So I know I've brought up the subject here before... To VBAC or not to VBAC... and most of this pregnancy I've been totally *for* VBAC. But I've been doing a LOT of thinking and wondering lately and I'm completely lost as to what my decision should be...

I know some of you (Tara!) would say, Just do a home birth! And to be honest, I'm not completely against that. But. #1. Hubs is 100% horrified at the idea. #2. We are over an hour from the hospital. #3. There are NO midwives available in April (I've phoned all of them!).

So for me, the only option is a hospital birth and they may or may not think it's even an option to try for a VBAC.

The thoughts whirling around in my head are:

A C-section would be so much simpler, faster, and easier to plan babysitters for... but a vaginal birth would be so much more exciting, not to mention better for baby & mom.

A planned C/S would guarantee no last-minute surprises, whereas a planned VBAC turning into another C-section would be devastating!

A C/S is much more dignified :D No moaning, screaming, exposing flesh in weird positions for hours (ok, I realize I've never given birth vaginally, so just excuse me here... hee hee)

Cons for C/S would be longer hospital stay, longer recovery, needle in the spine, and the death of a dream... :(

Hubs would really like me to go C/S but he's completely supportive either way. One thing I've really been thinking over is maybe this is just a selfish thing of mine... what if God allowed me to have C/S so hubs would have that special first few hours of bonding with the baby while I was in recovery?? He is not a natural-born baby-lover but he bonded so well with the babies in those first moments!

Tomorrow is my first appointment with the OB so I guess I'll find out her take on the matter. And I'm considering if she's totally against the VBAC... then that's my answer and I might just cancel my doula and plan for a C/S. Hubs and I are agreed that we're not spending that $600 if it's a planned C/S.

So please pray for me tomorrow, and I'm praying too that God gives me peace one way or another and that however this baby comes out, it's healthy... and I don't have regrets...

Thanks! Oh, and Jen I'm praying for you too... we both have appointments tomorrow, huh?!

Praying for peace and safty for you and baby, no matter which decision you make.

Also prayng for you!

praying that god will make it really clear to you but also you will have a peace about it and definatly no regrets ((hugs))

Hey. I just wanted to share my experience with you.

I had an emergency c-section with my first... I was in labour, baby was in distress, oxygen mask on me, rushed to the O/R.
I really felt so much guilt and disappointment about it because I felt like my body failed me. Women have being giving birth for how many years now? And my body couldn't do what it was supposed to?
SO, with my second I decided to go with a midwife hoping for a VBAC. I LOVED the care so much. It was such a different experience.
However, when I went into labour and went to the hospital I just really wasn't progressing. They were going to send me home, but I just knew in my gut that it wasn't going to get any better. We opted for the c-section. My midwife was fully supportive.
Welllll, it ended up that the baby was breech. They didn't know until they opened me up. Weird right?!
Again, I felt so much guilt and disappointment.
When I got pregnant with my third I prayed and prayed and prayed about what to do... do I go for a VBAC or just book the section? I was really also praying for peace about the whole c-section thing.
Anyway, after praying it out for a few days, I got this awesome peace about going for a c-section and immediately started to think of all the positive things about having it planned. Babysitters, hubby taking off work etc. and I got excited! It ended up being great...a little surreal but great.

I know that c-sections aren't ideal at all. Trust me I was even mad that a vaginal birth didn't work out for me... but you know what? I look at my kids and think now who cares?! They're all so happy and healthy and I'm a great mom. I don't NEED that experience to change those facts.

Sure it would've been nice but it is what it is and I can't fight it anymore.

We'll for sure be having a fourth baby and of course I'll just be booking my c-section.

My babies obviously just don't know how to come out the right way. haha! ;)

Soo... all that to say... be at PEACE my friend.

I'll be praying for a clear answer for ya!

Oh Margi~ My heart sure goes out to you~ You sound like you just flat out don't *want* to try a vaginal birth anymore, and really, that's up to *you*, nobody else. We can all share our thoughts and opinions, but really, it boils down to what *YOU* feel you *should* do and *can* do. I'd LOVE for you to have your vaginal birth like you've talked about, but also understand where you're coming from~ Feeling torn and not at peace about it. Is there a way that you can just play it by ear, and what happens-- happens? If you're anything like me, you like to have a SET-Plan... an idea... a goal. I don't like floating around, not knowing what is going to happen. :) I sure will be praying for you, hun~ Praying for peace in this~ :) Thanks for your prayers as well, hun~

If you're anything like me, you like to have a SET-Plan... an idea... a goal. I don't like floating around, not knowing what is going to happen.

Boy, oh boy, this is me, too....

LCLake, thanks for sharing your experiences. It really helps to hear from women who've had successful C/S experiences. When all you hear is the worst-case scenarios, it adds to the stress level and fear of what if I end up having to have one?

