No, not the type of thing where they're having accidents because they're not ready. I mean, like a 3+ year old that can go all day and all night without accidents if she wants to, and if she gets mad at you, poops and smears it places where poop should never go. I could understand having an occasional accident. I cannot for the life of me understand smearing the poop. She knows full well that it's wrong and she is trying to get my goat.

So what to do?

Ruth, of course the usual answer is to be consistent with discipline and boundaries... That's always sooo important. :-D Here's something else, though.

I'd always pray and ask for direction, and sometimes I'd be surprised by what the Lord showed me. For example, when Carissa was right around 3.5, she went through a stage where she'd take all the bedding off her bed while she was napping, as well as take the lampshade off her lamp.. and a number of other things. The same things every single day. I'd discipline her well! [OK] She didn't stop... :???: ... and that was weird for her. [whatscratchinghead]

The Lord showed me there was something else going on with her. She was needing attention. And what He instructed me to do was to keep her right near my side allllllll day long until this weirdness broke off of her. If I was in the kitchen, she had to take her toys into the kitchen or dining room to be near me. If I had to clean a bathroom, she had to bring her things to the hallway outside the bathroom, etc...

We had good fellowship together, and she also had firm boundaries and instruction. But she was NOT out of my sight for anything during the day until she went down at night. If she needed to grab something from another room, I'd either go with her or let her go saying, 'Hurry RIGHT back!' And she only had seconds to return to me. I went to the bathroom with her and she went with me! :mrgreen: (Consistency was super important in all of this, too!! [OK] )

Lo and behold... It worked!! I know; surprise, surprise!! *gasp* :-o God's way ALWAYS works! Apparently, she needed to be near me and know she was important to me. Every move she made. Reassurance. I was right there for her. I didn't dote on her during that time. I was my normal self. Perky and sweet most of the time. Firm if she acted out at all. No shame or 'naughty girl'. Just all day togetherness. I didn't talk and interact with her nonstop, either. Sometimes she had to play quietly a few feet away and not talk cuz Mommy was having quiet time. She napped at my feet in the living room! LOL! [rotfl] It really worked. It was just what she needed. [thumbsupgrin] And, a wonderful added benefit; it's very difficult to un-decorate a room or smear poop if mommy is there with you. [dance]

This often goes through my mind now when I hear about a child acting out in an odd way. Also when I hear of a child who is being sneaky, like sneaking food or lying. Sometimes they need to know we're RIGHTTHERE for them. Especially if we've suddenly become more busy for some reason (like having a baby, etc) Helps them feel secure, without spoiling or indulging them. And it's super important not to make them feel like you don't trust them. I've seen some parents take the attitude of, 'I can't trust you so I won't let you out of my sight.' That's bad, bad, bad. They'll live up to that untrustworthiness. [sadashamed] They're often telling us there's something going on with them in the only way they know how. They don't know why they're feeling 'off'. [whatwacko]

Anyway, that's just a thought. In any case, I know the Lord will tell you specifically what's going on with your lil girl. Sometimes He'll allow us to go through these seasons *just* so we need to slow down and draw closer to a child. It's actually good for US, as well as our needy baby. [heartbeat]

Blessings, sweet Ruth! [hug]

[lovewuvu]

Joy [welcomewave]

So if she does it after I put her to bed for the night, does that mean that I should stay with her until she goes to sleep at night? She's fighting bedtime too, so that could take a long time.

I completely agree with Joy here Ruth. And I'm willing to bet that if she was by your side all day long bedtime wouldn't be as big of a fight.

I have taken this approach with Gabriella and its worked wonderfully. I only wish I had thought of it when Brooke was little! She was/is a very high maintenance (for lack of better words) child. We had a hard few years with her!

I agree with the others. I went through Poo smearing with Aidan and lo and behold when I made more time for her it stopped. Especially with a baby in the house it may seem to them like we don't have time for them anymore. Even the time we do spend is not enough. I would say that there is probably a good chance that she is acting out because she is feeling like she is not getting enough attention. Stay firm with disciplining her but find ways to incorporate her more into daily activities.