There once was a time when little boys were to act like young men. They said "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" to ALL adults. They would never dream of talking back to or otherwise disrespecting these adults. They would open doors for women and children. They would stand when a woman entered or left a room. They would not be seated at the dinner table until the mother was in and seated. They were expected to remove their hats when they entered a building.

How many of these things are still going on today in America's homes?

Just curious ;)


And a question while I'm here...
My boys rarely wear hats, but when they do, they are not allowed to wear them into the church building and are not allowed to wear them at the table for meals.
Now..today's fashion has led to the wearing of these 'sock caps' at least as much as the old 'ball cap' of my day. Ought the same rules apply? I mean, I know for sure I would require mine to remove their caps of any sort, when entering the church building. Yeah, I think they'd have to go at meal time too.

But, just wondering, not sure if I'm even making sense here now LOL ... if you stuck to the 'old' ways of removing caps when entering a building, would you apply that to these 'sock caps' as well?
What about wearing caps of any sort around the house, is that acceptable? For you? In general, today?

Well, I have two boys. We make sure they respect adults but we don't insist on "yes maam" or "no sir" - usually "yes please, Mrs. _____" or "no thank you", etc. We also don't want them to let a door close if someone is right behind them. Hats - my boys don't seem to wear hats too much. They do wear them to church but go straight to the hook to hang it up so they might not take it off as they walk in the door but they hang it up right away. I've seen grown men wear their hat into the auditorium/sanctuary (whatever you want to call it) I think most of the time they've just forgotten they have it on. Our boys don't wear hats around the house - maybe for playing around (boy style dress up) but never while eating at the table. I think that should apply to all hats.

Janell

Tara,

I totally agree with you about maners!(our kids friends jokingly call us the manner Natzis :lol: )

The hat thing is a big pet-peeve of mine!

I think the opening doors and standing up when a woman enters/leaves a room have gone by the wayside as a direct result of the femenist movement.(no I don't think it was ALL bad...just some of the things, like the respect we have lost as women) When I was a kid men wouldn't swear or tell an off color joke in front of the ladies...now there is no respect or appreciation for "ladies". The women are expected to be just like the men. And just try to tell a lot of people that your husband is the leader of your house! If I say...I'll talk to my dh and see what he says...you'd think I sprouted another head or something! :wink:

Anyway...I think there is a real lack in the manner dept. today. I rarely see young people give up their seats on a bus...hold a door for anyone(I make my kids hold open the door no matter who is behind them) I rarely hear please and thankyou...always see hats on heads...etc...you get my point. Sorry to ramble on so, this is a sore spot with me! :wink:

We personally nix the ma'am and sir...because there was a kid in my class all through grade school who used the terms sarcastically and I still to this day only hear his whiney voice sing-songing it back to whoever was repremanding him! LOL
Definatly the please, thank you, bless you...use last name of elder unless family or very close friend with permission.....
Also, hats yes, but never in church or unless apologizing or speaking to an elder/leader about something important....not so picky about other places though.

Manners Nazi huh? Well, I could be called one most of the time. My stepchildren, well, they all need a lot of work in the manners department, but since they aren't with me most of the time, I just pray for them and don't say much.
My 3 year old understands that you say "yes/no sir/ma'am" to all adults. He even does this with some of the teenagers in our church. I don't correct him now, because I feel that he will soon enough see the difference in ages and I don't want to discourage the habit.
As for hats, well, we haven't reached that point yet with my son, but I have had to retrain my husband on it since we've been together. Apparently his mom wasn't into manners much. He is learning though. :lol: And if you ask me, please take no offense if you like them, those "sock - tabogon" style hats are the worst thing to come along since the whole baggy pants craze of a few years back! Oh, I hate, hate, hate to see people wearing them. They should be used only in cold weather only and should not be worn when you are indoors.
Okay, maybe I am too opinionated! Sorry :oops:

No hats indoors here (to the chagrin of our sons). :)

