I having trouble knowing how to respond to my DS, 22 months, when he injuries him self by flailing about.

Lately, when I redirect him or try to pick him up or put him down or put him in timeout he will flail back or throw him self on the ground. Often, I would say every other day he miscalculates and ends up bashing usually his head into the wall. I am really torn as to if I should just continue with what I started doing or if I should comfort him because he really does get hurt. In the past he has hit his head on purpose and then I would ignore that but these injuries are accidental, but wouldn't happen if he hadn't decided to flail about. I hate to see him hurt but I know he needs to learn not respond in such a manner.(especially when we are in the Walmart parking lot) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Any advice would be great, I just don't know what to do.

This is a tough one. In some ways I would like to think that common sense would tell him that if he hurt himself then maybe he shouldn't do that anymore. However, if you give him attention then he might see that what he is doing will gain mommy's attention.

My suggestion, if it is just a bump on the head then let him learn his own lesson. Make sure there isn't a serious injury, let him know that you love him, but try to avoid coddling as I think that might cause future problems. IMO

A friend of mine had a son who didn't want to go to bed. He would lay in his bed and continue to bang his head against the wall until he gave himself boo-boos. He was hoping that if he hurt himself bad enough mommy would come back in and bedtime would be prolonged. After enough self-inflicted boo-boos that did not cause mommy to come running he gave up.

Sara

I have never experienced this type of situation myself, but have knwon people whose children do the same types of behavior (banging head, falling to the floor, etc.) As hard as it is, it seems the best thing to do is ignore it. It is definitely for the purpose of getting attention. Recently my son went through a day or two when he was smacking himself in the head, and the more I said something about it, the more he did it. Well, at his preschool they have three rules- the Big B's They are: Be safe. Be kind. Be careful with our things. I asked him twice if he thought he was being safe and kind to himself, and he responded by stopping the behavior, hasn't done it since.

I'd let mine just smack themselves. And tell them they won't receive any sympathy from me. You act like a nut, you get hurt, YOUR problem ;)

but I'm a mean mom ;)

I don't mean to sound judgemental at all, but I wouldn't let him flail around. If our kids try that we hold them firmly on our laps around their bodies and arms, like a hug, so they can't move much. Usually it takes a long time the first few times but after that it usually stops the problem. While we hold them we tell them softly in their ear that when they stop fighting and screaming they can get down, but until then they will sit on our lap.

I don't know if this is the right thing, but when my little girl flails around and hits herself, slaps herself in the face, etc., I tell her very firmly that if she's going to behave like that, she needs to go to her room to do it, because I don't want to see it. At first, that just caused her to scream and flail around even more. My response to that was to pick her up and carry her to her room, set her on her bed, and tell her that she can come out when she decides to stop behaving like that. When she hurts herself behaving that way, I look at her very unsympathetically and tell her that she wouldn't be hurt if she hadn't decided to have her little tantrum. (IMO, if she doesn't need medical help, she doesn't need my attention/sympathy for behaving badly.)

Though they're less frequent, she still has the occasional fit. And I immediately send her to her room. She acts like such a teenager when that happens, too, lol. She marches out of the room to her room and slams the door behind her. For a little while, DH and I just left her like that, because it was too difficult to try to correct her with a straight face. Now, though, we go in and tell her that she is not to act like that, and if she does, it means she wants me/DH to spank her. Which produces another wave of wails, but we follow through on the spanking.

I'm hoping that there will be an end to the door slamming soon. DH says she's two going on sixteen, lol. It works for other things, though, to tell her that if she continues X behavior, she's telling me that she really wants a spanking. 9 times out of 10, that stops her. When that stops working, I'm going to stop spanking her through her diaper and give her a swat on her bare butt. I hate this part of parenting! I think she's old enough, though, to learn that her actions have consequences.

It's hard, because if you wait to discipline him, at his age, he may have completely forgotten he's in trouble by the time you get home. That's why I bought a minivan, lol!