I think most hospitals are now banning extra people in the maternity ward, but if you had a choice, would you invite extended family to your baby's birth? Would you let your dad, uncle, brother, father in law come? What about your Mother in law? Sister? Mom? I'm super curious!

I would probably allow my mother, and if my mother-in-law just begged and pleaded, I would probably submit... and my sister, Callie, because we're close, if she wanted to be there, I would allow her. But that's where I draw the line. My other sister, no way... other family... uh-uh. And ultimately, if I had a choice without hurting anyone's feelings, I would have it be just me and hub. I just like it that way. I've had two "public" births and I like the quiet privacy of a "just hub and me" birth. But that's just me~ what are your thoughts??

I didn't vote because only hubby was allowed in the room both times. That was my decision and that's the way I would do it all over again.

I'm not bashful.
For abby's birth, I had : MIL, dh's "godmom", SIL, and DH.
For Joey's Birth, I had : MIL, SIL, Abby and DH.
This time I will have : My sister, maybe MIL and dh.

But I demand that it is quiet and if you're not there to help me then get out. I feed off of other people's positive energy.
When I was pushing Abby out, my dh's "gm" said " I don't think Abby wants to come out" and I wanted to tell her to shut up.
MIL pretty much stays out of the way. SIL or Sister is there to video tape and dh is there of course for support.

If my mom wasn't the one watching my kids when I was in labor, I might have her come, but no one else other than her or dh would be invited from the family - they can all come to visit after the baby is born and I've had a little time to rest up. My mom was at my first labor/birth. Definitely not my dad or uncle, not that they would want to see the birth anyway, no way. I do like it to be as little people as possible, basically just me and dh and the midwife, maybe one other nurse - nice and quiet so I can relax and just focus on the task at hand.
I don't really have any IL's so don't have that to consider. Not sure what I would say if my sister wanted to come.

I'm in the 'not bashful' category. I don't have a single male relative that would want to be in there so no problem there. I really wanted my mom at my last birth but she didn't make it in time due to a huge snow storm. My sister could have come in as well but I had no clue she was in the waiting room or I would have had her in there. It ended up just being dh and I and it was pretty nice that way. I had time to clean up, situate myself and enjoy all the family that was there.:mrgreen:

Yeah, I meant to put the option "Just me and hub" and by the time I noticed it was too late. Sorry!

I'm a private birth kind of person. Only husband and midwife there both times.

I didn't vote because I wouldn't want anybody but Dh, my Dr and a nurse. I might have let my oldest come in but my doc has had bad experience with that in the past (had a kid freak out and ran out with no one to chase after them!) In fact with my oldest I was throwing extra nurses out! I looked at each one and said do you NEED to be here if they said no then I told them to leave. lol

I wasn't bashful at all...everyone was there! Like Esther, they couldn't be to loud [whatwacko]

With both the boys, it was just dh and I and a midwife, and my obgyn. I never had any desire to have anyone else there - I think I would have found it distracting and off-putting. I knew I'd have trouble focusing on what I had to do, and I also felt that when our baby was actually born, I wanted to just savour that moment with dh, just the two of us.

A funny story comes to mind regarding this. A friend and I were talking about this exact thing, and her theory was "If you weren't there at the start (conception), I don't want you there at the end (birth)!" ie., just her and her dh, LOL

I would allow a midwife this time and my mom if she were here cause I think they could help. I love my DH and I hate to say it, but he was NOT a good coach for me. We even took lamaz and we still weren't making it work! :( Definitely will be looking into a midwife next time.

just me dh and midwife , i don't think i'd want anyone else there.

[clapping]Love that story Meg!

It's a cute way to put it, isn't it?:mrgreen:

A funny story comes to mind regarding this. A friend and I were talking about this exact thing, and her theory was "If you weren't there at the start (conception), I don't want you there at the end (birth)!" ie., just her and her dh, LOL

::snort:: thaaaaaaaaaaat's hilarious~

First birth: dh, my mom, his mom, 2 midwives and a friend
Second birth: dh..............midwife made it after baby's head was out :p I wouldn't have minded MIL being there again but she was far away. I had considered having a friend over, but, I just wasn't 'feeling it' as labor rolled around and then it came so quickly anywho...

