Good evening,

DH and I are suspecting Rebekah is a strong willed child. I'd like to hear from the moms of other stong willed children.

1. What are the signs that a child is strong willed?

2. If you've read The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson, what did you think of it?

I know discipline is the key to having a well behaved child. I have absolutely NO experience in this subject. I bought The Strong Willed Child to read. I also have 2 other books on this subject. I don't know much about the different schools of thought regarding discipline; however, I do know that consistency is the key. If y'all have any advice for me, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

Megan

03/06/98 - Married DH
10/10/08 - Welcomed Rebekah Faith

Me, Me, Me!!! I have an extremely strong willed young son now. He just turned 10, and with this little man its been a true test of mother will to get us to where we are, and still need to get to where we need to go.

From day one Logan has been my strong willed child. *Extremely* colicy as a baby till age 1.5, the hardest time in my parenting life if I recall correctly. Was a very sick little one with RSV and continuous ear infections. Now struggles with dyslexia. Barely slept at night as a child, there was no such thing as crying it out with him--trust me--he would vomit after an hour of crying. He still needs very little sleep.

But what this child has is a deep love that is so special. A genuine care and understanding that is different than that of his other 4 siblings. He acts tough but needs the most love, even though he pretends he has it all figured out he needs me. Its been a deep learning experience, one that I will remember for a life time. I will remember this boy forever, really he is burned in my memory. The others I remember the main milestones, but with strong willed ones they have such a different way of being remembered I think.

With Logan not only consitency has been key but flexibility. I need to constantly change up tactics for him regarding reward, punishment, learning, rules....... Its a constant mulling over of my small battles as opposed to what I want him to really learn. What I can just let go and what I need to focus on. Really flexibility has been just as important. Every day its figuring out how to approach something differently than I have.

Homeschooling him seems to have helped in his academics but you aren't quite there yet. Learning along the way with a strong willed child has been my motto where my others they kind of followed the book as kids for the most part. Though all are individuals, all are sooo vastly different the others were more traditional in raising.

Strong willed children add such spice to a family, one I would really miss if Logan wasn't Logan. Sure it would be easier if he just went with the flow but as with everything I believe there is a "reason" to it all. God's intention and I'm willing to go along for this memorable ride. Many days are trying but God is smart he places just enough wonderful moments in those days that makes me smile and know its all worth it. Cause my strong willed guy sure makes me want to pull my hair out somedays.lol

Hugs wasn't sure if this is what you are looking for since my guy is older but just thought I would throw this out there for you Megan.

hugs and prayers mama!

Megan, we have a few strong willed children. :grin: I DO remember reading James Dobson's book, but it's been a long time. I think the general idea is that a strong-willed child tends to be more resistant and sort of digs in his heels. You get the picture of a child refusing to do what you want. And this is true. However, sometimes, I think a passive child can be strong-willed, too. It's just not as obvious. They may smile and find a way around what you want, but it's "now you see it; now you don't". They aren't as "in your face" maybe with their willfulness, but it's still willfulness. However, with a blatantly strong-willed child, you know what you're working with and it's really easier, in a way. [heart]

I have a strong willed 3 yo. Battling with her right now actually.

BE CONSISTENT. I read the Strong Willed Child. While mine isn't as bad as some of the case studies in the newest release, it did help with ideas. I have also found the tactics in Kevin Leman's books How to Make Children Mind Without Losing Yours and Have a New Kid by Friday invaluable. I loved them both and long to be able to add them to our shelves (right now, I get them from the library on a fairly regular basis for refreser courses).

I have to be creative with Dainie. She can also talk with me and set her own punishments on occasion. Like if X happens would option 1 or 2 work. Seems to get through to her better.

Our youngest is more passive aggressive and more sneaky. She's not quite 2 yet so who knows. She is devastated if you raise your voice to her so gentleness is the key.

I honestly believe you have to tailor your approach with each kid to fit them. It make take a few tries to find what works, but you will come upon it.

My 2nd is strong willed for sure, being consistent and also very strong boundaries! I used to think it was a very negative thing to have a strong willed child and then about a month or so ago he decided he wanted to ride a big boy bike, he had never been on one and without training wheels too!! So we made him wear his helmet and off he went, after a lot of falls he still was not willing to give up. The next day he woke up and he asked to ride, so I worked with him again. He was even out in a very heavy downpour trying to stay up on that bike, but guess what his persistence paid off and he was riding that bike that next day :)
So that gave me encouragement that good things can come from him being strong willed :)
I started to read the strong willed child book and never finished! Just me it wasn't the book!
I think the strong willed ones are going to be the ones who will make a difference for the Lord esp. if they come to accept them as their Lord and Savior :)