I have this tote full of crafts and puzzles and stuff stored underneath dd's (3-1/2 years old) bed.. she knows that the stuff in there is to play with only with my permission usually when ds is sleeping or if she is in her room with the door closed I sometimes let her do crafts. The reason for this is simply because some things in the tote are choking hazards for ds or stuff he might try to eat like glue, crayons, ect. Anyways a couple hours ago she was in her room and without asking decided to pull out the tote.. she dumped a bunch of stuff out of it making bit of a mess. When I saw what she did I told her to pick it up.. I told her not to come out of her room until it was all picked up. About 15 minutes later I decided to go check on her, it should have only taken 5 minutes to pick it up.... and she was sitting there coloring, so I told her again. This went on for 2 hours!! She just refused to pick the stuff up! I usually in a situation like this would help her or end up doing it mostly by myself but I want her to learn she can't keep making messes and just expect me to follow her around picking them up. What I have done in the past if she refuses to pick something up, like her legos or blocks for example, I just tell her if I pick them up then I'm taking them away. Then I put them ontop of the fridge and she doesn't get them back for a week but now she tells me "I don't want to pick them up, you can take them away". She will ask about them once and a while, like "can I have my legos back yet", I say nope not until such and such day, whatever a week is, and then thats the end of it, doesn't really seems like she cares. So I decided tonight that she is going to pick up this stuff, but she is so stubborn, it has been 2 hours, and shes now been crying for a half hour on and off!! So am I being too stubborn too? Am I being too harsh? She missed dinner because of this too, I told her she can come eat once the mess is picked up.. and shes complaining shes thirsty! Am I the meanest mom in the world or am I just fed up? :cry:

I tend to get into the exact same situation. What I have started to do is take something away that I know he really will not like.

For example..DS had some toys scattered all over his room & I asked him to pick them up before we went down stairs for breakfast. He didn't want to do it. Well I knew him & DH were going over to Nana's & he wanted to go.. well I said if he didn't pick up his toys he would not be going out and would be staying here with mommy.

I hope this a help..

That would absolutely break my heart, but I don't think you're being too harsh. I think that kids need to learn that there are consequences to their disobedience. And I really wish that my parents had taught me that kind of thing when I was growing up, because even now, I tend to do things without considering the consequences. And I sooo wish someone had taught me that there's no getting out of the consequences of your own actions. Might have saved me a bit of trouble!

I think you are being a good mommy. :) I know it is hard to here them, but they also know that and try to play on your sypathy as much as possible. She is old enough to know what she needs to do to get out. Also if it doesn't work to take toys away, maybe take away something she really likes, for example,dessert, a different toy she really likes, movie tome, etc. You are doing good. Don't give in and she will know you mean it next time, when you tell her to do something. :wink:

Thanks everyone! I ended up going in to her room and directing her as she picked up each thing and put it back into the tote.. it took less then 5 minutes. I could have held out longer but didn't want dh coming home and playing the hero ans saving her from awful mean mommy! I know he doesn't do it on purpose but thats how I feel and I'm sure she feels like that too. But I understand.. if I didn't see my babies all day and came home to that I would want to save them too!!

[hug] I am just now reading this thread. I could just as easily written this myself. In fact, I am certain that I have been through the exact same thing as you. You did everything as I would have and in the end she'll learn not to do it again. Our little ones sure like to try our patience, don't they?! It is so hard to hear them crying and pleading with you. But they have to learn to obey. Bottom line. You are being a great mommy! :D

Thank you.. I really needed to hear that! I have really been struggling lately. I've been feeling like I am not being the best mommy. I think I could be a bit more patient at times. I have been very emotional this pregnancy too.. I was in tears last night telling dh how hard of a time I've been having lately. He is very reassuring and encouraging.. he always praises me and tells me what a good job I'm doing but sometimes I don't feel like I am doing a good job. I know everyone has their days but it seems like the whole last trimester so far has been a bad day! Anyways, thanks for the encouragement ladies.. its appreciated! :D

I think you did the right thing! Hold your ground, be consistant. Your daughter will quickly learn that you mean what you say if you don't back down from what you have asked her to do. If you woud have given in, your daughter would have gotten a mixed message. This is a tough discipline age you going through, but if you stay firm and consitant it will get better and pay off in children who respect you.

I just wish I had your willpower. Whenever I try to wait Timmy out, he's just like Brooke, he could go hours without something and never do what I say. I don't get it. And I assumed that maybe he just didn't really understand, because he doesn't think like I do. So I stopped making it a battle of wills. I'd just tell him he had 5 seconds to obey or I was goign to give him a spanking, or take away his toy or whatever I was going to do. The 5 seconds almost always got him. It's like giving him a time limit made him realize he'd better do it. I don't know why.

I went through the same kind of thing in my last pregnancy! Ani got just plain old stubborn when I'd tell her to do something. I was feeling very emotional and finding that my third pregnancy was proving to be the hardest. At times I wasn't sure if I was just being too hard on her or if she was being disobedient and I was fed up. I began a practice that I'm still using (because running after a preschooler, toddler, and newborn isn't a walk in the park). Whenever, Ani is disobedient, I ask myself if she is the only one out of control. If I feel like I'm a little out of control or fed up (which I judge by my reaction), I mentally count to ten and take two deep breaths and call on the Lord for strength and patience. Then I discipline her. I love your method by the way... it was non-physical and you didn't emotionally degrade her. If you feel really bad, it helps if when she's calmed down a little, you can take her aside and hug and kiss her. Tell her you love her and explain why she can't behave that way. Good luck and keep up the good work! You're doing great. :D