Good evening y'all,

I've got yet another feeding question. For months now, we've tried to set out pieces of food on Rebekah's tray so she could feed herself. She'll eat one and proceed to throw the rest of them on the floor. It doesn't matter if you set out 2 pieces or 20 pieces; she'll only eat one before throwing the rest. The same thing happens if we give her a larger piece of food. She'll take 1, maybe 2, bites and throw the rest of the piece on the floor. It seems like we've tried everything to stop this behavior and, obviously since I'm coming to y'all, have been unsuccessful. What else can we try?! It seems like by this age she should be capable of finger feeding herself a meal. Thanks!

Megan

03/06/98 - Married DH
10/10/08 - Welcomed Rebekah Faith

How about only giving her one piece at a time then?

Throwing food on the floor is, in my opinion, a discipline issue. All kids will do it, but they have to be taught/disciplined not to (not wanting to eat something does not mean it goes on the floor.) Just like they have to be taught not to put non-food objects in their mouths....

Is she eating the food after you pick it up for her, or does she refuse to eat anything else?

I would give her very small portions (like 2-3 bites at a time), and if she throws any on the floor, tell her "no, we don't throw food on the floor", and putting her in time out alone in her crib, then bringing her back to the table for another try. There have to be consistent consequences, or she will think she can continue to do that.

All of our kids tried that, too. I agree with Nichole. :mrgreen: We did the same thing. And for the kidlets that 'knew' they weren't supposed to drop the food on the ground, and they'd give us that 'look' just before they did it (LOL! That look is so funny!), we'd slap their hand and say no. They learned quickly. We were pretty firm. :-D

[loveflag]

Joy [welcomewave]

Ditto Nichole and Joy. Ours learned fairly quickly. Meal time is fun, and it is great to see if gravity still works...

And that "look" is priceless. Have to recite to myself mean mommy face, mean mommy face whenever I see it.

Keep working on it, be consistent. Only way to do it.

IMHO I wouldn't use the crib for time-out though...Shaelyn is 20 months and we put her on the steps for 'timeout'. It works well...

Payton didn't like to grab the food, he doesn't like to get his hands dirty and still won't eat food that he has to grab with his hands if it's the least bit messy. We had the hardest time getting him to eat on his own before he could use utensils very well, once he got the hang of them we haven't had much trouble. Just a thought here.

Thanks for all your replies!

Ruth, currently, we only give her 1 piece at a time. With this method, she typically starts throwing food down when she has had enough to eat. After revoking her finger feeding privilege, she'll only eat a few more bites that we feed directly to her. When we start out a meal with, say, 3 pieces of food on her tray, she'll eat just 1 and throw down the other 2. This happens even when she's hungry.

Nichole, Joy, and Crissy, please forgive my lack of knowledge here. Is a 14 month old old enough to understand what a time out is? In other instances of misbehaving, if redirecting doesn't work, we do give her a "pop" to the bottom. The one and only time we've had to do this, it worked incredibly well. A slap to the hand and a "no" might prove effective too.

Jessy, Rebekah is just like Payton. She doesn't like to get her hands messy. She melted down after a relative tried to convince her to play in her birthday cake this past October. I don't think this applies to this problem. Right now, we let her feed herself things like toast, cheese, lunch meat, crackers, and fairly "dry" things.

Sigh. It's just frustrating. We've been working on this for 4 months (this is combined with her refusal to eat and her pickiness). We'll just keep at it, trying a little more discipline. I guess it doesn't help she has been absolutely miserable for the last week (she's possibly teething and/or sick). I'm just wearing thin from that and from some other personal situations as well.

Anyways, thanks again ladies for the advice. It'll be put to good use!

Megan

03/06/98 - Married DH
10/10/08 - Welcomed Rebekah Faith

We deal with this with our Mak. I think Mak's issues are more behavioral.....which I think you are struggling with.
Mak is VERY particular about what she eats. She likes somethings better than she likes others, just like I am. I can tell right away now if she likes something or not, so she doesn't throw EVERYTHING on the floor, but when she feels she has had enough of something, down it goes. Sometimes she rubs the stuff all over her tray before it landing on the floor, but she does give me that look like "this is fun!!"

We still give Mak a little baby food still sometimes. (She never really ate much baby food) I know she will eat a few certain baby food things, and when we are eating something that would be hard for her to eat or handle, we use the baby food. I also sometimes go to the baby food when she is in "one of those moods" and she won't want to eat. This way I can usually get MORE of the baby food into her than the finger food.

As we are, I would work on the discipline part of the behavior, pray A LOT and hopefully she will learn that table manners in your house are important! (it's a whole other teaching when it comes to 4 year olds.....oiy!)

I pray you find something that works!
blessings,
Amber

i think 14 months is too early to really understand time out. I think she enjoys the reaction she gets from you. I mean, it is fun to throw stuff when you are little. It may not be right, but you throw something and then mommy gives you a reaction.
maybe try giving her a toy or something and feed her one at a time while she play's with that toy.
I agree that discipline should take place, but if you continue trying and she just isn't stopping then don't put that temptation in front of her. wait until she is a little older and try again.
Have you tried using a kids fork? Joey likes to make a mess when he eats, and sometimes he won't eat that much and it aggrivates me. but if I get his fork and make him hold it, then help him stab his food and feed him, he loves it. now at 17 months he does pretty well.
I don't know if it will work for your little girl but I thought I'd suggest it.

Nichole, Joy, and Crissy, please forgive my lack of knowledge here. Is a 14 month old old enough to understand what a time out is? In other instances of misbehaving, if redirecting doesn't work, we do give her a "pop" to the bottom. The one and only time we've had to do this, it worked incredibly well. A slap to the hand and a "no" might prove effective too.

a 14 month old is plenty old enough.... they learn very quickly that doing x,y, or z has negative consequences. you could also try the slap on the hand too, of course. It depends on the child, though, some children like being alone and it doesn't bother them at all to be put in time-out....

My children are polar opposites as far as discipline - Katherine will do anything to avoid a spanking, even insist that she goes for time-out instead.

But nathaniel just laughs if you spank him but he has a complete melt down if you put him in time-out, lol... he HATES time out. *sometimes I wonder if he even feels pain, lol, like he'll fall and bonk his head and just get up and keep going* so it totally depends on how your kid responds to various punishments... so, just try different things until you find something that works.

Eliya has handled eating pretty well... but I think it's mainly because she has older siblings to watch and learn from??Maybe? I dunno. But she has gotten even BETTER about eating since we have given her a "big girl" bowl, fork and spoon. Even if she doesn't need those items, she eats better when she gets to use them. Hope she'll get past this for you and start eating on her own~