So for awhile, DH was saying that 2 kids was enough.

I didn't necessarily feel 100% the same way, but I thought, hey give him time. So now, he says that 3 is fine (someday, not right now though), but on one condition. We have to get Hannah behaving well consistently.

She throws a lot of screaming fits and is rather defiant. Very, very strong willed.

If anybody has any ideas on how to discipline strong willed children, please give me hints. I'm obviously not the brightest bulb in the box when it comes to discipline and I know that I've not been the most consistent always and have failed plenty at this. But I want to redeem the time and catch up to where I should be. I've been trying, but boy it's hard.

TIA!

Ruth I wish I could help you with words of wisdom :( Never delt with the situation. I think it's great that DH is open to another lil' one :-D
Ms. Hannah will over come this (((HUGS)))

I know how strong willed children can be as my youngest DD is one. The most important thing for me is to not break her spirit but to break her will. In many ways, I like that she is stong willed in that in the future she won't bend to peer pressure as much and I feel that I can trust her more to stand up for herself and what she knows is right. I don't want to break that completely as I think those are wonderful characteristics for her to have.

On that note, the two things that have worked with Rhy are consistency (obviously, I am sure everyone else will say the same thing) and remaining calm but firm when punishing the behavior. If you yell and scream or get frustrated you have lost control of the situation and a strong willed child is more likely to try to take that control from you. You are in charge and the only way to be confident in your authority and to express that to your child is to remain firm and CALM. I have struggled with being calm until I saw that raising my voice didn't help the situation at all.

Hugs! It can be challenging but VERY worth it!!!

Sara

Our youngest is very strong willed, but also with that there is a great sense of determination! We often see it as a negative thing but if we channel it correctly it is amazing what can happen! M decided at 3 yrs of age he was going to ride a bike without training wheels, even though we were kind of unsure we said ok lets try it and in 2 days he had it figured out! He was so determined to ride that bike, so that is an example where it is a great thing! He LOVES his bike!
I have noticed with M that he loves projects, esp. yard work type stuff and sweeping, things that seem to help channel that energy into something worthwhile. I think when they are set a goal and they accomplish it there is a sense of pride. My ds needs extremely clear boundaries, I cannot sway with what I say and following through is extremely imp.
I think sometimes when we don't expect a lot we don't get a lot and so often I get consumed with the behavior that frustrates me rather than trying to focus on what to do to help change it!
I am not sure if it is about behaving well, I feel it is about respecting and responding to the boundaries that you set up for her! Children can behave well not always out of respect but because they are being controlledand yet inwardly they are rebelling!
Maybe setting her some goals! I have to say it is a daily thing with my ds and I don't think I will ever change the strong willedness and I don't want to but I want it to be glorifying to God!

I hope this helps! I think every family has a strong willed child, also please don't feel it is a reflection on you as a mom. Your daughter will probably end up doing some great things :) I am thinking that there a re alot of strong willed children that are now very influential. I think they are also probably the world shakers too, those that are out there doing great things for God too
Hang in there!

I know JoyLynn has some awesome advice too, I talked with her a while ago about my ds as I was really struggling and it was so encouraging :)

As Cash has gotten older...more independent and way more vocal...I've seen a LOT of these "fits". And I myself and rather...um...strong willed too [halo]...put us together and it can be quite a spectacle!!!!

:mrgreen:

I agree with others - consistency and keeping yourself calm while discipling has helped tremendously. With Cash, it's often a matter of just wanting to do something by himself that he isn't yet big enough to do, (big brothers can and he wants to but just can't). So we compromise...let me help him..or bubba help him...and sometimes it's just a flat, "no Cash you cannot." and when he says "yes I am!" or continues in the behavior we warn, if he doesn't stop, we say, "do you want to be obedient or do you want a spanking and no toys today?" For now, that works usually...rarely do we have to actually spank or take away his toys and make him sit in corner while others play. But it has had to be done...and the actual punishment part has been harder on me than I expected. I don't want to have to enforce, but it had to be done. Doing it a few times - consistently - was definitely worth the effort.

(((HUGS))) Praying for you! Us strong willed kids do turn out alright! Even if our parents don't know how we ever will! :mrgreen::mrgreen:

Dainie is also rather strong willed. We know where she got it too (thanks, Grandma...). Anyway, she is a very social individual. We have learned that removing her from others until she calms down works. We don't want to listen to a tirade, and normally it is just for attention. Remove the attention, and she has no reason to be screaming. She'll carry on for a bit in her room with the door shut to see if it will bring us back, but we won't open her door until she has calmed down and stopped screaming, yelling, banging on the door for a wihle.

Also, we are learning to control her triggers. We've seen that when she is getting very hungry or over-tired, it is worse. So, we feed her and put her to bed at a reasonable hour (at least try to, and this child doesn't go to sleep anymore at nap time either...).

I read James Dobson's book the Strong Willed Child. Well, half of it back when I was teaching. It had some good advice. And I also like How to Make Children Mind Without Losing Yours and Have a New Kid by Friday. Both by Kevin Leman. They had some great ideas for consequences and such. I want to read Lisa Welchel's Creative Discipline, but our library doesn't have a copy and I don't like to mess with inter-library loan around here.

We've learned, consistancy, remove the attention/audience, replace with good attention (Dainie just eats up praise) and avoiding the triggers. A lot of work, but it has improved, well, most of the time. HTH.

Thanks ladies, for all your helpful advice. I will re-read this thread in more detail later, when I'm ready to write notes on this.