Has anyone ever dealt with fear in their children? Abigail is afraid to go in the kitchen on her own or to the bathroom on her own if it's dark outside even if the light is on in the room. I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. I've tried making her go to the bathroom herself, especially as sometimes I can't always go with her but she just gets hysterical. I don't know if I should make her go or if I shouldn't push it if she's scared. What would you do/have done? How do I get her to get over being afraid?

Eva, I'd talk to her a lot about Jesus and the angels always being with her and taking care of her. And it's important that you show no fear, too. Be confident and tender, but don't be shaken because you're her foundation right now.

I think the best thing to get through fear is, beginning to really build her faith in the Lord, telling her gently and constantly that she's safe. And then, work on desensitization with her. Walk her to the kitchen telling her how safe she is. Then after a while, you stand just outside the kitchen, reassuring her that she's safe and protected. After a time, stop a few more feet back and repeat, etc. Give it time, and be really patient. If you sense there's a controlling element involved, deal with that also. You don't want her using her fear to keep you 'engaged'. Expect her to work with you, but make sure she's not already in a panic when you start working with her. It's hard to get them to start looking at things truthfully if they're already frenzied.

Blessings, precious Eva! [hug]

[loveyou]

Joy [welcomewave]

Thanks Miss JoyLynn! I've told her before that God is watching over her and protecting her but I think I need to just keep reiterating that. I had a big talk with her tonight bcuz she wouldn't go in the kitchen, I think it's definately a fear thing as opposed to a controlling thing, she'll go in the kitchen during the day. So tonight I asked her what she was scared of and she said bcuz it's dark outside. So I explained to her that God is watching over her all the time and she doesn't need to be scared bcuz He will protect her. I think if I keep drilling that home to her, hopefully she won't be scared any more. And praying with her, asking God to help her not be afraid. It didn't help that a few weeks ago she was in the bathroom on her own and someone let off fireworks at the back of our house which is where the bathroom window is and it completely sent her into hysterics. I couldn't even get her to calm down, she clung to me and wouldn't let go. Finally I got her to calm down and then I let her look out her bedroom window to see the fireworks so that she would know that that is what the whizzing sound was.

She said to me tonight, "Mommy if I was a little boy then I would go in the kitchen and you would come with me". I think she was talking about if she was Micah then I would go with her[sadashamed] I felt so bad and felt like crying. I hope she doesn't think I favor Micah over her. Sorry, that's slightly off topic. Anyway, hopefully we'll get past this fear thing soon.

I wouldn't push it. I would still encourage her but not push it. When Abby was younger and scared of the dark, I would put up posters that had a picture of Jesus and little children or sheep and it had a verse on eite Psalms 23:1, just to remind her that Jesus was there always. The other thing I did was talked to her and asked her why she was scared of the dark, of course it was monsters yada yada, so I got a water bottle and put some water with a little bit of perfume oil and said it was monster spray, I made a big deal of the water spray thing, she thought it was cool. and it worked for a while. but in the end they just have to conquer that fear on their own. I think if you push it, it will just make her more insecure.