It's been me and hubs ever since, with the exception of #4, my midwife (same one from births 2 - 4) finally made it in time to be with me as I labored. After that second round of the two of us, midwife not making it until after the birth, we realized we really did like it that way. I was perfectly fine with her at #4 but that one took a little longer (6 hr as opposed to 3 or 4 LOL) and I just wonder if part of that was due to her being there. Again, I didn't mind at all. Love her, am comfortable with her. I guess just after having labored the last two times with only hubs... ya know?

Anywho........

I'm not opposed to others being in there. It just depends on the moment. And some people may vary by moment. Like...my mom would be allowed VERY early...or after the fact. After my first birth I decided I didn't want her present again..other than as my 'gopher'. MIL on the other hand, was great and I would have her in with me again in a heartbeat.

Another joy of home birth...I can have who I want with me when I want them :p I may have my chiropractor with me next time around.

I don't think I can have a crowd of folks in my living room again though. My labors move too quickly and I may be dropping a kid in the middle of my living room. LOL (with #1 three of our male buddies were out in the living room of our small apt while I labored (for still 20+ hr at that time!!) in my bedroom)

Gee, am I lacking adult conversation or what? A simple question and I turn it into a 3 page essay!! LMHO

I didn't find your reply too long, T! I find your home births soooo fascinating and wish with all my heart we could do that~ Ah well... :) birth center, for me, is the next best thing~ :D

Glad it gave you a giggle, Jen :mrgreen:

Apart from a midwife and obgyn, it pretty much sums up my feelings, too, lol.

I may be the odd one here, but I would really, quite honestly, have preferred if it had only been me, the doctor and one nurse. NOBODY ELSE! Ugh!

With Matt, I was crowning by the time I got my gown on and in the l&d bed. The doctor came in, I pushed, and wham, there he was. My mom and dad had been in the room with me, neither got to leave, there wasn't time for them to move the tray of stuff out of the way. So, um, my dad saw it all. :::shudder::: not my choice, his choice or something I want ot ever have repeated!

With Cash, I told Harold in no uncertain terms that as soon as the doc said it was time to push, he was to exit to the hall and not return until I was cleaned up and covered up. And he obeyed quite happily! :-) My mom did stay in with me. I would have preferred she not be there, but I couldnt' stand to hurt her feelings and say no.

The less people around the better. I can't be touched while in labor as it drives me up the wall and beyond. And my mom and MIL would sit there and try to kill each other anyway. As it is my MIL wants to be there for a birth, and I said no, and she got upset and every time one of her friends gets to be in for the birth of a grandbaby, I hear about it and how special it must be to see your grandchild come into this world. She would take over the delivery room if she were there. No way. And my Mom won't come out to visit us anyway. I invited her to be in town and stay with Dainie when the youngest was born and she couldn't for a ton of made up reasons. So, I just want my husband there so I can squeeze his hand and have him get stuff for me. If I ever am so blessed to get a home birth, maybe having one other person around to get stuff would be nice. But if I have to be in a hospital again (had to due to state law until this past year), no one but the husband. The hospital provides enough spectators.

The less people around the better. I can't be touched while in labor as it drives me up the wall and beyond. And my mom and MIL would sit there and try to kill each other anyway. As it is my MIL wants to be there for a birth, and I said no, and she got upset and every time one of her friends gets to be in for the birth of a grandbaby, I hear about it and how special it must be to see your grandchild come into this world. She would take over the delivery room if she were there. No way. And my Mom won't come out to visit us anyway. I invited her to be in town and stay with Dainie when the youngest was born and she couldn't for a ton of made up reasons. So, I just want my husband there so I can squeeze his hand and have him get stuff for me. If I ever am so blessed to get a home birth, maybe having one other person around to get stuff would be nice. But if I have to be in a hospital again (had to due to state law until this past year), no one but the husband. The hospital provides enough spectators.

Did state law change? That would be a great thing if it did!

It did. After months in legislature, it passed the month AFTER Moriah was born. Then, it was held up longer because the ACOG sued the state over it. That was resolved with the court saying they had no right to sue last September late (a few days before a friend of mine did a home birth with a midwife from OK). Only problem now is finding someone local.

Sorry for the hijack.

me and dh, dr. and nurse.

no.one.else.

Trevor was down the hall when Shaelyn was born - he got to come in just minutes after she came out. perfect. would do that again. after that, go away and leave me alone for a few hours. then come and visit. :-)

wow, it's all even :mrgreen: