View Full Version : Young girls and bras: need advice
01-15-2010, 04:33 PM
My girls are ten. They are preteens. I dont know what to say really. Im kind of into not following the culture's trend in letting my girls grow up too quickly. They are ...beginning to develope in a ..puberty sort of way. They have asked about getting bras, bc they have to change infront of other girls for gym at school. They usually wear tshirts underneath or, what do you call them, we call them vests, sleeveless undershirts.
I guess my question is at what age did you let your tween girls begin wearing bras. Im kind of thinking its one of those things *IM* not quite ready for!! Like there's so much time to grow up, there's no rush...
Anyway, what do you guys think about all this?
01-15-2010, 04:37 PM
Gen, if they are beginning to develop and are asking for bras, and they have to change in front of other girls, I would let them wear them for modesty's sake, just because thin undershirts do not usually hide things like nipples poking out if it's cold, but a training bra with relatively thick cloth would. This is just my opinion though. Also if they are starting to develop they may need support during gym even if they are not very large yet, you don't want the tendons in the breast to get damaged or stretched out from bouncing/running (which can happen even if you have a really small chest). I'm not sure how "developed" you are talking about but this is just my opinion.
01-15-2010, 05:29 PM
ITA with Cheese. I was 9 when I started wearing a "training" bra, I was already in the A+ dep by then and boys, including ones older than me, had definitely noticed my "development" in gym class and/or at recess, especially if there was anything that involved running *ahem* - that made me really uncomfortable. The bra I had was not a jog bra and did not resolve the bouncy-jiggly issue at all, but I guess it at least prevented nipple issues. A jog bra or minimizer probably would have been better for me at that age, at least just for gym, but hey beggars can't be choosers.
If they are feeling self-conscious I would get a bra for them and one that is supportive, not a training thing that is just for show; wanting them to grow up slowly unfortunately will not prevent their bodies from developing. If they have enough that their development is noticeable, it is bra time, even if it is just to prevent their tendons from stretching out prematurely like Cheese mentioned. A jog bra might be best, but if you feel ok with it I would let them have some input as to the kind of bra(s) they get.
01-16-2010, 12:23 AM
I agree with the sports bra. It is thicker in front and offers some support.
no advise just popping in to say that the theme/title of the thread made me smile;) "aww, gen is "there" now".
01-16-2010, 05:21 AM
"aww, gen is "there" now".
Oh my. The problem for me has been for girls this age, Ive found it very difficult to find anything appropriate, well one of the problems. Since my girls were little and I was flipping through some of the clothing catalogues, coming across girls undies, like for 9yo-11yo and such and seeing that they said disgusting things like 'eat me'. I was a bit horrified. I was in no hurry to sexualise my young girls. Some of the undies said things like 'Cheeky monkey'. Well, I guess I vowed not to let my girls grow up too fast and to be sexualised. So, guaging their development in the culture has been part of my reason for stalling.
And the other reason was probably just a normal mom thing where Im watching my little girls grow up. I must be feeling hormonal right now. [crwy]
As far modesty is concerned. We always make sure they have undershirts anyway. The thin material of the bras Ive found would be no different and would offer no support. They are tiny girls, thin and not ...um... 'bouncy' at this stage. I knew I would have to get something within the next year, probably before they turned 11, which is in may. I didnt want to get them bras for christmas bc, like you mentioned Joy, I wanted it to be something special, and not for them to open bras in front of their brother and dad, lol. Can you imagine that! Also, the only other bras Ive found were tiny versions of grown up woman's bras, ykwim? Like langerie! Where we are, I dont know what is wrong with people, but a quick peruse in catalogues in search of these things for YOUNG girls leaves me a bit ...frustrated. So its either one extreme or the other. The young girl flimsy bra shaped undershirts, or sexy-ish langerie type bras. Ive not looked hard enough tho. Which I know I need to go ahead and just get on with it, lol.
Im going to go and do what you did Joy, I think, in the next few weeks.
01-16-2010, 07:26 AM
Other posters have given great advice. My older girls began wearing them when they were beginning to develope it was at 10 for one of them and at 11 for the other. Sports bras were best here at first.
01-16-2010, 07:09 PM
DH is 9 and has started developing already. She asked me to buy her a bra about 4 months ago. I took her to the store and let her pick out a couple of trainers. They are "girly" with flowers and things like that. Nothing sexual about them. I decided to let her start wearing one because she is starting to develop and you can tell and yes, some of her friends are wearing them. This is such a hard age for girls. I don't want her to feel anymore akward than she already does. Ever since we've gotten them it's not even an issue anymore.
Yes, a lot of good advice... you may need to go online to find what you seek.
Wanted to share a story... I was about 10 - 6th grade when I asked my mom for a bra. I had been wanting to do that for months, all summer vacation... all my friends were wearing them and we had to change for gym class and all that. I had nothing, but I was concerned about my nipples showing through. Already I was in tune with modesty.
I finally worked up the courage in October, my birthday. I told my mom I didn't want any present except for her to take me shopping to get some bras. She LAUGHED at me and told me I didn't need one. I cried and cried and cried.
My aunt took me shopping. We never really talked about it. It was a terrible moment for me that will live forever.
I know you don't treat your girls like this, but it's very salient in my mind exactly how I felt at that age. If they are asking I imagine they have already thought about it for a very long time. I thought about it all 5th grade, and by the end of the school year, I really wanted some...
I agree, they should be plain... white or beige...
*hugs* I hope you find undergarments you all like soon!
01-19-2010, 10:51 AM
my oldest is 9 1/2 and the two of us went shopping and bought her a couple of sports bras back at the end of summer. Then we left it up to her. At first she only wore them basically when she remembered to now she wears one all of the time. They now change at school for gym.
01-22-2010, 07:42 AM
We are going shopping tomorrow for bras for my little ladies. [cheerful]
01-25-2010, 01:00 PM
We did it! It was fine. They were excited, got there early enough to avoid ANY crowds, but the person at the till was a lad, lol. It was a nice day out and Im now like 'What was the big deal?' lol
01-25-2010, 05:28 PM
I am so glad it went well! Sounds like all 3 of you are more at ease now :mrgreen: