Question

[sandramaeve]

Good morning, I have a question that has really been causing me some confusion recently. What does it mean to be a Christian woman in America today?

I ask because I am not a traditional Christian woman. I lived a very rebellious life until I became pregnant in 1998. Then I joined a church, and was baptized. I thought that's all there was to it, but I find myself questioning everything lately. I am a single mom. I work and go to college. I am not in a relationship.

I left my church a few months ago. I just think there is more to following Jesus than obeying rules and regulations and putting on a certain appearance. I was just miserable there.

What does it mean to you to be a Christian woman?

[JRBL]

To me... being a Christian is NOT about going to church, singing, wearing skirts, not wearing make up, being a prude..... that kind of thing.....

We are sinners, we sin.... even though we are redeemed, we are still sinners... we think bad thoughts, we still do bad things, the difference is, being saved, that we have the Holy Spirit living within us to tell us right from wrong and It tells us to repent. I feel that church *is* important because our Christian sisters and brothers sharpen us and keep us strong to face the "outside world"; "Live *in* the world, not *of* it."

We have just found (I think) our very first Church home as a family, and I am actually looking forward to us all being very active in it. We have spent the last three almost four years amongst non-Christian friends, with no Christ loving friends of our own; besides our parents and family.

I have come to understand *why* it's important to interact with other Christians. I have NEVER liked church, ever; I still don't like it, because I am *not* a social person, I am a big introvert; but, I *now* know how important it is; especially for our children.

I think it takes being convicted over; just like dressing, jewelry, make up, hair all that stuff. People have different convictions. I know my own personal problem with church was resentment; I didn't like being a sinner going into a church where I felt like people were better than me, behaving better than me; that was all my own problem, no one did it to me...

As a single mom, who came from just your circumstance (raising my child alone, going to school, and coming back to Christ)... I know, it's hard. BUT, you have a very special opportunity to find some good Christian support! I wouldn't give that up.

Is it maybe just your church that you don't like? You're free to find a new one, try out some others. :)

I hope and pray that you find a church home that meets all your spiritual, emotional and physical needs! God bless you, Momma!!!!

[gen]

What a fantastic question. I know you are going to get alot of answers to it. Being humble, and willing to follow Christ where he will lead you. This is what it boils down to me.

[JeanineAnne]

What does it mean to be a Christian woman in America today?

This is probably going to go against what many even around here believe, but honestly being a Christian woman in America today is the same as it was during Jesus day.

It was hard then, it is hard now.

The Bible tells us to chase after God with all our heart. If you do that, the rest will fall in place. It won't always be doing what is popular, but it will be about doing what is right for your relationship with Christ. We all fall and make mistakes, but it is in our willingness to admit that and met Jesus where we are that makes the difference between a woman of God and the rest of the world. Humility, love, joy, and peace makes the difference. Many people make the mistake and think that they must feel that way in order to be a Christian. But our feelings have very little to do with our faith, and it is usually our feelings that will get us into trouble :)

When you get past living for others, and start living for God is where you find freedom in the "rules". God created us and knows what is best for us. If you place your entire heart in His care, He will slowly start to form you in what He has made you to be.

For me, the biggest part of my reform is when I started truly seeking Christ all the time. I forced myself to pray and pray alot. I asked God to guide me in all of my decisions and when I made the wrong ones, I asked for forgiveness and redirection. I didn't care (and still don't) about what everybody else is doing. I do what is right for me and my God, admitting when I miss the mark. The other thing is to jump right into the Bible and find out everything you can about what God's Word says about being a godly woman. I found a great series of Bible studies by Cynthia Heald, they all start with the title "Becoming a Woman of...". There is some amazing nuggets of scripture in those studies.

My journey began much like yours and I truly started to seek Him more when I was a single parent newly divorced. I was really angry with God at the time, but He used all of that to form and shape me. I don't think God delights in us trying to keep up certain apparences anymore than we do. Live for Him, not to please others.

[sandramaeve]

" I don't think God delights in us trying to keep up certain apparences anymore than we do. Live for Him, not to please others."

Well said.

I can see now why I was stumbling in my Christian walk. I have not been living for Him; I have been living to gain the acceptance of a small group, and not really being honest with myself.

I don't think I have to be someone I'm not in order to follow Christ. I'm just not like the other moms at my church, no matter how many apple pies I bake.

Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. 27Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”

[Madre]

I agree with Gen and Jeanine. I do think, though, we as Christians try to complicate things, assign rules for ourselves (if no one else assigns them for us :wink: ), try to live up to what we think a Christian should look like or act like, etc. Augustine said, "Love God, then do as you please." To me this means that if loving Him is your compass, your actions will be pleasing to Him. The great thing is that not only are you living for God, but God is living in you ("...Christ in you, the hope of glory." Col 1:27). Another wonderful saying comes from Billy Graham. His watchword has always been, "What does the Bible say?" Many believers (and more than likely they are well meaning) will tell you many things, but you must always gauge them by His Word. You won't go wrong if you live Biblically.