I'm not yet entirely sure *how* I feel about this sock hat thing he's wearing. This is his first day trying this particular look ;)
I usually associate it with longer hair, which my ds doesn't have. So, for now, I guess I'm ok with it. We'll see.
I have a feeling dh won't be too keen on the idea though ;)
He's a real stickler in that department teehee
I've had to get him to loosen up a bit on the hair. Not that my son wanted LONG hair, just, was expressing a desire to 'experiment' a bit...stray away from the really short 'dos we do here. I was fine with that. As long as it wasn't a stringy shaggy mess. And once I decided his look was too much and had to go, well, that was the end of the discussion. He was ok with that...ds I mean. Dh took a wee bit of cohersing hehe I had to politely tell him, "It's ok, he's not planning on the big shaggy look here, it'll be ok" His longer look didn't last. He was soon coming to me for his usual cut ;)

Anyway, that really has nothing to do with the topic LOL

OK, I have to wonder why a hat bothers everybody so much?? Maybe I am too young but, if a person wants to wear a hat, what's the big deal? Is this a case of straining after a gnat and swallowing a camel LOL?

I would rather spend my time teaching my children how to speak respectfully and properly to people, and be kind and generous, than telling them when it is or is not appropriate to wear a hat. It's just a hat... and what's on top of your head is not as important as how you treat people.

That's just me, of course, i'm young (22), so I'm not offended by the sock hats. :)

OK, I have to wonder why a hat bothers everybody so much?? Maybe I am too young but, if a person wants to wear a hat, what's the big deal? Is this a case of straining after a gnat and swallowing a camel LOL?

I would rather spend my time teaching my children how to speak respectfully and properly to people, and be kind and generous, than telling them when it is or is not appropriate to wear a hat. It's just a hat... and what's on top of your head is not as important as how you treat people.

That's just me, of course, i'm young (22), so I'm not offended by the sock hats. :)

amen! I'm also in the young boat though...

For me I think the hat thing is because of my Grandma...she was very, very uptight about hats inside and how it was a sign of respect to remove it. (see Grandma I did listen! :lol: )

I have an almost-2-year-old so its next to impossible to keep a hat on him anyway :lol:! As far as manners go, I grew up in New England but now live in NY. Let me tell you, New Yorkers are every bit as rude as the rumors let on; between the lack of manners and the litter, I am in perpetual state of culture-shock :lol:. So I am determined to teach my child(ren? [prayer] ) good old fashioned manners. Holding the door for the person behind you, opening doors for females and the elderly, not eating until everyone is seated and grace has been said, etc. He's got "please and thank you" down pat and pretty much imitates our manners, so hopefully we are setting a good example. He just learned how to stick his finger in his nose, so we need to work on that one. :lol:

We have 2 daughters and we have always taught them to speak with respect and show respect to others. Now I have to agree with kids not showing respect these days but we raise our girls to always show respect. My dh is 33 yr old and he still opens the door for me and pulls out my chair and when he does where a hat he always takes it off when sitting down to a meal. I don't know I have to say a hat should not be worn in church so why even wear one TO church. I have a funny lil story though....before dh and I met he took a girl out and it was the first and last time they ever went out. He went to open the door for her and she went totally spastic on him and told him that she was a woman who could open her own door and blah blah blah blah.....needless to say they never went out. This is how my dh was raised and the values that we are trying to instill in our children. Sorry got so long I am on a roll tonite.....hehehe

I too am young (26, late 20's is still young, right), and I dont think that hats (even stocking) hats are ok at the dinner table or in church. There is just a time and a place for everything. When Moses was speaking to the burning bush, God told him to take his shoes off, for he was standing on holy ground. It was a matter of respect. I feel the same way about hats in church. It is not that they are bad, it is just that in church it is a respect thing.

I have one son and a daughter, and although my son is only 7 months old, I intend to teach him respect for women and elders. I make my children call adults the name that they introduce themselves by. If they say, "H, I'm Joe", then it is Mr. Joe to the kids. If they say I am Mr. Smith, then obviously it is Mr. Smith.

I think please, thank you, no thank you, yes please are absolutes, but I don't make my kids say yes ma'am or no sir.

Everyone is different, but there is my 2 cents.