Thanks everyone... today was a rough day emotionally but I think I've found peace in my decision. LCLake, it was so nice to come home and read what you said! As you probably can guess, I won't be doing the VBAC after all. A lot of thought went into this decision and in the end it just felt like it wasn't for me. Yesterday I started having major doubts about the VBAC and it just felt really big & scary suddenly. I wasn't sure where to go with it all but I basically decided to take my cue somewhat from the OB today. She was just incredible, a colleague of my regular OB (who had a baby herself 3 days ago!) and I know I will just love having her take care of me! She said they would happily let me try if I'd only had one C/S but with 2 they really don't know the risks at this point yet.

I wonder if God allowed the big doubts yesterday to prepare me for today!!! So it wasn't as devastating as it would have been???

I've been impressed by SO many people that in the end, it's the healthy baby that matters... you are not defined by how you give birth. And my hubby gets the bonding time while I'm in recovery which I know he really wanted! And yes... I can plan the babysitting. These are not deciding factors but since the decision is made, I'm looking for the positive and finding quite a few! Planning ahead like this will help me deal with it emotionally as well.

Thanks so much for praying, y'all!!!!!!

I'm glad you've come to a conclusion! Be at peace with it and enjoy this last part of pregnancy! :mrgreen:

Oh Margi~ My heart sure goes out to you~ You sound like you just flat out don't *want* to try a vaginal birth anymore, and really, that's up to *you*, nobody else. We can all share our thoughts and opinions, but really, it boils down to what *YOU* feel you *should* do and *can* do. I'd LOVE for you to have your vaginal birth like you've talked about, but also understand where you're coming from~ Feeling torn and not at peace about it. Is there a way that you can just play it by ear, and what happens-- happens? If you're anything like me, you like to have a SET-Plan... an idea... a goal. I don't like floating around, not knowing what is going to happen. :) I sure will be praying for you, hun~ Praying for peace in this~ :) Thanks for your prayers as well, hun~

Thanks Jen,
I know it's hard to understand for someone who's had all vaginal births... not trying to judge you here - just saying I understand how you view it. I wish I could just float along... that's what I've been doing until now, waiting for the OB appointment, waiting, waiting, not committing... and until now that's been okay. But I'm antsy now and I feel like I need something to hang on to. I had to make up my mind this week because I needed to pay the doula if I was gonna keep her. I do still want a vaginal birth... as I feel my body changing and everything gearing up for labor a part of me feels like a traitor... but I'm still at peace (I feel like God gave it to me) and I know that this I can do. Honestly I've been so weak physically that the physical aspect of labor has worried me a lot!

There's a lot of life that doesn't turn out as romantically as we plan... when I got pregnant I imagined a sweet little baby girl born vaginally and everyone happy and smiling off into the sunset. Well things don't always turn out the way we plan but I think God has a plan in everything. And in this case I truly believe he wants my husband to experience that special bonding again... he allowed it to happen for a reason the first 2 times... in my ignorance... but it turned into a beautiful thing!

Okay, I'll stop preaching now - didn't mean to get so passionate but it is an emotional subject right now...

aww hun iam so happy that you have come to a decision and feel peace about:-D

Margi, I'm glad yesterday gave you some answers. Maybe not what you hoped for in some ways, but now at least you can plan and prepare for the big day without wondering anymore. Praying for continued peace and confidence in the decision you've made. I have to admit....it must be kind of exciting to be able to choose your baby's birthday! That in itself is a privilege many of us won't ever have! :D

Margi, I'm glad yesterday gave you some answers. Maybe not what you hoped for in some ways, but now at least you can plan and prepare for the big day without wondering anymore. Praying for continued peace and confidence in the decision you've made. I have to admit....it must be kind of exciting to be able to choose your baby's birthday! That in itself is a privilege many of us won't ever have! :D

Kim said it so perfectly~ If you have peace about it, that is the main thing, Margi~ I'm so glad you have peace now! :)

Margi, I'm glad yesterday gave you some answers. Maybe not what you hoped for in some ways, but now at least you can plan and prepare for the big day without wondering anymore. Praying for continued peace and confidence in the decision you've made. I have to admit....it must be kind of exciting to be able to choose your baby's birthday! That in itself is a privilege many of us won't ever have! :D

Thanks Kim, that's exactly what I'm praying for too... I keep wanting to second guess myself even though I know it's the right decision... As for picking the birthday, I know it sounds cool but in reality they only give you a couple of days to choose from, a week before your due date. At least that's how it was with Nick. An added bonus is that my pregnancy just became a week shorter! (Sorry, Jen...)

Good. I'm so happy that you feel peace about your decision.
You're absolutely right... life throws things at ya that you don't expect but you gotta just roll with the punches and trust there's a reason.
You really aren't defined by the type of birth you have. Don't have any regrets or disappointment in your decision because in the end, you'll have a happy, healthy baby.... and you can get your hair done and have some good rest before your c-section... which makes for a happy mommy too!! :)