As far as gathering with other Christians, the Bible speaks much about this and He will lead you to another place of fellowship. Even there, though, you will bring a unique contribution:

From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love. Ephesians 4:16

[davidsmommy]

[praywhensad] Dear Lord, I’m on my knees again.
I come to You because You understand.
I’ve tried so hard, but I just can’t change myself
That’s why I know I need Your help.

Chorus

So here I am
This in my plea
My only hope is Your love for me.
I’m reaching out
So desperately
Come take my hand; take all of me.
Just as I am.

Oh Lord, You make what’s broken new.
Why can’t I just learn to follow You?
I want to know You and feel You in my soul.
I surrender all control.

Chorus

I am not afraid to follow You where You lead me.
I can leave the past behind me.
I’m forgiven and I’m free.

~David Phelps~

© 2004 Wordspring Music, Inc., Soulwriter Music Company, Inc. (adm. By Wordspring Music, Inc.) (SESAC) / Word Music, Inc., Lola Max Music (adm. By Word Music, Inc.) (ASCAP)

Just as I am, just as you are,... that's truly the key. You're probably also familiar with the hymn--Just as I am, without one plea... It applies here as well. Being a Christian woman today is exactly as Jeanine put it, it's just like we would have been in His time.

We need to truly believe that He is here with us, not physically, but spiritually. It's all about the relationship with Him. When He sees us, He sees the "real" us... He knows our Soul... He doesn't want us to become preoccupied about how we look, or how we "whatever"... He just wants to be friends with US.

[pioneerchristianmomof3]

Thank you for your question! It really made me think about what makes me a Christian woman.

In a nutshell, I think being a Christian woman means being close to God and living the life HE want's me to live. We need to not let the church and our Christian friends tell us what we should do, God will convict us in due time with what he wants us to do. (ie. music never used to be a big deal to me, but lately God has been convicting me to be more caucious about what my family listens to) Someone will always have an opinion about what you are doing/not doing and we can get discouraged and frusterated with our fellow Christians. Just stay close to God and the "stuff" will be taken care of.

[gen]

This single thread and the few replies it has already gotten has renewed a certain hope I was beginning to see fade in me. Im breaking down just admitting that. I was actually going to say everything that has been posted, there isnt one thing I disagree with (for a change lately :roll: ) here. Its all about me and my Lord, Christ. Thats what it boils down to. Ive actually stopped off the christian path lately just to see it from a different perspective (something like that) and its a mess out there and Im a mess without Him. There's alot to say about what a christian woman in America shouldnt be like. Alot. Too much. And sometimes its easy to stop and say 'They shouldnt be like that!! It shouldnt be like this!!!! I dont want to be like that!!' So, yeah, I guess being a Christian woman, anywhere in the world would involve keeping your eyes on Christ and let Him/the Holy Spirit be the filter with which we see the rest of the world.

sandramaeve...

I don't think I have to be someone I'm not in order to follow Christ. I'm just not like the other moms at my church, no matter how many apple pies I bake.

Praise God For that!! I prefer chocolate chips and brownies...mmmm

[sandramaeve]

Thank you, ladies, for your great insights! I really was frustrated about not "fitting in" and being like everybody else, yet I knew I just couldn't be someone I'm not.

God has a plan for all of us, and when we fight His plan, we get into trouble. I'm the way I am for a reason. I don't want to waste my time on earth trying to make everyone else accept me, when the person they are accepting isn't even me at all!

I've felt like such a phony. That cannot be what God wants.

I'm going to keep my eyes open for new opportunities in my community; I'd like to find a congregation where I feel more comfortable.

It is strange how I let myself get caught up in such superficial things such as: how people at church are dressing, who volunteers the most, how many bible studies I was involved in, always saying the "right" things, always having that apple pie for the church picnic ( I hate cooking, my pies aren't even very good, but I felt I had to be up to par with everyone else), I feel like it was all so unneccessary. That is not what being a Christian should be about. I was even considering quitting school at one point because I was told I should be a "real mother" and stay at home. People are fallible; God is not. That should make it very clear who to listen to.

Thanks again for the wonderful feedback. I enjoyed your replies very much.

[Timmys mom]

"
I don't think I have to be someone I'm not in order to follow Christ.

I totally agree with what you and everyone else has said. I heard a quote from a pastor (can't remember who right now maybe Jesse Duplantis) Anyway he said "I'd rather be an original then a cheap copy"

I think everyone goes through a time when they think they have to be like someone else, but praise God He wants us to be originals!

i'm not going to church anywhere right now either. We do watch the services on tv, along with some other pastors, but whenever I go I just end up driving 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back to sit in the nursary with Timmy. Hopefully I can go back again soon though.