that yes, she did not know what to do, and was afraid of getting in trouble.
So, we ended up letting it go and actually I learned in all this that I needed to loosen up a bit on the rules with her. I asked her to give me 2 rules she'd like me to take away--one she said was having to choose water with snack at school (instead of juice), when the snack is a sweet...so, I took it away...along with a limit on the # of stuffed animals she sleeps with :)

In parenting our first born (her) I know we need to loosen up a bit--we started out so "by the book', but with her 3 yr old sibling I seem to have a better perspective on which battles to fight--just need to transfer that thinking to her!

Thanks all,
k

I will say even though she did it and knew she wasn't supposed to instead of punishing her maybe you and dh sit and have a good talk with her. Since you say she normally follows the rules. My daughter who is in 1st grade reads all the time and takes AR test. This is something they do in our school here and not really an option. She has never brought home an inappropriate book but there have been a few instances where a teacher or someone would tell the students they needed to do this or that, but it wasn't something that really HAD to do but because an authority figure in school said so our children tend to think if they don't do what they were told he or she will get in trouble....I hope this makes sense.

LOL maybe I should read all posts before I post....lol.